211 hits
Blow your mind - smoke dynamite.
A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals and you know it.-- K (MiB)
A genius is just a crazy person with an audience-- Tim Minchin
"Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life."-- Michael Sinz
"The strongest man in the world is he who stands alone."-- Henrik Ibsen
Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to become comfortable?-- Mia (Pulp Fiction)
I don't know much about morality but I know what I shouldn't like.-- Tim Minchin
Watching these guys trying to be wireheads is like watching old people fuck-- Mike Belt
Knowledge is often mistaken for intelligence. This is like mistaking a cup of milk for a cow.
Organic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon compounds.
Biochemistry is the study of carbon compounds that crawl.-- Mike Adams
He who knows only his own side of the case knows little of that.-- John Stuart Mill
...people with a moebius strip of a mind...
If I have seen further than other men, it is by stepping on their glasses.-- Michael Swaine
Headline: Miners Refuse to Work after Death
"The disappearance of a sense of responsibility is the most far-reaching consequence of submission to authority."-- Stanley Milgram
"One person can trigger a million thoughts."
"No one has ever loved anyone the way everyone wants to be loved."-- Mignon McLaughlin
Don't seek happiness. Happiness is like an orgasm. If you think about it too much it goes away.-- Tim Minchin
I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
There are lots of things I'd like to be someday, but "normal" is definitely not one of them.-- Nelson Minar
Hermits have no peer pressure.
Economics exists merely to employ economists.
"A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention in human history, with the possible exception of handguns and tequila."-- Mitch Radcliffe
"Emacs is for people who desperately want to get drunk, but feel guilty doing so without a reason."-- Miles O'Neal
"It's foolish to be prejudiced. There are so many reasons to hate people on an individual basis."-- Dennis Miller
"Show me the books he loves and I shall know the man far better than through mortal friends."-- S. Weir Mitchell
A age is called dark not because the light fails to shine, but because people refuse to see it.-- James Michener ("Space")
Proof by intimidation: 'Trivial'.
If I'm not back in five minutes, wait longer. (Ace Ventura)
Landing: a controlled mid-air collision with a planet.
"He who establishes his argument by noise and command shows that his reason is weak."
-- Michel de Montaigne
Organized Religion is like Organized Crime; it preys on peoples' weakness, generates huge profits for its operators, and is almost impossible to eradicate.-- Mike Hermann
Before I came here I was confused about this subject. Having listened to your lecture I am still confused, but on a higher level.-- Enrico Fermi
May a Misguided Platypus lay its Eggs in your Jockey Shorts.
"If you're one in a million, there are ten of you in New York."
We're the technical experts. We were hired so that management could ignore our recommendations and tell us how to do our jobs.-- Mike Andrews (a.s.r.)
Love me or hate me, but spare me your indifference.-- Libbie Fudim
"Loved by some, accepted by others and misunderstood by most."
War does not determine who is right, war determines who is left.
Science is not a body of knowledge nor a system of belief; it is just a term which describes humankind’s incremental acquisition of understanding through observation. Science is awesome.-- Tim Minchin
Mirth prolongeth life and causeth health.
Begin somewhere; you cannot build a reputation on what you intend to do.-- Liz Smith
Microsoft: Re-inventing the square wheel.
If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
"I'd probably be famous now if I wasn't such a good waitress."-- Jane Siberry
The effort of using machines to mimic the human mind has always struck me as rather silly. I would rather use them to mimic something better.-- Edsger Dijkstra
"We need a new cosmology. New Gods. New Sacraments. Another drink."-- Patti Smith
"Everyone makes mistakes. It is what you do afterwards that counts."
"We are all born charming, fresh and spontaneous and must be civilized before we are fit to participate in society."-- Miss Manners (Judith Martin)
"I'm often silent when I'm screaming inside."
When I see a jogger I swerve my car towards him and pretend I passed out while I was driving. I miss him at the last minute but I bet it adds some excitement to his workout.-- Chris Smith
There has been opposition to every innovation in the history of man, with the possible exception of the sword.-- Benjamin Dana
Drink Canada Dry! You might not succeed, but it is fun trying.
Nothing is so smiple that it can't be screwed up.
"I don't mind you coming here and wasting all my time, 'cause when you're standing oh so near, I kinda lose my mind."-- The Cars
If the pen is mightier than the sword, what happens when you run out of ink?
Talk to your kids about sex. Tell them just how absolutely incredible it really is. (The Covert Comic)
Love thine enemies... it really pisses them off.
Q: Why did the germ cross the microscope?
A: To get to the other slide.
Seminars, n.: From `semi' and `arse', hence, any half-assed discussion.
Adult: A person that has stopped growing at both ends but not in the middle.
"The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places."-- Hemingway
I am Dyslexic of Borg. Your ass will be laminated.
It is a good thing to in your mind be able to seperate the artist from the art.
Experience is what causes a person to make new mistakes instead of old ones.
Life is a sexually transmitted, fatal disease...
IRC is not 'more than a toy'. It's LESS than... a belch on a windy day. IRC is a little ant exploring the inside of a microwave oven for all five seconds of its short, happy, exploding life."-- Kibo
Poetry is a deal of joy and pain and wonder, with a dash of the dictionary.-- Kahlil Gibran
If the mind were exercised as much as the mouth, we would be a race of geniuses.
"Faith" is a fine invention
When Gentlemen can see --
But microscopes are prudent
In an Emergency.-- Emily Dickinson
Remember, to be forewarned is to be forearmed, and to be forearmed is to be half octopus.-- Gene Smith
If you sat a million monkeys down at a million computers, they might just come up with a great... Oh wait... we're already doing that.-- J.P. Styskal
Do not condemn the judgment of another because it differs from your own. You may both be wrong.-- Dandemis
Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
"Bother," said the Borg, "We've assimilated Pooh."
If it wasn't for the optimist the pessimist would never know how happy he isn't.
Smile, it makes people wonder what you're thinking.
"Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know."-- Ernest Hemingway
"The laws of probability, so true in general, so fallacious in particular."-- Edward Gibbon
For most mothers, day care is a problem. I'm looking for night care, too.-- Cathy Crimmins
PHP is a minor evil perpetrated and created by incompetent amateurs, whereas Perl is a great and insidious evil, perpetrated by skilled but perverted professionals.-- Jon Ribbens
Thinking always of trying to do more brings a state of mind in which nothing seems impossible.-- Henry Ford
"'Stay' is a charming word in a friend's vocabulary."
People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first.-- David H. Comins
If the pen is mightier than the sword then how can actions speak louder than words?
Half of what I say is meaningless; but I say it so that the other half may reach you.-- Kahlil Gibran
"They keep saying the right person will come along. I think mine got hit by a truck."
Law of Cat Landing:
A cat will always land in the softest place possible; often the mid-section of an unsuspecting, reclining human.
'Impossible' tends to be an opinion rather than a fact.
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.-- Bradley's Bromide
The light at the end of a tunnel may be an oncoming train.
I have a spelling checker,
It came with my PC;
It plainly marks four my revue
Mistakes I cannot sea.
I've run this poem threw it
I'm sure your pleased too no
Its letter perfect in it's weigh
My checker tolled me sew.-- Janet Minor (`Spellbound')
"Are you queer? Maybe just for tonight? 20 minutes? You don't have to be conscious."
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.-- Dr. Seuss
Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity.
The human animal differs from the lesser primates in his passion for lists of "Ten Best".-- H. Allen Smith
"Man gazing at the stars is proverbially at the mercy of the puddles in the road."-- Alexander Smith
Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make them all yourself.
"It's a dog eat dog world, and I'm wearing milk bone underwear."-- Norm (Cheers)
Dead men tell no tales, but then, neither do mimes.-- Wade Kwon
First law of debate: Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.
"Microsoft is not the problem. Microsoft is the symptom."-- Eric S. Raymond
Virtue is more to be feared than vice, because its excesses are not subject to the regulation of conscience.-- Adam Smith
"Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Become a Librarian."
"We're not exploiting women. We're exploiting middle-aged men with credit cards." (on porn)
"When men are pure, laws are useless; when men are corrupt, laws are broken."-- Benjamin Disraeli
Truth is the most valuable thing we have. Let us economize it.
Lunatic Asylum, n: The place where optimism most flourishes.
Natural vs. unnatural is a pretty worthless distinction.
-- Greg Parkinson
Only to someone such as yourself, with a deliberate disability to perceive the difference.
-- Bob Sarver
But easy for someone like you, who can manufacture the difference on the spot.-- Mike Batchelor
"I don't know who Jim Henson is but I've heard he has his hand in a lot of things around here."-- Kermit the Frog (in 1972)
I always used to wonder why the pope wore drag.
-- Tom Farrell
Who cares, as long as he looks faaabulous?!-- Gene Smith
Come, let us retract the foreskin of misconception and apply the wire brush of enlightenment.
Those who believe that they believe in God, but without passion in their hearts, without anguish in mind, without uncertainty, without doubt, without an element of despair even in their consolation, believe only in the God idea, not God Himself.-- Miguel de Unamuno (Spanish philosopher and writer)
If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.
The rest of them will write Perl programs.
Stand and fight, you misbegotten spawn of the perverse breeding between a pixie and a squirrel!
"Goldilocks is about property rights. Little Red Riding Hood is a tale of seduction, rape, murder, and cannibalism."-- Bernard J. Hibbits
For every credibility gap, there is a gullibility fill.-- R. Clopton
"It is a man's own mind, not his enemy or foe, that lures him to evil ways."-- Buddha
"Virtual" means never knowing where your next byte is coming from.
All New: The software is not compatible with any previous version.
Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.-- Kin Hubbard
"If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist it's another nonconformist who doesn't conform to the prevailing standards of nonconformity."
Arguing with an engineer is like wrestling with a pig in mud. After a while, you realise the pig is enjoying it.-- Jamie Lawrence
Ralph's Observation: It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize that you are in a hurry.
Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
Theology is never any help; it is searching in a dark cellar at midnight for a black cat that isn't there.
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.-- Woody Allen
Why am I so soft in the middle when the rest of my life is so hard?-- Paul Simon
Ad: Vacation special: Have your home exterminated. Get rid of aunts.
Remember: Silly is a state of Mind, Stupid is a way of Life.-- Dave Butler
"Sometimes the need to mess with their heads outweighs the millstone of humiliation."-- Fox Mulder (The X-Files)
"If you ever have a free moment, you might consider checking out the travel brochures for the town in which you live. You might be amazed. You might not want to live there anymore."-- Douglas Coupland
An intellectual is someone whose mind watches itself.-- Albert Camus
"The learned fool writes his nonsense in better language than the unlearned, but still 'tis nonsense."-- Benjamin Franklin
"Without freedom from the past, there is no freedom at all, because the mind is never new, fresh, innocent."
Remember, it takes 42 muscles to frown, but only 4 to extend your middle finger and tell someone to "bite me!"
The greatest possible mint of style is to make the words absolutely disappear into the thought.-- Nathaniel Hawthorne
Progress might have been all right once, but it has gone on too long.-- Ogden Nash
Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired-- Robert Frost
Commitment can be illustrated by a breakfast of ham and eggs. The chicken was involved; the pig was committed.
Most of society's arguments are kept alive by a failure to acknowledge nuance. We tend to generate false dichotomies, then try to argue one point using two entirely different sets of assumptions, like two tennis players trying to win a match by hitting beautifully executed shots from either end of separate tennis courts.-- Tim Minchin
"I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours."
Taking me seriously is a big mistake. I certainly wouldn't.-- Ani Difranco
Love your enemies: they'll go crazy trying to figure out what you're up to.
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.-- James Branch Cabell
Education's purpose is to replace an open mind with a full one.-- David Nestor
A committee is an alley down which good ideas are lead and quietly strangled
"Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities"
Law of Hydrodynamics: When a body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Come to think of it, there are already a million monkeys on a million typewriters, and Usenet is nothing like Shakespeare.-- Blair Houghton
Creative minds always have been known to survive any kind of bad training.-- Anna Freud
Any sufficiently optimistic statement is indistinguishable from sarcasm.
This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with RAISINS in it.-- Dorothy Parker
It's a mistake to underestimate the human capacity for self-delusion.-- Robert Park
355/113 -- Not the famous irrational number PI, but an incredible simulation.
A Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer is to computing what a McDonalds Certified Food Specialist is to fine cuisine.
"I picked up a Magic 8-Ball the other day and it said 'Outlook not so good.' I said, 'Sure, but Microsoft still ships it.'"
"A conservative is someone who admires radicals a century after they're dead."
I might repeat to myself slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound - if I can remember any of the damn things.-- Dorothy Parker
The herd instinct among economists makes sheep look like independent thinkers.
I'm opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.-- Mark Twain
Creepy music coming from a cemetery should always be investigated more closely.
Pedestrian, n: The variable (and audible) part of the roadway for an automobile.
I don't say we all ought to misbehave, but we ought to look as if we could.-- Orson Welles
Every man is a damn fool for at least five minutes every day; wisdom consists of not exceeding the limit.-- Elbert Hubbard
Lecture, n: Where the notes of the professor become the notes of the student without passing through the mind of either one.
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.-- Albert Einstein
"Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind."-- Terry Pratchett
The right half of the brain controls the left half of the body. This means that only left handed people are in their right mind.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.-- Earl Wilson
On-line, adj: The idea that a human being should always be accessible to a computer.
"I have learnt silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet strange, I am ungrateful to these teachers."-- Kahlil Gibran
"Suffering for your art is most definitely overrated but I do get a certain, I don't know, satisfaction from being able to deal with my paranoia and insecurity."-- Beth Gibbons
Human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind.-- William James
It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.-- Aristotle
A sufficiently optimistic statement is indistinguishable from social sycophancy.
To in good days say "look what i've reached"
and on bad days say "why was this done to me"
..is mighty disproportionate.
Mia Wallace: "Pretty smart."
Vincent Vega: "Yeah, I got my moments." (Pulp Fiction)
The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair.-- Douglas Adams (The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy)