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Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.-- Marianne Williamson (A Return to Love)
It is better to have loved and lost than to have hated and won.
"We come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person, perfectly."
Never try to lick a glacier.
It's been lovely, but I have to scream now.
I do not think that any civilization can be called complete until it has progressed from sophistication to unsophistication, and made a conscious return to simplicity of thinking and living.-- Lin Yutang
If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.
We accept the love we think we deserve
The sun is like breasts - risky to look at unless you've got sunglasses.
"One good turn gets most of the blankets"
"Anger is natural. It's part of the force. You just have to learn to hang out with it."-- Tori Amos
I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there.-- Fred Allen
What I am saying is that gay is good because it is, not because we can't help it. Love is good because it's love, not because we can't choose to love in any other fashion.-- Cory Kerens
When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
You're never too old to learn something stupid.
"It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them."-- Fred Adler
At the beginning and at the end of love, the two lovers are embarrassed to find themselves alone.-- La Bruyere
God must love assholes--she made so many of them.
"The most merciful thing in the world...is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents."-- H.P. Lovecraft
I'd love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.
It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.-- Alfred Adler
There must be more to life than sitting there wondering if there is more to life.
"Not a Morning Person" doesn't even begin to cover it.
Headline: Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
"People think love is an emotion. Love is good sense."-- Ken Kesey
Great Lover, n: A man who can breathe through his ears.
The best way to get rid of worries is to let them die of neglect.
The definition of a beautiful woman is one who loves me.-- Sloan Wilson
Headline: Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One
They say it's never too late to learn to play the piano, but at 2 am, I really wish my roommate would quit and go to bed.-- Nathan Hansar
"No one gets too old to learn a new way of being stupid."
"Don't apply a Star Trek solution to a Babylon 5 problem."
"You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her."
I don't say we all ought to misbehave, but we ought to look as if we could.-- Orson Welles
We have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another.-- Jonathan Swift
Politics is like coaching a football team. You have to be smart enough to understand the game but not smart enough to lose interest.
"Singing is a trick to get people to listen to music for longer than they would ordinarily."-- David Byrne
The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand.
We listen to reply.
Aquadextrous, adj: Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")
“How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.”-- Anais Nin
"No one has ever loved anyone the way everyone wants to be loved."-- Mignon McLaughlin
"Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live. It is asking other people to live as one wishes to live."-- Oscar Wilde
Men are like a fine wine.
They start out as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the living shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.
Maybe love is letting people be just what they want to be. The door always must be left unlocked.
Basically, to learn Unix you learn to understand and apply a small set of key ideas and achieve expertise by expanding both the set of ideas and your ability to apply them-- Paul Murphy
For a man to truly understand rejection, he must first be ignored by a cat.
Experience is what causes a person to make new mistakes instead of old ones.
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.-- Voltaire
"We create an environment where it is alright to hate, to steal, to cheat, and to lie if we dress it up with symbols of respectability, dignity and love."-- Whitney Moore
"O human race, born to fly upward, wherefore at a little wind dost thou so fall?"-- Dante Alighieri
"The fickleness of the women whom I love is only equalled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me."-- George Bernard Shaw
"It is better to be quotable than to be honest."-- Tom Stoppard
Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.-- Confucius
If you're going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now.-- Marie Osmond
"The greatest happiness of life it the conviction that we are loved, loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves."-- Victor Hugo
It is better to be hated for what one is than loved for what one is not.-- Andre Gide
"Ahh, Mr. Scott, I understand you're having difficulty with the warp drive. How much time do you require for repair?"
"There's nothing wrong with the bloody thing!"
"Mr. Scott, if we return to Spacedock, the assassins will surely find a way to dispose of their incriminating footwear, and we will never see the captain, or Dr. McCoy, alive again"
"Could take weeks, sir"
"Thank you, Mr. Scott"-- Spock and Scotty (Star Trek VI)
The course of true love never did run smooth.-- Shakespeare
Law of Cat Motion:
A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.
"There are two tragedies in life. One is to lose your heart's desire. The other is to gain it."-- George Bernard Shaw
"When you smiled you had my undivided attention. When you laughed you had my urge to laugh with you. When you cried you had my urge to hold you. When you said you loved me, you had my heart forever."
Eat a live toad in the morning, and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
'The whole world loves a lover' is an interesting theory, but a very bad legal defense.-- Keith Sullivan
It is better to waste one's youth, than to do nothing at all with it.-- Courteline
"There are very few people who are not ashamed of having been in love when they no longer love each other."-- La Rouchefoucauld
I love you, you love me,
With a little fricassee
And some mustard and ketchup smeared all over you,
Can't I have you for lunch too?
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.
"Unrequited love. It's fantastic! It never has to change, it never has to grow up, it never has to die."-- Vince Tyler (Queer as Folk)
“Our culture has accepted two huge lies. The first is that if you disagree with someone’s lifestyle, you must fear or hate them. The second is that to love someone means you agree with everything they believe or do. Both are nonsense. You don’t have to compromise convictions to be compassionate.”-- Rick Warren
Books: A controlled hallucinogen known to regularly cause people to imagine things that are not really there.
"It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends upon his not understanding it."
Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is.-- Francis Bacon
"You, my boy, if you want to be a good pickpocket, need to learn how to tell a wallet from a maxipad."-- Jessica
Where there is great love, there are always wishes.-- Willa Cather
"The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn."-- David Russell
A great way for to lose weight is to eat naked in front of a mirror. Restaurants will almost always throw you out before you can eat too much.-- Frank Varano
Some people have a way about them that seems to say: 'If I have only one life to live, let me live it as a jerk.'
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
Brandolini's law: The amount of energy needed to refute bullshit is an order of magnitude larger than to produce it.
These lovers of esoterica seem to derive a great deal of intellectual satisfaction out of not quite understanding what they are doing.
"People are much more willing to lend you books than bookcases."-- Mark Twain
"In our minds, love and lust are really separated. It's hard to find someone that can be kind and you can trust enough to leave your kids with, and isn't afraid to throw her man up against the wall and lick him from head to toe."-- Tori Amos
The question is not so much whether there is life on Mars as whether it will continue to be possible to live on Earth.
I like the kind of people that can hold on to the the feeling they have after the song or movie ends.
I love stress because it's a whole lot better than depression.-- Drew Olbrich
"A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous."-- Ingrid Bergman
To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead.-- Bertrand Russell
"Every man is afraid of something.That`s how you know he`s in love with you;when he is afraid of losing you"
Friendship is Love without its wings. (l'Amiti� est l'amour sans ailes.)-- Lord Byron
I was not born to be forced. I will breathe after my own fashion. If a plant cannot live according to its nature, it dies; and so a man.-- Henry David Thoreau
Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.-- Douglas Adams
"Nothing is easier than to denounce the evildoer; nothing is more difficult than to understand him."-- Fyodor Dostoyevski
"The savage bows down to idols of wood and stone: the civilized man to idols of flesh and blood."-- George Bernard Shaw
Creative minds always have been known to survive any kind of bad training.-- Anna Freud
Religion has done love a great service by making it a sin.-- Anatole France
A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same.-- Elbert Hubbard
Live long enough to be a problem to your kids.
Subduction leads to orogeny!
Sixty minutes of thinking of any kind is bound to lead to confusion and unhappiness.-- James Thurber
The world is full of willing people; some willing to work, the rest willing to let them.-- Robert Frost
Art is the desire of a man to express himself, to record the reactions of his personality to the world he lives in.-- Amy Lowell
"We have to be able to criticize what we love, to say what we have to say, /
'cause if you're not trying to make something better, than as far as I can tell, you're just in the way."-- Ani Difranco
"You are so lovely."
"Yes."
"Yes! And you take a compliment, too! I like that in a goddess."
"Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems."-- Homer Simpson
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
Bathquake, n: The violent quake that rattles the entire house when the water faucet is turned on to a certain point.-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")
The applied mathematician can find the solution to any difficulty, whilst the pure mathematician can find the difficulty to any solution.
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.-- Douglas Adams
It's better to be silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.-- Abraham Lincoln
Education makes people easy to lead, but difficult to drive; easy to govern, but impossible to enslave.-- Henry Peter Brougham
I thought I was in love once, and then later I thought maybe it was just an inner-ear imbalance.-- Fraser (Due South)
It's so strange how out of nowhere parents can turn psychic. It's unnerving.-- Angela Chase
"They are wrong who say that love is blind. On the contrary, nothing - not even the smallest detail - escapes the eyes; one sees everything in the loved one, notices everything; but melts it all into one flame with the great and simple: �I love you.�"
Gina: "Isn't it customary for the suspect to leave the scene of the crime?"
Debra: "Definitely an amateur" (Empire Records)
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?-- Groucho Marx
"Love doesn't make the world go 'round. Love is what makes the ride worthwile."-- Franklin P. Jones
"Tiger got to hunt, bird got to fly;
Man got to sit and wonder 'why, why, why?'
Tiger got to sleep, bird got to land;
Man got to tell himself he understand."-- Kurt Vonnegut (Cat's Cradle)
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To err is human, to moo bovine.
"A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer."-- Robert Frost
The only valid censorship of ideas is the right of people not to listen.-- Tommy Smothers
"Time goes by so fast, people go in and out of your life. You must never miss the opportunity to tell these people how much they mean to you." (Cheers)
"Self-love is often unrequited."
Listen to the Mustn'ts, child.
Listen to the Don'ts.
Listen to the Shouldn'ts,
The Impossibles, the Won'ts.
Listen to the Never haves,
Then listen close to me--
Anything can happen, child
Anything can be.-- Shel Silverstein
Sometimes it's better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness.-- Terry Pratchett
To learn who rules over you, find out who you are not allowed to criticize
Intelligence appears to be the thing that enables a man to get along without an education. Education appears to be the thing that enables a man to get along without the use of his intelligence.-- A. E. Wiggan
Men look at women. Women watch themselves being looked at. This determines not only the relations of men to women, but the relation of women to themselves.-- John Berger
"To fall in love is easy, even to remain in it is not difficult; our human loneliness is cause enough. But it is a hard quest worth making to find a comrade through whose steady presence one becomes steadily the person one desires to be."-- Anna Louise Strong
Young men, hear an old man to whom old men hearkened when he was young.-- Augustus Caesar
Err. I'm visualising. I'm either really scared, or really turned on.
Or both. Maybe that's a typical reaction to Skud.-- Rebecca B. Gray
Love your enemies: they'll go crazy trying to figure out what you're up to.
"Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self."-- Cyril Connolly
Love ceases to be a pleasure, when it ceases to be a secret.-- Aphra Behn
The guests giggled, and floated down to the bottom of the garden to inspect the herbaceous borders, and snatch a quick snog before the crudities.-- Stephen Foster
"The decision to kiss for the first time is the most crucial in any love story. It changes the relationship of two people much more strongly than even the final surrender; because this kiss already has within it that surrender."-- Emil Ludwig
If God had meant for us to go around naked we would have been born that way.
"The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age."-- Lucille Ball
I think if you really like a girl you have to pay a lot of attention to her. But try telling that to those jerks on the jury.-- Dave George
PROGRAM, n.: A magic spell cast over a computer allowing it to turn one's input into error messages. v. tr.: To engage in a pastime similar to banging one's head against a wall, but with fewer opportunities for reward.
Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.-- Woody Allen
"It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets."-- Voltaire
"It's a small apartment, I've barely enough room to lay my hat and a few friends."-- Dorothy Parker
Everyone is entitled to my opinion.
"I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life; to put to route all that was not life and not, when I had come to die, discover that I had not lived."-- Henry David Thoreau ("Walden")
Ninety percent of the time things turn out worse than you thought they would. The other ten percent of the time you had no right to expect that much.-- Augustine
Wit is a form of arousal.
We challenge one another to be funnier and smarter.
It's high-energy play.
It's the way friends make love to one another.-- Anne Gottlieb
"Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim."-- Bertrand Russell
"If we do happen to step on a mine, Sir, what do we do?"
"Normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet in the air and scatter oneself over a wide area."
All your base pairs are belong to us
I like life -- it's something to do.
The future ain't what it used to be.
Take my word for it, the silliest woman can manage a clever man, but it needs a very clever woman to manage a fool.-- Kipling
There's old proverbs to suit about anything you want to do.
People often find it easier to be a result of the past than a cause of the future.
Sometimes I wish I had a knob to turn up the intelligence on the Internet. I have one on my monitor marked brightness, but it doesn't seem to work very well, does it?-- Bryan Manske
"We all suffer from the preoccupation that there exists ... in the loved one, perfection."-- Sidney Poitier
I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.-- Sara-Jane Linton
I'm a daughter of a minister and I love chasing the dark. That which is hidden. I like licking it like ice cream.-- Tori Amos
I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
"Did I love her? I thought so. But from my new vantage point I realize that love is nothing more than a messy conglomoration of need, desperation, fear of death, insecurity about penis size, and the self-involved, ego-driven need to college other people's hearts." (Human Nature)
"It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him."-- J. R. R. Tolkien
Don't talk to me about the public not being able to stomach the abnormal, man -- most people get too used to lying to themselves about anything uncomfortable at so early an age that they themselves are not a reliable source.-- Susan Juroff
"I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants."-- A. Whitney Brown
"A child does not have to be taught how to be happy or the ways of love. It is fear, hatred, & prejudice that have to be taught. And from the condition of the world we can see that unfortunately there are some very good teachers."-- Javan
"The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it."
"To call war the soil of courage and virtue is like calling debauchery the soil of love."-- George Santayana
Ask anything of men. Ask them to achieve wealth, fame, love, brutality, murder, self-sacrifice. But don't ask them to achieve self-respect. They will hate your soul.-- Dominique (The Fountainhead, by Ayn Rand)
"Our generation has an incredible amount of realism, yet at the same time it loves to complain and not really change. Because, if it does change, then it won't have anything to complain about."-- Tori Amos
Adult, n: One old enough to know better.
The first principle is that you must not fool yourself - and you are the easiest person to fool.-- Richard Feynman
Great art is as irrational as great music. It is mad with its own loveliness.
-- George Jean Nathan
"Ah! How sweet coffee tastes! Lovelier than a thousand kisses, sweeter far than muscatel wine! I must have coffee..."-- J. S. Bach
"Show me the books he loves and I shall know the man far better than through mortal friends."-- S. Weir Mitchell
Sexuality does not "turn on" at puberty and "turn off" at menopause. It is not a thing external, no matter how hard our culture teaches us to push it away. It is every bit as integral and fundamental the day you're born as it is the day you die.-- David Casti
We may begin to see reality differently simply because the computer ... provides a different angle on reality.-- Heinz Pagels
Do just once what others say you can't do,
and you will never pay attention to their limitations again.-- James R. Cook
We have no more right to consume happiness without producing it than to consume wealth without producing it.-- George Bernard Shaw
Life is too short not to be horny on main
Someone will try to honk your nose today.
I braved the contempt of my friends last week and ventured out to see "Bambi", the Disney rerelease that is proving to be a hit once again in the box office. I was looking forward to a gentle, soothing, late afternoon relief from the Washington Summer. Instead I was traumatized. As a psycho-sexual return to the horrors of early adolescence, it couldn't be more effective. For the first half-hour, you're lulled into an agreeable sense of security and comfort. Birds twitter; small rabbits turn out to be great conversationalists. Pop is what Senator Moynihan would describe as an absent father, but Mom's there to make you feel OK in the odd thunderstorm.
You make great friends, fool around on the ice, discover the meadow, generally mellow out. Then, without any particular warning, your mom gets shot, your voice breaks, huge growths start appearing on your head, and your peers start heading off into the clover with the apparent intention of having sex. Next thing you know, the forest burns down. If I were still eight, I think I'd prefer Rambo III."-- Townsend Davis
It is dangerous to let the public behind the scenes. They are easily disillusioned and then they are angry with you, for it was the illusion they loved.-- W. Somerset Maugham
You like ice cream. You like ice cream. You love it. You cannot resist ice cream. To resist is hopeless. Your existence is meaningless without ice cream.-- Ice cream van (Invader Zim)
There has been opposition to every innovation in the history of man, with the possible exception of the sword.-- Benjamin Dana
If you put a frog in a pot of boiling water it will jump to safety, but if you put that same frog in a pot of cold water and turn on the heat, it will stay and be scalded to death.-- Everett Dirksen
"Geologists know how to make the bedrock."
Headline: Miners Refuse to Work after Death
The chance of a lifetime is to be yourself.
"The Christian resolution to find the world ugly and bad has made the world ugly and bad."-- Friedrick Nietzsche
We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospection.-- Anais Nin
"To describe the beating of Egg Whites is almost as cheeky as advising how to lead a happy life."-- The Joy of Cooking
... Now you're ready for the actual shopping. Your goal should be to get it over with as quickly as possible, because the longer you stay in the mall, the longer your children will have to listen to holiday songs on the mall public-address system, and many of these songs can damage children emotionally. For example: "Frosty the Snowman" is about a snowman who befriends some children, plays with them until they learn to love him, then melts. And "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" is about a young reindeer who, because of a physical deformity, is treated as an outcast by the other reindeer. Then along comes good, old Santa. Does he ignore the deformity? Does he look past Rudolph's nose and respect Rudolph for the sensitive reindeer he is underneath? No. Santa asks Rudolph to guide his sleigh, as if Rudolph were nothing more than some kind of headlight with legs and a tail. So unless you want your children exposed to this kind of insensitivity, you should shop quickly.-- Dave Barry ("Christmas Shopping: A Survivor's Guide")
Remember, to be forewarned is to be forearmed, and to be forearmed is to be half octopus.-- Gene Smith
It's okay. Life doesn't have to be perfect. It just has to be lived. (Dexter)
Tell you what. When the vast majority of straight folks in this country learn how to have a private life privately, learn how to "just be themselves without telling it to everybody", why then I'll try to learn from them how to do the same.-- Elaine May
"I've begun to work with the extremes of my own personality, not with any shrink. It's real simple; I just observe... I observe when I feel like an idiot and I try to crack a joke. But I'm not an idiot; why do I need to see psychiatrists to see that. Fuck that. I'm not an idiot. I don't think it pays in a week or year for me. I don't want to live that way anymore."-- Tori Amos
'Be yourself' is about the worst advice you can give to people.-- Tom Masson
"Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell."-- Joan Crawford
And Zeus said to Narcissus, "Watch yourself."
Antidotes are what you take to prevent dotes.
Don't intterupt me when I'm talking to myself
I'm not doing this just to be weird.
Economics exists merely to employ economists.
"The disappearance of a sense of responsibility is the most far-reaching consequence of submission to authority."-- Stanley Milgram
The only way to amuse some people is to slip and fall on an icy pavement.
Those who love you are not fooled by mistakes you have made or dark images you hold about yourself. They remember your beauty when you feel ugly; your wholeness when you are broken; your innocence when you feel guilty; and your purpose when you are confused.-- Alan Cohen
Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired-- Robert Frost
"The thing that I'm into is the philosophy of the music. I love the surprise of things, the accidents--just the sound of a word, to try to express them in the best way, so that the emotion is totally revealed."-- Beth Gibbons
Advisor: The guy who told you how to screw up.
It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree.
Perhaps, unless the billboards fall
I'll never see a tree at all.-- Ogden Nash
Q: Why did the germ cross the microscope?
A: To get to the other slide.
It wouldn't matter a jot if Christina Aguilera claimed she loved Garbage. I'd still think she was a horrid little squirt.-- Shirley Manson
"Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh."-- W. H. Auden