randomsearchproposestats
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Our families have values, but our government doesn't.
-- Bill Clinton (Democratic National Convention, 1992)
The reason I'm going to miss Bill Clinton is that watching him these past eight years has given me the same unbridled, childlike joy as watching a cartoon. Clinton was our first cartoon president. He ran off cliffs, was crushed by anvils and flattened by turn-of-the-century trains. Yet moments later, we always saw him, just like Wile E. Coyote or Daffy Duck, completely reassembled and eagerly pursuing his next crazy scheme. Essentially, people love cartoon characters because they cannot be hurt. They defy the rules of Greek tragedy. Clinton, unlike Richard Nixon or Lyndon Johnson, was not undone by his flaws. Whenever the smoke cleared, Clinton remained standing, covered in soot and looking at us slightly chagrined. ... [T]he irony of Bill Clinton is that he may have felt our pain, but we didn't feel his. We just listened joyously for which funny sound he'd make as he bounced happily off the canyon floor.
-- Conan O'Brien ('What I'll Miss About Bill Clinton,'' in the 08 Jan 2001 "Time" magazine.)
It's strange that men should take up crime when there are so many legal ways to be dishonest.
-- Sunshine magazine
I tried marijuana once. I did not inhale.
-- William J. Clinton
Sometimes before bed, I look in the mirror and wonder just what I'll be doing in ten years. Then I look at the clock and think, 'Probably flossing.'
-- April Van Scherpe
The future exists first in the imagination, then in the will, then in reality.
"If there is one thing that always comes out of a terrible tragedy, it is really dumb legislation."
(Esquire magazine)
"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked.'"
-- Jerry Seinfeld
Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder.
Patience is something you admire greatly in the driver behind you but not in the one ahead of you.
A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit.
(PS magazine (August 1993) the Army's magazine of preventive maintenance)
"I told you I was sick."
(from a tombstone in the U.K.)
A bird in the hand is the best way to eat chicken.
Half of the people in the world are below average.
"Nothing in the world is friendlier than a wet dog."
I don't know that atheists should be considered citizens, nor should they be considered patriots. This is one nation under God.
-- George Bush ("Free Inquiry" magazine, fall 1988)
God help us... We're in the hands of engineers.
(Jurassic park)
At Group L, Stoffel oversees six first-rate programmers, a managerial challenge roughly comparable to herding cats.
(The Washington Post Magazine, June 9, 1985)
"If you speak the truth, have a foot in the stirrup."
(Turkish proverb)
I'm extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end.
Linda Emery: A philosophy major? Now, what can you do with a philosophy major?
Bruce Lee: You can think deep thoughts about being unemployed.
(Dragon)
Scientists still know less about what attracts men than they do about what attracts mosquitoes.
-- Dr. Joyce Brothers ("What Every Woman Should Know About Men")
Adult: A person that has stopped growing at both ends but not in the middle.