88 hits
Idle hands are the air guitar's playground (Alas)
Ass, n: The masculine of "lass".
"Self-improvement is a dangerous form of vanity."-- Alan Watts
"Linux is free as in Syphilis" (slashdot)
He who laughs last found the dirty meaning.
"You can tell the ideals of a nation by its advertisements."-- Norman Douglas
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.-- Douglas Adams
Expecting something for nothing is the most popular form of hope.-- Arnold Glasgow
As the cheetah said to the chameleon:
You can hide, but you can't run!-- Alan Williams
When rats leave a sinking ship, where exactly do they think they're going?-- Douglas Gauck
We can only see a short distance ahead, but we can see plenty there that needs to be done.-- Alan Turing
Good news is just life's way of keeping you off balance.
He who laughs last probably didn't understand the joke.
"Democracy consists of choosing your dictators, after they've told you what it is you want to hear."-- Alan Coren
"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be."-- Douglas Adams
"It is no coincidence that in no known language does the phrase 'as pretty as an airport' exist."-- Douglas Adams
Jack Benny played Mendelssohn last night. Mendelssohn lost.
And it came to pass that in the hands of the ignorant, the words of the Bible were used to beat plowshares into swords.-- Alan Watts
You have to understand art all by yourself. It's not like television, where you look at it and it explains to you what you are looking at.-- Jim Halat
Once in a while it really hits people that they don't have to experience the world in the way they have been told to.-- Alan Keightley
Perpetual motion, illustrated: Try putting a slinky on an escalator.
Renning's Maxim: Man is the highest animal. Man does the classifying.
The sun is like breasts - risky to look at unless you've got sunglasses.
"The Hitch Hiker's Guide has not been an opera. It has however been a tapestry, if you count a woven bath towel as a tapestry."-- Douglas Adams
The way to a man's heart is through his stomach and up.
Nononono. fourth and fifth ribs. Cleaner, too...-- Two girls, HPslash
Who cares whether the glass is half full or half empty? Shouldn't the question be who's been drinking out of my glass?
Almost everything alive is about some kind of balance. Heck, even a lot of things that are not alive are about balance. However, thinking a particular balance is the only balance is often a mistake.
Never run from anything immortal. It only attracts their attention. (The Last Unicorn)
Murphy's Seventh Law of Computing:
He who laughs last probably made a back-up.
Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.-- Douglas Adams
"You know they've reintroduced the death penalty for insurance company directors?"
"Really?" said Arthur. "No I didn't. For what offense?"
Trillian frowned. "What do you mean, offense?"
"I see."-- Douglas Adams (The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair.-- Douglas Adams (The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
The man who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd. The man who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever been.-- Alan Ashley-Pitt
This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.-- Oscar Wilde
Arthur felt happy. He was terribly pleased that the day was for once working out so much according to plan. Only twenty minutes ago he had decided he would go mad, and now he was already chasing a Chesterfield sofa across the fields of prehistoric Earth.-- Douglas Adams (Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
"Shouldn't we be carefully placing these comics in plastic bags?"
"No, we have lives." (MST3K)
If there is no struggle, there is no progress. Those who profess to favor freedom and yet renounce controversy are people who want crops without ploughing the ground.-- Frederick Douglass
"If you ever have a free moment, you might consider checking out the travel brochures for the town in which you live. You might be amazed. You might not want to live there anymore."-- Douglas Coupland
"If I have any more caffeine, I'm going to end up running down the hallway naked." (Someone on Slashdot)
"Simple pleasures are the last refuge of the complex."-- Oscar Wilde
Theists think all gods but theirs are false. Atheists simply don't make an exception for the last one.
"Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative."-- Oscar Wilde
2+2=5-ism: Caving in to a target marketing strategy aimed at oneself after holding out for a long period of time. "Oh, all right, I'll buy your stupid cola. Now leave me alone."-- Douglas Coupland ('Generation X')
"I really didn't foresee the Internet. But then, neither did the computer industry. Not that that tells us very much of course - the computer industry didn't even foresee that the century was going to end."-- Douglas Adams
Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend--or a meaningful day.-- The Dalai Lama ("Time," 11 April 1988)
There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarrely inexeplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.-- Douglas Adams (The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy radio scripts)
The goal of Computer Science is to build something that will last at least until we've finished building it.
When you look at someone through rose colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags. (BoJack Horseman)
'Anything that happens, happens'
'Anything that, in happening, causes something else to happen, causes something else to happen.'
'Anything that, in happening, causes itself to happen again, happens again.'
'It doesn't necessarily do it in chronological order, though.'-- Douglas Adams (The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
"It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends upon his not understanding it."
It is surely a great calamity for a human being to have no obsessions.-- Robert Bly
Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock.-- Pablo Picasso
"People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing.. that’s why we recommend it daily."
Practical philosophy: The glass is neither half empty nor half full. It is twice as large as it needs to be.
Only when the last tree has died, and the last river been poisoned, and the last fish been caught, will we realize that we cannot eat money.-- 19th Century Cree Indian
Those who love you are not fooled by mistakes you have made or dark images you hold about yourself. They remember your beauty when you feel ugly; your wholeness when you are broken; your innocence when you feel guilty; and your purpose when you are confused.-- Alan Cohen
"I like the word 'indolence'. It makes my laziness seem classy."-- Bern Williams
Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.-- Jules Renord
The last good thing written in C was Franz Schubert's Symphony #9.-- Erwin Dietrich
I thought I was in love once, and then later I thought maybe it was just an inner-ear imbalance.-- Fraser (Due South)
"Don't you understand that we need to be childish in order to understand? Only a child sees things with perfect clarity, because it hasn't developed all those filters which prevent us from seeing things that we don't expect to see."-- Douglas Adams (Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency)
Pigslice, n: The last unclaimed piece of pizza that everyone is secretly dying for.-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")
If I have seen further than other men, it is by stepping on their glasses.-- Michael Swaine
The avalanche has already started. It is too late for the pebbles to vote.-- Ambassador Kosh
Anything invented before your fifteenth birthday is the order of nature. That's how it should be. Anything invented between your 15th and 35th birthday is new and exciting, and you might get a career there. Anything invented after that day, however, is against nature and should be prohibited.-- Douglas Adams
"Last week a cop stopped me in my car. He asked me if I had a police record. I said 'no, but I have the new Devo album'. Cops have no sense of humor."
In a lecture on dairy physics: "We have on the left a spherical cow of uniform density, on the right is a spherical hay stack of uniform density. The two are separated by an infinite fence of infinitesimal thickness delta. Now, before looking at the governing relationships...let's make some assumptions."-- Alain Bouchard
There's so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic.-- Lily Tomlin
Just as the whole is more than the sum of parts, the forest more than the tree and birds, so is mankind greater than the wanking of its nerds on slashdot.org.