179 hits
It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.-- Emerson
The end of the human race will be that it will eventually die of civilization.-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
A chief event of life is the day in which we have encountered a mind that startled us.-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matter compared to what lies within us.-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
People do not seem to realize that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character.-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Classic art was the art of necessity: modern romantic art bears the stamp of caprice and chance.-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"In every work of genius we recognize our own rejected thoughts; they come back to us with a certain alienated majesty."-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"One person can trigger a million thoughts."
Be the person you needed when you were younger.
The world is moving so fast these days that the man who says it can't be done is generally interrupted by someone doing it.-- Harry Emerson Fosdick
"There comes a time in every man's education when he arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance; that imitation is suicide."-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
By necessity, by proclivity, and by delight, we all quote. In fact, it is as difficult to appropriate the thoughts of others as it is to invent.-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world."
"Make lots of money", "enjoy the work", "operate within the law": choose 2-- Brian Anderson
A child is a person who can't understand why someone would give away a perfectly good kitten.-- Doug Larson
Secret, n: Something you tell to one person at a time.
"Not a Morning Person" doesn't even begin to cover it.
Thinking is not a panacea, but to paraphrase Gandhi, maybe it would be a good idea to try some.-- Jess Anderson
If a man carefully examines his thoughts, he will be surprised to find how much he lives in the future. His well-being is always ahead. Such a creature is probably immortal.-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"The natural progress of things is for liberty to yield and government to gain ground."-- Thomas Jefferson
In case of emergency, speak in cliches.
In a cemetery:
"Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves."
"Que sera, seratonin! (Meep.)"-- Mercy
"Those who would sacrifice a little freedom for a little order, will lose both, and deserve neither."-- Thomas Jefferson
"We come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person, perfectly."
"When the people fear their government there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty."-- Thomas Jefferson
Ignoranus, n: A person who is not only ignorant, but an asshole to boot.
"Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems."-- Homer Simpson
Sometimes you have to bite people hard on the lip before they realize you're not kissing them, so keenly do they yearn for approval.-- Jess Anderson
I don't say we all ought to misbehave, but we ought to look as if we could.-- Orson Welles
There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX.
We don't believe this to be a coincidence.-- Jeremy S. Anderson
Adult: A person that has stopped growing at both ends but not in the middle.
Enlighten the people generally, and tyranny and oppressions of body and mind will vanish like evil spirits at the dawn of day.-- Thomas Jefferson
Experience is what causes a person to make new mistakes instead of old ones.
"The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it."-- Doug Larson
Rehab is for quitters.
"Colleges are places where pebbles are polished and diamonds are dimmed."-- R.S. Ingersoll
Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason than that of blindfolded fear.-- Thomas Jefferson
"I'd like to meet the person who invented sex and see what they're working on now."
If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
"They keep saying the right person will come along. I think mine got hit by a truck."
"I love Saturday morning cartoons, what classic humour! This is what entertainment is all about... Idiots, explosives and falling anvils."-- Bill Watterson (Calvin & Hobbes)
Headline: Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free.
A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals and you know it.-- K (MiB)
God has no place within these walls, just as facts have no place within organized religion.-- Homer Simpson
The two most common elements in the Universe are hydrogen and stupidity.-- Harlan Ellison
Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
A genius is just a crazy person with an audience-- Tim Minchin
To be understood is a luxury.
Man has always sacrificed truth to his vanity, comfort and advantage. He lives by make-believe.-- W. Somerset Maugham
All right brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.-- Homer Simpson
"The only interesting answers are those which destroy the questions."-- Susan Sontag
America was founded by drug smugglers -- rum was the drug, but smugglers nonetheless.
"Everybody winds up kissing the wrong person good night."-- Andy Warhol
Humility is no substitute for a good personality.-- Fran Lebowitz
"Faith" is a fine invention
When Gentlemen can see --
But microscopes are prudent
In an Emergency.-- Emily Dickinson
If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.
[Not to mention, butterfly would be flutterby. Ed.]-- Doug Larson
"I have so many different personalities in me, and I still feel lonely."-- Tori Amos
The more sane often call themselves insane to avoid others' judgement.
"I find imperfection the most interesting thing about a person"-- Jodi Foster
Odo: That's a very personal question.
Jadzia Dax: I'm sorry, but after seven lifetimes, impersonal questions aren't much fun anymore. (Star Trek: DS9 (Shadowplay))
"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a little better; whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is the meaning of success."-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Imagination grows by exercise, and contrary to common belief, is more powerful in the mature than in the young.-- W. Somerset Maugham
If I can make just one person laugh, then it must've been a pretty good eulogy.-- Wade Kwon
Thinking of Maud you forget everything else. -- hack v1.0.3
Who was that Maud person anyway? -- nethack v3.1.0
In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.-- Adlai Stevenson
"There are very few personal problems that cannot be resolved by application of suitable quantities of duct tape."
Our hope of immortality does not come from any religions, but nearly all religions come from that hope.-- Robert Green Ingersoll
Do unto others before they undo you.
Law of Hydrodynamics: When a body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure.-- Earl Wilson
We are all inclined to judge ourselves by our ideals; others by their acts.-- Harold Nicolson
Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.-- Will Rogers
"If pigs could vote, the man with the slop bucket would be elected swineherd everytime, no matter how much slaughtering he did on the side."-- Orson Scott Card
"Here's a horrible thought: You know how dumb the average person is? Well, half the human race is even dumber than that..."
Abortion is advocated only by persons who have themselves been born.-- Ronald Reagan
I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.-- Lily Tomlin
"Misquotation is, in fact, the pride and privilege of the learned. A widely-read man never quotes accurately for the rather obvious reason that he has read too widely."-- Hesketh Pearson
I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain.-- Lily Tomlin
'Be yourself' is about the worst advice you can give to people.-- Tom Masson
"A promiscuous person is someone who is getting more sex than you are."-- Victor Lownes
The definition of a beautiful woman is one who loves me.-- Sloan Wilson
Things will get better, despite our efforts to improve them.-- Will Rogers
"A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer."-- Robert Frost
The voters have spoken, the bastards...
Cat, n: Lapwarmer with built-in buzzer.
Interpretation is the revenge of the intellect upon art.-- Susan Sontag
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people whom we personally dislike.-- Oscar Wilde
"Loved by some, accepted by others and misunderstood by most."
The sooner you start to code, the longer the program will take.-- Roy Carlson
"Fast, fat computers breed slow, lazy programmers."-- Robert Hummel
There are things so deeply personal that they can be revealed only to strangers.-- Richard Rodriguez
If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?-- Will Rogers
Real programmers don't comment their code. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.
Politicians should be changed frequently, like diapers - and for much the same reason.
I have so little sex appeal that my gynecologist calls me 'sir.'-- Joan Rivers
It is dangerous to let the public behind the scenes. They are easily disillusioned and then they are angry with you, for it was the illusion they loved.-- W. Somerset Maugham
Any member introducing a dog into the Society's premises shall be liable to a fine of one pound. Any animal leading a blind person shall be deemed a cat. (Rule 46, Oxford Union Society, London)
"Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong answers."
"Most of us, when all is said and done, like what we like and make up reasons for it afterwards."-- Soren F. Petersen
Ad Nauseam: Commercials that make you puke.
Headline: Miners Refuse to Work after Death
God made us sisters. Prozac made us friends.
I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.-- Dave Edison
As I stare into the abyss of the toilet bowl I try hard to rememeber the reason why I felt the desperate need to mix vodka and red wine with whiskey and tequila.-- Shirley Manson
"Writers aren't exactly people...they're a whole lot of people trying to be one person."-- F. Scott Fitzgerald
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.-- Oscar Wilde
"Documentation is the castor oil of programming. Managers know it must be good because the programmers hate it so much."
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.-- Will Rogers
Life may seem unfair, but Life never cheats the way people do.-- Stewart Kramer
VB is very useful for allowing non programmers to prove they cant program.-- Druck
There are only two industries that refer to their customers as 'users.'-- Edward Tufte
All that glitters has a high refractive index.
Economics exists merely to employ economists.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.-- Earl Wilson
Wreckless Driving -- You'd think that would be a good thing.-- Chris Sampson
Real programmers can write assembly code in any language.-- Larry Wall
Art is the desire of a man to express himself, to record the reactions of his personality to the world he lives in.-- Amy Lowell
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Sign in a Nairobi restaurant:
"Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager."
Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.-- Confucius
The only valid censorship of ideas is the right of people not to listen.-- Tommy Smothers
The first principle is that you must not fool yourself - and you are the easiest person to fool.-- Richard Feynman
Giving help doesn't mean dashing in and doing what seems like a good idea to you. It means doing what the other person wants. If what the person wants is for you leave them alone, it means doing that.-- John Fisher
Now, in the Overall Schema Of The Universe, I would imagine that this sort of thing ranks somewhere down around gnat's eyelashes.-- George Madison
"A successful tool is one that was used to do something undreamed of by its author."-- S. C. Johnson
"If Today Was a Fish, I'd Throw It Back In." (Song Title)
"Success in almost any field depends more on energy and drive than it does on intelligence. This explains why we have so many stupid leaders."-- Sloan Wilson
"All dogmas perish the thinking mind, especially ones you agree with."-- Adam Richardson
Hang in there, retirement is only thirty years away!
I think it's adorable that our fans call me Shirl. It's preferrable to asshole.-- Shirley Manson
The intensity comes from meaning, not from extremes.
Customer: Cute cat. What's its name?
Randal Graves: Annoying customer. (Clerks)
There are lots of things I'd like to be someday, but "normal" is definitely not one of them.-- Nelson Minar
"The chains of habit are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken."-- Samuel Johnson
Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must be first overcome.-- Samuel Johnson
The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
Remember that you are unique, just like everyone else.
"That must be wonderful! I don't understand it at all."
We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality.-- Albert Einstein
'It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like.'-- Jackie Mason
True friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable.-- David Tyson Gentry
Headline: Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
He who laughs last probably didn't understand the joke.
Your powers are useless, I'm wearing tin foil underwear!
"There ain't no rules around here, we're trying to accomplish something."-- Thomas Alva Edison
"Public opinion sets bounds to every government, and is the real sovereign in every free one."-- James Madison
Scientists find wonder in everything, except extremely dull papers on quality assurance.
-- Telo (#xkcd)
The guns and the bombs, the rockets and the warships, are all symbols of human failure.-- Lyndon B Johnson