Quotes

56 hits

Colorless green ideas sleep furiously.

Sleep deprivation is fun -- you see such pretty colors.

All colors agree in the dark.
-- Francis Bacon

You don't wanna get laid, man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you gotta talk to 'em.
(Colors)

When you look at someone through rose colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags.
(BoJack Horseman)

Chocolate chip icecream.

So many idiots, so few meteors.

Being in a nudist colony probably takes all the fun out of Halloween.

Most Gracious Queen we thee implore,
To go away and sin no more,
But if that effort be too great,
To go away at any rate.
-- Lord Colchester

"The worst thing about censorship is [deleted by censorship bereau]."

"Geologists will date anything."

Being called a poetess brings out the terroristress in me.
-- Audre Lorde

Donkey: a horse designed by a study team.

9 out of 10 doctors will agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.

Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

Mirth prolongeth life and causeth health.

"Geologists know how to make the bedrock."

Anything is good if it's made of chocolate.

Friendship is Love without its wings. (l'Amiti� est l'amour sans ailes.)
-- Lord Byron

The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
-- Gloria Leonard

I don't say we all ought to misbehave, but we ought to look as if we could.
-- Orson Welles

Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
-- Abraham Lincoln

'Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible.'
-- Lord Kelvin (President, Royal Society, 1895)

I believe I found the missing link between animal and civilized man. It is us.
-- Konrad Lorenz

Be wiser than other people if you can, but do not tell them so.
-- Lord Chesterfield

Then who's been going through my garbage?
-- Andrew Solovay
Usually we call it "reading your postings"; your terminology is so much more succinct, though.
-- Roger Klorese

I have so little sex appeal that my gynecologist calls me 'sir.'
-- Joan Rivers

We are all inclined to judge ourselves by our ideals; others by their acts.
-- Harold Nicolson

First Law of Dieting:
Sex has negative calories.

It's better to be silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.
-- Abraham Lincoln

Landing: a controlled mid-air collision with a planet.

X-Chromosome: A genetic double-cross that empowers women with the ability to bear children and reserves for men the right to be color-blind hemophiliacs.
(Cynic's Dictionary)

It is not difference which immobilizes us, but silence. And there are so many silences to be broken.
-- Audre Lorde

You don't stick a knife in a man's back nine inches and then pull it out six inches and say you are making progress.
-- Malcolm X

"Some songwriters wash their dirty linen in public. Tori Amos dries hers there as well."
-- Nick Coleman (on Tori Amos)

I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
-- Solomon Short

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
-- Abraham Lincoln

"Theory: when you have ideas. Ideology: when ideas have you."

What is the nature of God? His nature is entirely dependent upon the age or culture that has reinvented him.
-- Solomon Skink

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant "idiot".
-- Terry Pratchett ("The Colour of Magic")

"Our American professors like their literature clear, cold, pure and very dead."
-- Sinclair Lewis

There is no salvation in becoming adapted to a world which is crazy.
-- Henry Miller ("The Colossus of Maroussi", 1941)

"There are really not many jobs that actually require a penis or a vagina, and all other occupations should be open to everyone."
-- Gloria Steinem

I'm in love with a girl who doesn't even know I'm alive.

She thinks she got me with her long range rifle, but she missed.
-- Jonathan Colan

Too many errors on one line (make fewer).
(Apple MPW C compiler error message)

At a doctors office in Rome:
"Specialist in women and other diseases"

"You have not truly experinced Shakespeare until you have read it in the original Klingon."
-- The Klingon chancellor (Star Trek VI)

A collaborative project: one in which individuals participate voluntarily, cooperate freely, rotate authorship seniority and disagree amicably, working on projects of no forseeable use to anyone.

The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
-- Elizabeth Taylor

"Warning: Prosecutors will be violated."
-- Rhonda R.

"If pigs could vote, the man with the slop bucket would be elected swineherd everytime, no matter how much slaughtering he did on the side."
-- Orson Scott Card

"The orgasm has replaced the Cross as the focus of longing and the image of fulfillment."
-- Malcolm Muggeridge (1903-1990)

Eat a live toad in the morning, and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

I maintain that it is my studies of humanities subjects that have given me my analytical abilities and the empathy it takes to work on user satisfaction issues, and the enabling technology of computers is a minor nuts'n'bolts thing, overvalued as "education."
-- Roger Klorese

Dot: Do you think Scratchy'd like some cologne?
Fifi: We have "Obsession", "Repression", and "Ecstacy".
Dot: Do you have anything for beginners?
(Animaniacs; Survey Ladies)

College isn't the place to go for ideas.
-- Helen Keller