randomsearchproposestats
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Sanity is a cozy lie.
-- Susan Sontag

Interpretation is the revenge of the intellect upon art.
-- Susan Sontag

"The only interesting answers are those which destroy the questions."
-- Susan Sontag

Adolescence, n: The stage between puberty and adultery.

I have had solemnly explained to me the audible differences between digital data (S/PDIF) carried over coax and carried over optical (coax is bassier, apparently).

-- Tag

"Oh, shit!"
-- Data (Star Trek: Generations)

Religion is probably, after sex, the second oldest resource which human beings have available to them for blowing their minds.
-- Susan Sontag

Magic happens.

"God created sex. Priests created marriage."
-- Voltaire

I got a sweater for Xmas. I wanted a screamer or moaner.
(FidoNet tagline)

Shikata ga nai.

The advantage of emotions is that they lead us astray.
-- Oscar Wilde

If God created us in his own image, we have more than reciprocated.
-- Voltaire

Patageometry, n: The study of those mathematical properties that are invariant under brain transplants.

If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.
-- Paul Beatty

"Never judge a book by its movie."
-- J.W. Eagan

"Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd."
-- Voltaire

All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.
-- Sean O'Casey

I do not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.
-- Voltaire

The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them.
-- Mark Twain

Catapult: device for throwing cats long distances.

Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.
-- Alfred Hitchcock

Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself.
-- Rita Mae Brown

"That's the good thing about dying; when you've nothing to lose, you can run any risk you want."
(Montag, Fahrenheit 451, Ray Bradbury)

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
-- Voltaire

Eiffel Tower: The Empire State Building after taxes.

Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.
-- Carl Sagan

"Debugging is anticipated with distaste, performed with reluctance, and bragged about forever."

I revel some but not nearly enough to get up on stage. In fact, the amount of drunken revelry required to get me on stage in a karaoke bar would probably also send me into a coma.
-- Joe Lavin

The writer is the engineer of the human soul.
-- Joseph Stalin

The standard you walk past is the standard you accept.

Sanity is madness put to good use.
-- George Santayana

Those who don't know, talk. Those who don't talk, know.

Support your local medical examiner. Die strangely.
-- Nikki Gustas

Why should we subsidize intellectual curiosity?
-- Ronald Reagan

"What's reality anyway? Nothing but a collective hunch."
-- Jane Wagner

Facts are stupid things.
-- Ronald Reagan (1988 Republican Convention)

"I'll take Fucking Clues for $200."

Only the good die young. Note the average age in Congress.

My heart is pure as the driven slush.
-- Tallulah Bankhead

On applause: They named it Ovation from the Latin ovis, a sheep.
-- Plutarch

Language and its absurd conjunctions;
Constellations and crustaceans rhyme.

"The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if they foul up, there's no law against whacking them around a little."
-- Porterfield

Accordion, n: A bagpipe with pleats.

"To call war the soil of courage and virtue is like calling debauchery the soil of love."
-- George Santayana

Propaganda - A socially correct goose

"How many of you ever started dating somene because you were too lazy to commit suicide?"
-- Judy Tenuta

Science is to computer science as hydrodynamics is to plumbing.
-- Stan Kelly-Bootle ("Computer Language," Oct 90)

You wouldn't know a good time if it stripped naked, hopped on your face, and started wiggling!
-- C. Stanley

"They were just sucked into space"
"Blown, sir"
"Sorry, Data"
"Common mistake, sir"

-- Riker and Data (Star Trek, The Naked Now)

"Every murderer is probably somebody's old friend."
-- Agatha Christie

"Facial art... ooh, how... wilderness of you!"
-- Q (to Chakotay, in Voyager, 'Death Wish')

The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from.
-- Andy Tanenbaum

It's strange that men should take up crime when there are so many legal ways to be dishonest.
-- Sunshine magazine

"Reality is the leading cause of stress for those in touch with it."
-- Jack Wagner

"Most men complacently accept 'knowledge' as 'truth.' They are sheep, ruled by fear."
-- Sydney Losstarot (Vagrant Story)

"Propaganda is to democracy what violence is to totalitarianism."
-- Noam Chomsky

The voters have spoken, the bastards...

May your future be limited only by your dreams.
-- Christa McAuliffe

Life is what happens to you when you're making other plans.
-- Betty Talmadge

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient while Nature cures the disease.
-- Voltaire

Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

When nothing else remains, one must scream. Silence is the ultimate crime against humanity.
-- Nadezhda Mandelstam

"Science has made gods of us before we were even worthy of being men."
-- Jean Rostand

Lies, damned lies and user documentation.

In order to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
-- Carl Sagan

Abortion is advocated only by persons who have themselves been born.
-- Ronald Reagan

The only thing I regret about my past is the length of it. If I had my life to live again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner.
-- Tallulah Bankhead

The human language is like a cracked kettle on which we beat out a tune for a dancing bear, when we hope with our music to move the stars.
-- Gustave Flaubert

"A sense of humor is the only thing that keeps intelligent people from hanging themselves."
-- Voltaire

Man has always sacrificed truth to his vanity, comfort and advantage. He lives by make-believe.
-- W. Somerset Maugham

They don't make nostalgia like they used to.

The nuclear arms race is like two sworn enemies standing waist deep in gasoline, one with three matches, the other with five.
-- Dr. Carl Sagan

Putt's Law: Technology is dominated by two types of people: Those who understand what they do not manage and those who manage what they do not understand.

"The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do."
-- Walter Bagehot

"The more corrupt the republic, the more numerous the laws."
-- Cornelius Tacitus

No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible.
-- Stanislow Jerzy Lec

Dessert is probably the most important stage of the meal, since it will be the last thing your guests remember before they pass out all over the table.
-- The Anarchist Cookbook

Antidotes are what you take to prevent dotes.

Don't intterupt me when I'm talking to myself

The rich aren't like us, they pay less taxes.

The music is the magic carpet that the other things take naps on.
-- Tori Amos

Seagull Manager: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps over everything and then leaves.

"Healing takes courage, and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it."
-- Tori Amos

Words skittered out of his mouth like cartoon dogs on fresh-waxed linoleum, frantically going nowhere.
-- Amy Tan

"True friendship is never serene."
-- Marie de Rabutin-Chantal

Skepticism, like chastity, should not be relinquished too readily.
-- George Santayana

Inquiry is fatal to certainty.
-- Will Durant

"Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung."
-- Voltaire (1694-1778)

Idle hands are the air guitar's playground
(Alas)

Reality can be beaten with enough imagination.

"All truth passes through three stages: first, it is ridiculed; second, it is violently opposed; third, it is accepted as being self-evident"
-- Schopenhauer

This sentence contradicts itself -- no, actually it doesn't.
-- Douglas Hofstadter

Sign in a Nairobi restaurant:
"Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager."

If you can't take the heat, don't tickle the dragon.
-- Scott Fahlman

If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.

[Not to mention, butterfly would be flutterby. Ed.]

-- Doug Larson

"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed."
-- Carl Gustav Jung

Life is a sexually transmitted, fatal disease...

Taking me seriously is a big mistake. I certainly wouldn't.
-- Ani Difranco

"Legend -- a lie that has attained the dignity of age."
-- H. L. Mencken

On an American Airlines package of nuts: Instructions: Open package, eat nuts.

"He who establishes his argument by noise and command shows that his reason is weak."

-- Michel de Montaigne

What's the matter, darling? Don't you recognize me with my clothes on?
-- Tallulah Bankhead

It's only by NOT taking the human race seriously that I retain what fragments of my once considerable mental powers I still possess.
-- Roger Noe