102 hits
"It's a dog eat dog world, and I'm wearing milk bone underwear."-- Norm (Cheers)
"Time goes by so fast, people go in and out of your life. You must never miss the opportunity to tell these people how much they mean to you." (Cheers)
Argue not with Dragons, for thou art crunchy and go well with cheese.
I'm sure we can arrange an academic scholarship for Detritus. Troll cheerleaers would be nice: 'Two... four.... er.. many... lots'.-- Terry Pratchett (alt.fan.pratchett)
Rehab is for quitters.
"The poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese."-- G. K. Chesterton
To be understood is a luxury.
Hermits have no peer pressure.
Music Teacher's Door: "Out Chopin"
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.-- Steven Wright
Headline: 'Two sisters reunited after eighteen years at checkout counter'
Do unto others before they undo you.
Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.-- Will Rogers
As the cheetah said to the chameleon:
You can hide, but you can't run!-- Alan Williams
The herd instinct among economists makes sheep look like independent thinkers.
In case of emergency, speak in cliches.
The voters have spoken, the bastards...
"I don't use drugs, my dreams are frightening enough."-- M. C. Escher
Chef, n.: Any cook who swears in French.
Things will get better, despite our efforts to improve them.-- Will Rogers
I try to make computers say things like "You have 60 seconds to achieve safe distance".-- Terry Pratchett
"Loved by some, accepted by others and misunderstood by most."
Teacher's First Law of Grading Lab Papers: If an experiment has perfect results, the student has cheated.
Microsoft: Re-inventing the square wheel.
I have so little sex appeal that my gynecologist calls me 'sir.'-- Joan Rivers
If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?-- Will Rogers
"Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong answers."
Headline: Miners Refuse to Work after Death
It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.-- Emerson
"One person can trigger a million thoughts."
Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder.
God made us sisters. Prozac made us friends.
"Popcorn is good with Parmesan cheese. It makes much more of a meal. You get your grains, you get your dairy, it's hot food. It works, I'm telling you."
"Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind."-- Terry Pratchett
All that glitters has a high refractive index.
Of course, it is very important to be sober when you take an exam. Many worthwhile careers in the street-cleansing, fruit-picking and subway-guitar-playing industries have been founded on a lack of understanding of this simple fact.-- Terry Pratchett (Moving Pictures)
CChheecckk yyoouurr dduupplleexx sswwiittcchh..
Be the person you needed when you were younger.
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.-- Will Rogers
"A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything."-- Nietzsche
There was something - difficult to describe, when you've only got shoddy, post-modernist adjectives to work with - cheerfully revential in his manner, as if he had just seen the Messiah and remembered that the Messiah owed him twenty quid.-- Tom Holt ("My Hero")
"Art, like morality, consists of drawing the line somewhere."-- G. K. Chesterton
"Make lots of money", "enjoy the work", "operate within the law": choose 2-- Brian Anderson
"To describe the beating of Egg Whites is almost as cheeky as advising how to lead a happy life."-- The Joy of Cooking
The only valid censorship of ideas is the right of people not to listen.-- Tommy Smothers
A wolf in sheeps clothing needs professional help.
Life is cheap. It's the accessories that kill you.
Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
"Colleges are places where pebbles are polished and diamonds are dimmed."-- R.S. Ingersoll
Sometimes it's better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness.-- Terry Pratchett
"To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world."
"Any idiot can face a crisis - it's this day-to-day living that wears you out."-- Anton Chekhov
For animals, the entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks.-- Terry Pratchett
The singing wasn't particularly good. The only word the singer appeared to know was "la," but she was making it work hard.-- Terry Pratchett (Wyrd Sisters)
"Not a Morning Person" doesn't even begin to cover it.
Headline: Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Secret, n: Something you tell to one person at a time.
The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
You're about as accurate as an archer in a centrifuge.
I don't understand men, women, sheep, grass, or computers. Understanding is for those too weak to handle confusion.-- Stevie Ulrich
You don't have to think too hard while talking to teachers.-- J.D. Salinger
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.-- Rich Cook
"Good old days: Beer foamed and drinking water didn't."
"That must be wonderful! I don't understand it at all."
He who laughs last probably didn't understand the joke.
Don't you talk to me about progress. Progress just means bad things happen faster.-- Terry Pratchett
The Four Food Groups: Coffee, ice cream, beer and pizza.
Your powers are useless, I'm wearing tin foil underwear!
America was founded by drug smugglers -- rum was the drug, but smugglers nonetheless.
Most Gracious Queen we thee implore,
To go away and sin no more,
But if that effort be too great,
To go away at any rate.-- Lord Colchester