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Sanity is a cozy lie.
-- Susan Sontag

Interpretation is the revenge of the intellect upon art.
-- Susan Sontag

"Oh, shit!"
-- Data (Star Trek: Generations)

Shikata ga nai.

"The only interesting answers are those which destroy the questions."
-- Susan Sontag

I have had solemnly explained to me the audible differences between digital data (S/PDIF) carried over coax and carried over optical (coax is bassier, apparently).

-- Tag

Adolescence, n: The stage between puberty and adultery.

Magic happens.

Religion is probably, after sex, the second oldest resource which human beings have available to them for blowing their minds.
-- Susan Sontag

I got a sweater for Xmas. I wanted a screamer or moaner.
(FidoNet tagline)

Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself.
-- Rita Mae Brown

Those who don't know, talk. Those who don't talk, know.

"God created sex. Priests created marriage."
-- Voltaire

"I'll take Fucking Clues for $200."

My heart is pure as the driven slush.
-- Tallulah Bankhead

"Every murderer is probably somebody's old friend."
-- Agatha Christie

Life is what happens to you when you're making other plans.
-- Betty Talmadge

Eiffel Tower: The Empire State Building after taxes.

"How many of you ever started dating somene because you were too lazy to commit suicide?"
-- Judy Tenuta

May your future be limited only by your dreams.
-- Christa McAuliffe

The advantage of emotions is that they lead us astray.
-- Oscar Wilde

The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from.
-- Andy Tanenbaum

If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.
-- Paul Beatty

Only the good die young. Note the average age in Congress.

Patageometry, n: The study of those mathematical properties that are invariant under brain transplants.

If God created us in his own image, we have more than reciprocated.
-- Voltaire

I do not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.
-- Voltaire

Words skittered out of his mouth like cartoon dogs on fresh-waxed linoleum, frantically going nowhere.
-- Amy Tan

The rich aren't like us, they pay less taxes.

"The more corrupt the republic, the more numerous the laws."
-- Cornelius Tacitus

"Never judge a book by its movie."
-- J.W. Eagan

"They were just sucked into space"
"Blown, sir"
"Sorry, Data"
"Common mistake, sir"

-- Riker and Data (Star Trek, The Naked Now)

Antidotes are what you take to prevent dotes.

Don't intterupt me when I'm talking to myself

The only thing I regret about my past is the length of it. If I had my life to live again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner.
-- Tallulah Bankhead

All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.
-- Sean O'Casey

What's the matter, darling? Don't you recognize me with my clothes on?
-- Tallulah Bankhead

"Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd."
-- Voltaire

There is always a big future in computer maintenance.
-- Deteriorata (from the National Lampoon Radio Dinner album)

The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them.
-- Mark Twain

Catapult: device for throwing cats long distances.

A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.

"That's the good thing about dying; when you've nothing to lose, you can run any risk you want."
(Montag, Fahrenheit 451, Ray Bradbury)

The standard you walk past is the standard you accept.

"People aren’t against you; they are for themselves."

Headline: Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

You don't wanna get laid, man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you gotta talk to 'em.
(Colors)

Accordion, n: A bagpipe with pleats.

Headline: Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

I revel some but not nearly enough to get up on stage. In fact, the amount of drunken revelry required to get me on stage in a karaoke bar would probably also send me into a coma.
-- Joe Lavin

Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.
-- Alfred Hitchcock

Propaganda - A socially correct goose

"The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if they foul up, there's no law against whacking them around a little."
-- Porterfield

"Confronted with the choice, the American people would choose the policeman's truncheon over the anarchist's bomb.
-- Spiro T. Agnew

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
-- Voltaire

Some husbands are living proof that a woman can take a joke.

When a metric becomes a target, it ceases to be a good metric

Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.
-- Carl Sagan

"Debugging is anticipated with distaste, performed with reluctance, and bragged about forever."

The writer is the engineer of the human soul.
-- Joseph Stalin

The music is the magic carpet that the other things take naps on.
-- Tori Amos

Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?

The voters have spoken, the bastards...

Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you

Glossofacilia: A tendency to use very large words to explain very small phenomena. Glossofacilia drives to complexify rather than simplify and is the natural instinct of reactionaries to an age of change.
-- Jim Taylor

It's strange that men should take up crime when there are so many legal ways to be dishonest.
-- Sunshine magazine

Sanity is madness put to good use.
-- George Santayana

Support your local medical examiner. Die strangely.
-- Nikki Gustas

"What's reality anyway? Nothing but a collective hunch."
-- Jane Wagner

Given that God is infinite, and given that the Universe is also infinite, would you like a toasted tea cake?
-- Talkie Toaster (Red Dwarf: 'White hole')

"Legend -- a lie that has attained the dignity of age."
-- H. L. Mencken

"Healing takes courage, and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it."
-- Tori Amos

Oh yeah? You wanna step out of the giant robot and say that again?

Why should we subsidize intellectual curiosity?
-- Ronald Reagan