79 hits
"You, my boy, if you want to be a good pickpocket, need to learn how to tell a wallet from a maxipad."-- Jessica
Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock.-- Pablo Picasso
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
A wolf in sheeps clothing needs professional help.
"Psychoanalysis is confession without absolution."
Fortress: a female fort.
Music soothes the savage beast. ...unless it's polka.
Thinking is not a panacea, but to paraphrase Gandhi, maybe it would be a good idea to try some.-- Jess Anderson
No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.
Sometimes you have to bite people hard on the lip before they realize you're not kissing them, so keenly do they yearn for approval.-- Jess Anderson
Hermits have no peer pressure.
A GUI is to a command-line as a TV is to a book.-- Scott Hess
Music Teacher's Door: "Out Chopin"
Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty.
Jesus was killed by a moral majority.
If it wasn't for the optimist the pessimist would never know how happy he isn't.
Domestication is the enemy of romance.
On-line, adj: The idea that a human being should always be accessible to a computer.
Colorless green ideas sleep furiously.
America was founded by drug smugglers -- rum was the drug, but smugglers nonetheless.
Cat: Ethereal music wreathed in mystery.
We ignore truths for temporary happiness
I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.
I love stress because it's a whole lot better than depression.-- Drew Olbrich
Very few profundities can be expressed in less than 80 characters.
Remember, "y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural. "All y'all's" is plural possessive.
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.-- Erica Jong
"In America sex is an obsession; in other parts of the world it is a fact."-- Marlene Dietrich
The rich aren't like us, they pay less taxes.
It is man's natural sickness to believe that he possesses the Truth.-- Blaise Pascal
Classic art was the art of necessity: modern romantic art bears the stamp of caprice and chance.-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy."
Take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: No one to blame.-- Erica Jong
Recession: your friend loses his job. Depression: you lose your job. Recovery: Bush loses his job.-- Bill Davidsen
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
Don’t speak unless you can improve on the silence.
Life is cheap. It's the accessories that kill you.
"What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary."-- Richard Harkness
"Bother," said the Borg, "We've assimilated Pooh."
It's easier to get forgiveness for being wrong than forgiveness for being right.
"If angst were a popsicle, I'd be suckin' the stick."
It is surely a great calamity for a human being to have no obsessions.-- Robert Bly
A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.
"It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution."-- Oscar Wilde
You can be a professional without being constipated about it.-- David Keyser
It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.-- Emerson
'Impossible' tends to be an opinion rather than a fact.
"Don't keep a man guessing too long--he's sure to find the answer somewhere else."-- Mae West
"Making the simple complicated is easy. Making the complicated simple is brilliant."
Wisdom is knowing what to do next; happiness is doing it.
A leading authority is someone lucky who guessed right.
On going to war over religion:
You're basically killing each other to see who's got the better imaginary friend.
Never underestimate the falseness of a generalisation.
We all agree on the necessity of compromise. We just can't agree on when it's necessary to compromise.
-- Larry Wall
Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.
Your powers are useless, I'm wearing tin foil underwear!
The problem with reality is the lack of background music.
Only the good die young. Note the average age in Congress.
Dot: Do you think Scratchy'd like some cologne?
Fifi: We have "Obsession", "Repression", and "Ecstacy".
Dot: Do you have anything for beginners? (Animaniacs; Survey Ladies)
It's true that the French have a certain obsession with sex, but it's a particularly adult obsession. France is the thriftiest of all nations; to a Frenchman sex provides the most economical way to have fun. The French are a logical race.-- Anita Loos
Funny. All the wireless people seem to be the marionettes.
No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy.-- Henry Kissinger
Lecture, n: Where the notes of the professor become the notes of the student without passing through the mind of either one.
The Two Rules of Success: 1. Don't tell everything you know.
Acceptance Testing, n: An unsuccessful attempt to find bugs.