randomsearchproposestats
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"Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise. Seek what they sought"
-- Basho

All your base pairs are belong to us

Every creator painfully experiences the chasm between his inner vision and its ultimate expression.
-- Isaac Bashevis Singer

"Linux is free as in Syphilis"
(slashdot)

Life is too short not to be horny on main

The voters have spoken, the bastards...

Progress might have been all right once, but it has gone on too long.
-- Ogden Nash

Try to relax and enjoy the crisis.
-- Ashleigh Brilliant

I have an IQ of 150, if that's worth anything.
-- Zak May
We use base 10 numerical representations in this country, not base 6.

-- Melinda Shore

Those who do not remember history are doomed to sound silly.
-- Carole Ashmore

There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.

* St-Lemur puts pasta next to antipasti
<KCaesar> You FOOL! You'll kill us all!

(bash.org)

God must love assholes--she made so many of them.

find / -name '*your_base*' -exec chown us.us {} \;

"I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch."
-- Gilda Radner

Headline: Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

The avalanche has already started. It is too late for the pebbles to vote.
-- Ambassador Kosh

"All I want is a warm bed and a kind word and unlimited power."
-- Ashleigh Brilliant

"I may not be totally perfect, but parts of me are excellent."
-- Ashleigh Brilliant

Children aren't happy without something to ignore,
And that's what parents were created for.

-- Ogden Nash

Did you ever notice that 'love' spelled backwards is 'evil'? Well, not exactly, but it's still pretty scary.
-- Ben Bass

"If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly."
-- Ashleigh Brilliant

"I don't have any solution, but I certainly admire the problem."
-- Ashleigh Brilliant

You should have quit while you were only slighly behind.

My sources are unreliable, but their information is fascinating.
-- Ashleigh Brilliant

The time for action is past! Now is the time for senseless bickering!
-- Ashleigh Brilliant

Sign on an electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts"

May a Misguided Platypus lay its Eggs in your Jockey Shorts.

"And if you give us any more trouble, I shall visit you in the small hours and put a bat up your nightdress."
-- Basil Fawlty

I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
-- Solomon Short

The law should make men free. The problem is making the law free.

"Please don't lie to me, unless you're absolutely sure I'll never find out the truth."
-- Ashleigh Brilliant

They came. They saw. They did a little shopping.
(Graffiti on the Berlin Wall shortly after it opened)

Those who say money can't buy happiness don't know where to shop.

Strangely enough, this is the past that somebody in the future is longing to go back to.
-- Ashleigh Brilliant

"By doing just a little every day, I can gradually let the task completely overwhelm me."
-- Ashleigh Brilliant

When in danger, when in doubt,
run in circles, scream and shout.

When in trouble, when in doubt,
run in circles, scream and shout

PMS, n: the short period of time when women act like men do all the time.

"Government is not reason, it is not eloquence, it is force; like fire, a troublesome servant and a fearful master. Never for a moment should it be left to irresponsible action."
-- George Washington

"It's good to know that if I behave strangely enough, society will take full responsibility for me."
-- Ashleigh Brilliant

Ignoranus, n: A person who is not only ignorant, but an asshole to boot.

I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree.
Perhaps, unless the billboards fall
I'll never see a tree at all.

-- Ogden Nash

The way to a man's heart is through his stomach and up.
Nononono. fourth and fifth ribs. Cleaner, too...

-- Two girls, HPslash

Grasshoppotamus: A creature that can leap to tremendous heights, once.

All warfare is based on deception.
-- Sun Tzu (The Art of War)

Conservative: a man who believes nothing should be done for the first time.

Those who speak by the yard and think by the inch should be kicked by the foot.

"You should be kissed, and often, and by someone who knows how."
(Gone With the Wind)

Unfortunately, there are like five people in the world who understand the X keyboard model--I'm not one of them--and three are insane. It's that bad.
-- Tim Showalter

Creepy music coming from a cemetery should always be investigated more closely.

My life has a superb cast but I can't figure out the plot.
-Ashleigh Brilliant

Maybe that explains Perl: Larry Wall let a kitten have its way with the bash, sed, and expr doc, then implemented the result.
-- Jay Maynard

"The degree of normality in a database is inversely proportional to that of its DBA"

On-line, adj: The idea that a human being should always be accessible to a computer.