153 hits
"I'll take Fucking Clues for $200."
Antidotes are what you take to prevent dotes.
Headline: Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
Headline: Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
"Everyone makes mistakes. It is what you do afterwards that counts."
Knowledge is often mistaken for intelligence. This is like mistaking a cup of milk for a cow.
Some husbands are living proof that a woman can take a joke.
Taking me seriously is a big mistake. I certainly wouldn't.-- Ani Difranco
Experience is what causes a person to make new mistakes instead of old ones.
Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you
Work is a fine thing if it doesn't take too much of your spare time.
Being in a nudist colony probably takes all the fun out of Halloween.
Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make them all yourself.
Auntie Em--Hate you. Hate Kansas. Taking the dog.-- Dorothy
Shikata ga nai.
Men are like parking spaces: the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.
They don't make nostalgia like they used to.
For longer than I can remember,
I've been looking for someone like you.
Someone with a head like yours,
and a torso too.
Birds sing and you're gonna pay.
The end.-- Tak (Invader Zim)
"Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy."
The sooner you start to code, the longer the program will take.-- Roy Carlson
The music is the magic carpet that the other things take naps on.-- Tori Amos
Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it takes a long time, and the light bulb has to really want to change.
Ralph's Observation: It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize that you are in a hurry.
If you can't take the heat, don't tickle the dragon.-- Scott Fahlman
The irony is that Bill Gates claims to be making a stable operating system and Linus Torvalds claims to be trying to take over the world.
In a nonsmoking area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal.-- Hannah More
Remember, it takes 42 muscles to frown, but only 4 to extend your middle finger and tell someone to "bite me!"
"Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd."-- Voltaire
"God created sex. Priests created marriage."-- Voltaire
The only thing I regret about my past is the length of it. If I had my life to live again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner.-- Tallulah Bankhead
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.-- Fred Allen
It's a mistake to underestimate the human capacity for self-delusion.-- Robert Park
Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy but socially dead.-- Wakko (Animaniacs)
"You are so lovely."
"Yes."
"Yes! And you take a compliment, too! I like that in a goddess."
The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions.-- Alfred Adler
Life is what happens to you when you're making other plans.-- Betty Talmadge
You wouldn't know a good time if it stripped naked, hopped on your face, and started wiggling!-- C. Stanley
Experience allows you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.-- Franklin P. Jones
Interpretation is the revenge of the intellect upon art.-- Susan Sontag
As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take which course he will he will be sure to repent it.-- Socrates
Take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: No one to blame.-- Erica Jong
"...only drugs make you feel as good as people in TV ads appear to be."-- Hakim Bey
"It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something."
It's only by NOT taking the human race seriously that I retain what fragments of my once considerable mental powers I still possess.-- Roger Noe
The course of true love never did run smooth.-- Shakespeare
"Healing takes courage, and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it."-- Tori Amos
Catapult: device for throwing cats long distances.
In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.-- Adlai Stevenson
Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself.-- Rita Mae Brown
"I wish I could drink like a lady
I can take one or two at the most.
Three and I'm under the table --
Four and I'm under the host!"
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.-- Voltaire
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself.-- Eleanor Roosevelt
Eiffel Tower: The Empire State Building after taxes.
You can't make a program without breaking some egos.
Table Snorkeling (tay' bul snawrk' ling), n: Frantic gesticulations when one bites into hot food and has to take in air to cool it off.-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")
"Men are like pumpkins. It seems like all the good ones are either taken or they've had everything scraped out of their heads with a spoon."
"Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life."-- Michael Sinz
Practical people would be more practical if they would take a little more time for dreaming.-- J. P. McEvoy
The standard you walk past is the standard you accept.
"Men are more apt to be mistaken in their generalizations than in their particular observations."-- Machiavelli
Those who don't know, talk. Those who don't talk, know.
Support your local medical examiner. Die strangely.-- Nikki Gustas
If God created us in his own image, we have more than reciprocated.-- Voltaire
Take my word for it, the silliest woman can manage a clever man, but it needs a very clever woman to manage a fool.-- Kipling
Law of Refrigerator Observation:
If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat.
"He who establishes his argument by noise and command shows that his reason is weak."
-- Michel de Montaigne
Accountant - someone who can put two and two together and make a living from it.
We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality.-- Albert Einstein
Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window.-- Steve Wozniak
Just about all real intellectual activity starts from the understanding that *there is a problem here*, especially in things we take for granted.-- Arnold Zwicky
On applause: They named it Ovation from the Latin ovis, a sheep.-- Plutarch
"A government that is big enough to give you all you want is big enough to take it all away."-- Barry Goldwater
Mom, romance is dead. It was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, then sold off piece by piece.-- Lisa (The Simpsons)
Why can't some people take a joke? Well, maybe because they're honest, and the joke doesn't belong to them.-- Matt Diamond
"How many of you ever started dating somene because you were too lazy to commit suicide?"-- Judy Tenuta
Take it from the staff of a five-cat house: A group of cats is a "conceit." They'd like to be a "pride" but that would fool no one.-- Morely Dotes
"Bad law is more likely to be supplemented than repealed."-- Dalin B. Oaks
The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from.-- Andy Tanenbaum
It's strange that men should take up crime when there are so many legal ways to be dishonest.-- Sunshine magazine
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his client to plant vines-- Frank Lloyd Wright
In case of emergency, speak in cliches.
The voters have spoken, the bastards...
The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient while Nature cures the disease.-- Voltaire
The law should make men free. The problem is making the law free.
"Friends don't let Friends drive Naked."
Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
"The only interesting answers are those which destroy the questions."-- Susan Sontag
"Graze on my lips; and if those hills be dry, stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie."-- William Shakespeare
"Science has made gods of us before we were even worthy of being men."-- Jean Rostand
I do not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.-- Voltaire
Basing any to-be-correct life philosophy on one tiny alteration of your current life philosophy, that needed replacement as you've decided, is just bound to be a mistake.
"In the U.S. you have to be a deviant or exist in extreme boredom...Make no mistake; all intellectuals are deviants in the U.S."-- William Burroughs
Lies, damned lies and user documentation.
Computer Science without FORTRAN and COBOL is like birthday cake without ketchup and mustard.
"It's good to know that if I behave strangely enough, society will take full responsibility for me."-- Ashleigh Brilliant
"Geologists know how to make the bedrock."
“Optimism is a strategy for making a better future. Because unless you believe that the future can be better, you are unlikely to step up and take responsibility for making it so.”-- Noam Chomsky
You never know what is enough until you know what is more than enough.-- William Blake
"Those who control their passions do so because their passions are weak enough to be controlled."-- William Blake
"A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention in human history, with the possible exception of handguns and tequila."-- Mitch Radcliffe
"A sense of humor is the only thing that keeps intelligent people from hanging themselves."-- Voltaire
Ad Nauseam: Commercials that make you puke.
In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.
"No man chooses evil because it is evil;
he only mistakes it for happiness, the good he seeks."-- Mary Wollstonecraft
we make happen the stuff we fear will happen
'Write what disturbs you, what you fear, what you have not been willing to speak about. Be willing to be split open.'-- Natalie Goldberg
I have had solemnly explained to me the audible differences between digital data (S/PDIF) carried over coax and carried over optical (coax is bassier, apparently).
-- Tag
"Ten people who speak make more noise than ten thousand who are silent."
The truth shall make you free, but first it shall make you angry.
Don't intterupt me when I'm talking to myself
The rich aren't like us, they pay less taxes.
Practical or mean and sneaky? - getting a permanent heart tatoo on your arm and getting three-day temporary tatoos for the names.
"In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted."-- Bertrand Russell
Words skittered out of his mouth like cartoon dogs on fresh-waxed linoleum, frantically going nowhere.-- Amy Tan
Skepticism, like chastity, should not be relinquished too readily.-- George Santayana
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
I must invent my own philosophical systems, or else be enslaved by other men's.-- William Blake
Idle hands are the air guitar's playground (Alas)
We shame outselves for the sake of simplicity.
"In all our searching, the only thing we found that makes the emptiness bearable, is each other" (Contact)
"Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities"
"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed."-- Carl Gustav Jung
Life is a sexually transmitted, fatal disease...
Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to become comfortable?-- Mia (Pulp Fiction)
"Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius -- and a lot of courage -- to move in the opposite direction."-- Albert Einstein
What's the matter, darling? Don't you recognize me with my clothes on?-- Tallulah Bankhead
Almost everything alive is about some kind of balance. Heck, even a lot of things that are not alive are about balance. However, thinking a particular balance is the only balance is often a mistake.