208 hits
"I'll take Fucking Clues for $200."
You're never too old to learn something stupid.
Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.-- Timothy Leary
"Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy."
Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
"No one gets too old to learn a new way of being stupid."
Don't intterupt me when I'm talking to myself
Machine learning, n: Automation of your biases
"To describe the beating of Egg Whites is almost as cheeky as advising how to lead a happy life."-- The Joy of Cooking
You can't make a program without breaking some egos.
Thinking: The talking of the soul with itself.-- Plato
Politics: Poly (many) - tics (blood sucking parasites)
"Good old days: Beer foamed and drinking water didn't."
"Making the simple complicated is easy. Making the complicated simple is brilliant."
The BEST part of waking up? Hitting the snooze button and going back to sleep.
Much learning does not teach understanding.-- Heraclitus
My goal is simple. It is complete understanding of the universe, why it is as it is and why it exists at all.-- Stephen Hawking
Baby-sitter, n: A teenager acting like an adult, while the adults are out acting like teenagers.
You go right on thinking that. Don't let reality stop you.-- dpm
The law should make men free. The problem is making the law free.
Television: the bland leading the bland.
You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you.
No, no, you're not thinking, you're just being logical.-- Niels Bohr
Is not that the nature of men and women--that the pleasure is in the learning of each other?
"We come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person, perfectly."
Auntie Em--Hate you. Hate Kansas. Taking the dog.-- Dorothy
Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.-- Paul Biron
To learn who rules over you, find out who you are not allowed to criticize
If I sit here and stare at nothing long enough, people might think I'm an engineer working on something.-- S.R. McElroy
Men are like parking spaces: the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.
"I'd like to meet the person who invented sex and see what they're working on now."
A good listener is usually thinking about something else.-- Kin Hubbard
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
Whoever said women don't like porn just isn't talking to the right women. Or showing them the right porn.
A leading authority is someone lucky who guessed right.
There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.-- Mary Little
When rats leave a sinking ship, where exactly do they think they're going?-- Douglas Gauck
Knowledge is often mistaken for intelligence. This is like mistaking a cup of milk for a cow.
The cost of living is going up, and the chance of living is going down.
Thinking of Maud you forget everything else. -- hack v1.0.3
Who was that Maud person anyway? -- nethack v3.1.0
In a cemetery:
"Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves."
"I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We've created life in our own image."-- Stephen Hawking
VIRGO (Aug 23 - Sept 22)
You are the logical type and hate disorder. This nitpicking is
sickening to your friends. You are cold and unemotional and sometimes
fall asleep while making love. Virgos make good bus drivers.
Subduction leads to orogeny!
"The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn."-- David Russell
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.-- Andre Gide
Thinking always of trying to do more brings a state of mind in which nothing seems impossible.-- Henry Ford
"Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy."-- Groucho Marx
Sixty minutes of thinking of any kind is bound to lead to confusion and unhappiness.-- James Thurber
"We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public."-- Bryan White
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.-- Carol Leifer
I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.-- Lily Tomlin
The older I get, the more I think you ever learn is either further subtleties, or further distractions.
Taking me seriously is a big mistake. I certainly wouldn't.-- Ani Difranco
"The beauty of religious mania is that it has the power to explain everything. Once God (or Satan) is accepted as the first cause of everything which happens in the mortal world, nothing is left to chance...logic can be happily tossed out the window."-- Stephen King
In a nonsmoking area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
The irony is that Bill Gates claims to be making a stable operating system and Linus Torvalds claims to be trying to take over the world.
Teacher's First Law of Grading Lab Papers: If an experiment has perfect results, the student has cheated.
There's a difference between knowing something and realizing it.
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.-- Oscar Wilde
"Tell him I've been too fucking busy - or vice versa."-- Dorothy Parker
Part of the difference of learning something by interest or necessity is how we file it, with what urgency, and how we think of it when we think of it again.
You don't have to think too hard while talking to teachers.-- J.D. Salinger
(After watching the movie, 2001: A Space Odyssey)
Isaac Asimov : "HAL's breaking First Law! He's breaking First Law!"
Carl Sagan : "So, strike them with lightning, Isaac."
I want to die like my grandfather, peaceful and in my sleep - not screaming like the other people in the car.
I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
Religion has done love a great service by making it a sin.-- Anatole France
Every silver lining has a cloud.
Schizophrenia beats being alone.
"One of the CIA's few endearing traits is its penchant for making headlines. It is the world's most fully headlined secret agency."
Life is what happens to you when you're making other plans.-- Betty Talmadge
"How many fingers am I holding up?" -- Kirk, making the Vulcan salute
"That's not very damn funny."-- McCoy (Star Trek III)
"I understand your question and the answer is 'You're thinking too hard.'"-- Jose Garcia
Basically, to learn Unix you learn to understand and apply a small set of key ideas and achieve expertise by expanding both the set of ideas and your ability to apply them-- Paul Murphy
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
Tell you what. When the vast majority of straight folks in this country learn how to have a private life privately, learn how to "just be themselves without telling it to everybody", why then I'll try to learn from them how to do the same.-- Elaine May
Who cares whether the glass is half full or half empty? Shouldn't the question be who's been drinking out of my glass?
Nothing true is popular, and nothing popular is true.
"Anger is natural. It's part of the force. You just have to learn to hang out with it."-- Tori Amos
"In no sense do I advocate evading or defying the law ... That would lead to anarchy. An individual who breaks a law that his conscience tells him is unjust, and who willingly accepts the penalty of imprisonment in order to arouse the conscience of the community over its injustice, is in reality expressing the highest respect for law."-- Martin Luther King
"Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words."-- Dorothy Parker
Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.-- William James
I'm always making a comeback, but nobody ever tells me where I've been.-- Billie Holiday
I like life -- it's something to do.
98% of us Americans are hard-working people. It's the other 2% that give us a bad reputation. Then again, we did elect them.
A philosopher is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. A theologian is the one who finds it.
Artificial Intelligence: the art of making computers that behave like the ones in movies.-- Bill Bulko
For most mothers, day care is a problem. I'm looking for night care, too.-- Cathy Crimmins
I'm a daughter of a minister and I love chasing the dark. That which is hidden. I like licking it like ice cream.-- Tori Amos
"You, my boy, if you want to be a good pickpocket, need to learn how to tell a wallet from a maxipad."-- Jessica
I believe I found the missing link between animal and civilized man. It is us.-- Konrad Lorenz
"All dogmas perish the thinking mind, especially ones you agree with."-- Adam Richardson
Carperpetuation (kar' pur pet u a shun), n: The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")
Accuracy, n: The vice of being right.
Wisdom is knowing what to do next; happiness is doing it.
"Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live. It is asking other people to live as one wishes to live."-- Oscar Wilde
"Well, let's just say, 'if your VCR is still blinking 12:00,you don't want Linux'".-- Bruce Perens
Destinesia: The act of entering a room and forgetting why.
One of the problems with learning that many teachers fail to see is that until you really understand something, any argument made out of that understanding context tends to be pretty useless.
[Perl] isn't a programming language, it's a thousand special case rules flying in close formation.-- Peter da Silva
"Worry is like a rocking chair--it gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere."-- Dorothy Galyean
Anti-paranoia is that eerie feeling that nothing is connected to anything else.
When in doubt, make a fool of yourself. There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot in the universe- So what the hell, leap.
"Almost any animal is capable learning a stimulus/response association, given enough repitition."
"Experimental observation suggests that this isn't true if double-clicking is involved."-- Lionel and Malcom Ray (scary devil monastery)
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
"Our wines leave you nothing to hope for."
The man who sets out to carry a cat by its tail learns something that will always be useful and which never will grow dim or doubtful.-- Mark Twain.
BASIC, n.:
A programming language. Related to certain social diseases in that those who have it will not admit it in polite company.
A passionate commitment to social justice is no substitute for knowing what the hell you're talking about.-- Thomas Sowell
"The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem."-- Theodore Rubin
"I learned a long time ago that you really have to demand what you want out of life."-- Amanda Firefox
"Men show their character in nothing more clearly than by what they find laughable."
Microsoft: Re-inventing the square wheel.
By working faithfully 8 hours a day you may eventually get to be a boss and work 12 hours a day.-- Robert Frost
Computer literacy is a contact with the activity of computing deep enough to make the computational equivalent of reading and writing fluent and enjoyable. As in all the arts, a romance with the material must be well under way. If we value the lifelong learning of arts and letters as a springboard for personal and societal growth, should any less effort be spent to make computing a part of our lives?-- Alan Kay (``Computer Software'', Scientific American)
"I think that happiness is when you can let yourself feel every emotion you want at any time instead of being a lying little fuck."-- Tori Amos
The goal of Computer Science is to build something that will last at least until we've finished building it.
A witty saying proves nothing, but saying something pointless gets people's attention.
"Penguins mate for life. That doesn't surprise me much because they all look alike. It's not like they're going to meet a really new, great looking penguin someday."
"There's nothing like desire to prevent the things one says from having any resemblance to the things in one's mind."-- Marcel Proust
Cloning is the sincerest form of flattery.
Thinking is not a panacea, but to paraphrase Gandhi, maybe it would be a good idea to try some.-- Jess Anderson
"The learned fool writes his nonsense in better language than the unlearned, but still 'tis nonsense."-- Benjamin Franklin
Please do not duck the next time the clue-by-four swings your way.-- Ben Browning
"The class was learning about some revolt in which some peasants had wanted to stop being peasants and, since the nobles had won, had stopped being peasants really quickly."-- Terry Pratchett (Soul Music)
The range of what we think and do is limited by what we fail to notice.-- R. D. Laing
Aftermath, n: The period following algebra.
Anything is good if it's made of chocolate.
Morris dancing is an exercise in fertility.
"Virtual" means never knowing where your next byte is coming from.
"The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if they foul up, there's no law against whacking them around a little."-- Porterfield
You don't stick a knife in a man's back nine inches and then pull it out six inches and say you are making progress.-- Malcolm X
“Optimism is a strategy for making a better future. Because unless you believe that the future can be better, you are unlikely to step up and take responsibility for making it so.”-- Noam Chomsky
There's a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on you.-- Silent Bob (Clerks)
You don't wanna get laid, man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you gotta talk to 'em. (Colors)
"I'm often silent when I'm screaming inside."
I'm not doing this just to be weird.
Serving drinks on aircraft causes turbulence.
The weirder you are, the better you have to be if you still want to get paid.-- Ben Aveling
The world that we have made as a result of the level of thinking that we have done so far, has created problems we cannot solve at the level of thinking at which we created them.-- Albert Einstein
When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office."-- Robert Frost
Hope is the feeling you have that the feeling you have isn't permanent.
"If we can dispel the delusion that learning about computers should be an activity of fiddling with array indexes and worrying whether X is an integer or a real number, we can begin to focus on programming as a source of ideas."-- Harold Abelson
Just as the whole is more than the sum of parts, the forest more than the tree and birds, so is mankind greater than the wanking of its nerds on slashdot.org.
"Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get money from it."-- Stephen Butler Leacock
The truth knocks on the door and you say, "Go away, I'm looking for the truth," and so it goes away. Puzzling.-- Robert Pirsig
"Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves."-- Carl Jung
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.-- Douglas Adams
The singing wasn't particularly good. The only word the singer appeared to know was "la," but she was making it work hard.-- Terry Pratchett (Wyrd Sisters)
It seems more people are bitten by new yorkers per year than by sharks.
More to the point, new yorkers can be anywhere, not being limited by water. Fear them.
It's only by NOT taking the human race seriously that I retain what fragments of my once considerable mental powers I still possess.-- Roger Noe
"Me, getting smart with you? How would you know?"
Nothing is so smiple that it can't be screwed up.
Seagull Manager: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps over everything and then leaves.
Adultery - two wrong people doing the right thing.
A wolf in sheeps clothing needs professional help.
Catapult: device for throwing cats long distances.
Headline: Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.-- Matt Groening
They say it's never too late to learn to play the piano, but at 2 am, I really wish my roommate would quit and go to bed.-- Nathan Hansar
There are only two kinds of programming languages: those people always bitch about and those nobody uses.-- Bjarne Stroustrup
We can only see a short distance ahead, but we can see plenty there that needs to be done.-- Alan Turing
You have to understand art all by yourself. It's not like television, where you look at it and it explains to you what you are looking at.-- Jim Halat
Almost everything alive is about some kind of balance. Heck, even a lot of things that are not alive are about balance. However, thinking a particular balance is the only balance is often a mistake.
"In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language."-- Mark Twain
The phrase *I* like is: "Code as if the next guy to read it is a raving psychopath who knows where you live."
Following that by passing out a sheet asking them to list their names and addresses is optional, but recommended.
-- improving code quality - lessons from the SDM
If you're not confused you're not paying attention.
Smile, it makes people wonder what you're thinking.
The secret of happiness is not getting what you want but wanting what you get.
I do not think that any civilization can be called complete until it has progressed from sophistication to unsophistication, and made a conscious return to simplicity of thinking and living.-- Lin Yutang
Decafalon, n.: The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
Before I came here I was confused about this subject. Having listened to your lecture I am still confused, but on a higher level.-- Enrico Fermi
Since before the Earth was formed and before the sun burned hot in space, cosmic forces of inexorable power have been working relentlessly toward this moment in space-time -- you receiving this fortune.
"Nothing in the world is friendlier than a wet dog."
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Eiffel Tower: The Empire State Building after taxes.
Emacs is a good operating system, but I prefer Unix.
IRC is not 'more than a toy'. It's LESS than... a belch on a windy day. IRC is a little ant exploring the inside of a microwave oven for all five seconds of its short, happy, exploding life."-- Kibo
Watching these guys trying to be wireheads is like watching old people fuck-- Mike Belt
It's easier to get forgiveness for being wrong than forgiveness for being right.
Faith is not being sure. It is not being sure, but betting with your last cent... Faith is not a series of gilt-edged propositions that you sit down to figure out, and if you follow all the logic and accept all the conclusions, then you have it. It is crumpling and throwing away everything, proposition by proposition, until nothing is left, and then writing a new proposition, your very own, to throw in the teeth of despair... Faith is not making religious-sounding noises in the daytime. It is asking your inmost self questions at night and then getting up and going to work... Faith is thinking thoughts and singing songs and making poems in the lap of death.-- Mary Jean Irion (Yes, World: A Mosaic of Meditation)
"Reality is the leading cause of stress for those in touch with it."-- Jack Wagner
Anticiparcellate (an ti si par' sel ate), v: Waiting until the mailman is several houses down the street before picking up the mail, so as not too appear too anxious.-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")
"'Stay' is a charming word in a friend's vocabulary."
A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.
Headline: Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
It's only fun if you can get in trouble for doing it.
There must be more to life than sitting there wondering if there is more to life.