randomsearchproposestats
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Take my word for it, the silliest woman can manage a clever man, but it needs a very clever woman to manage a fool.
-- Kipling
Terror: A female Klingon with PMS.
You don't have to think too hard while talking to teachers.
-- J.D. Salinger
Cornflakes are not the innocent critters they seem!
-- Sterling Morrison
Hope is the feeling you have that the feeling you have isn't permanent.
The weirder you are, the better you have to be if you still want to get paid.
-- Ben Aveling
"Every man has his follies, and often they are the most interesting thing he has got."
-- Josh Billings
"As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand."

-- Josh Billings
Every silver lining has a cloud.
Deja moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
Nowadays, originality is the art of concealing your source.
Politics is storytelling. We just pick the one we like best.
Anti-paranoia is that eerie feeling that nothing is connected to anything else.
"You have not truly experinced Shakespeare until you have read it in the original Klingon."
-- The Klingon chancellor (Star Trek VI)
The world is full of willing people; some willing to work, the rest willing to let them.
-- Robert Frost
Calling George Bush shallow is like calling a dwarf short.
-- Molly Ivins
Indifference is the key when dealing with a narcissistic megalomaniac.
I have no problem dealing with reality, but as a lifestyle I find it too confining.
-- Lily Tomlin
It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.
-- Rod Serling
Decafalon, n.: The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
Behaviorism is the art of pulling habits out of rats.
-- O'Neill
I object to intellect without discipline; I object to power without constructive purpose.
-- Spock (Star Trek, "The Squire of Gothos")
Nothing is so smiple that it can't be screwed up.
Headline: Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Brevity is the soul of lingerie.
-- Dorothy Parker
After ecstasy, The laundry.
-- Zen Saying
Thy sky is falling...no, I'm tipping over backwards.
-- Steven Wright
Headline: Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
I'm offering you my body, and you're offering me semantics.
-- Caitlin Bree (Clerks)
"Making the simple complicated is easy. Making the complicated simple is brilliant."
Love is a verb, not a noun.
-- Clint Black
The cost of living is going up, and the chance of living is going down.
"I didn't want to come across as an industrial, snarling, Satan-singing entity"
-- Trent Reznor
You aren't appealing to my sense of voyeurism.
-- Stevie Ulrich
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
-- Mark Twain
Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.
-- Lily Tomlin
"We all know god invented liquor to keep the Irish from ruling the world."
(The Ghost and The Darkness)
Skinner's Constant (or Flannagan's Finagling Factor): That quantity which, when multiplied by, divided by, added to, or subtracted from the answer you get, gives you the answer you should have gotten.
'Write what disturbs you, what you fear, what you have not been willing to speak about. Be willing to be split open.'
-- Natalie Goldberg
On going to war over religion:
You're basically killing each other to see who's got the better imaginary friend.
I like the kind of people that can hold on to the the feeling they have after the song or movie ends.
I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.
-- Lily Tomlin
Everything ends this way in France, everything. Weddings, christenings, duels, burials, swindlings, diplomatic affairs -- everything is a pretext for a good dinner.
-- Jean Anouilh
"Life is pain. Anyone who says differently is selling something."
-- Westley (The Princess Bride)
It is better to waste one's youth, than to do nothing at all with it.
-- Courteline
"People are much more willing to lend you books than bookcases."
-- Mark Twain
The haunting fragrance of her mysterious perfume lingered with me long after the blinding sting of her pepper spray had faded.
-- Nick DeCamp
Headline: Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
The fun with white chocolate macadamia nut cookies is telling which white fatty substance is which. I can't.
There's a difference between knowing something and realizing it.
Headline: Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
Don't sweat petty things... or pet sweaty things.
"Geologists will date anything."
Schizophrenia beats being alone.
Adultery - two wrong people doing the right thing.
This world doesn't need fixing. It needs changing.
Perpetual motion, illustrated: Try putting a slinky on an escalator.
I was wise enough to never grow up while fooling most people into believing I had.
-- Margaret Mead
A witty saying proves nothing, but saying something pointless gets people's attention.
Table Snorkeling (tay' bul snawrk' ling), n: Frantic gesticulations when one bites into hot food and has to take in air to cool it off.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")
Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" until you can find a rock.
Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
Nothing true is popular, and nothing popular is true.
Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
-- Jules Renord