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Today was a really, really great day, on the "aaagh fuck me!" scale.-- Steve VanDevender
Jack Benny played Mendelssohn last night. Mendelssohn lost.
To be understood is a luxury.
"That must be wonderful! I don't understand it at all."
"You can best serve civilization by being against what usually passes for it."-- Wendell Berry
Stenderup's law: The sooner you fall behind, the more time you will have to catch up.
"The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree but hold hands."-- Alexander Penney
"Make lots of money", "enjoy the work", "operate within the law": choose 2-- Brian Anderson
"Man gazing at the stars is proverbially at the mercy of the puddles in the road."-- Alexander Smith
Smile, it makes people wonder what you're thinking.
Thinking is not a panacea, but to paraphrase Gandhi, maybe it would be a good idea to try some.-- Jess Anderson
Many of us spend half our time wishing for things we could have if we didn't spend half our time wishing.-- Alexander Woollcott
Never underestimate the falseness of a generalisation.
He who laughs last probably didn't understand the joke.
"It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends upon his not understanding it."
Your powers are useless, I'm wearing tin foil underwear!
Cashtration, n.: The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.
For practical purposes we have agreed that sanity consists in sharing the hallucinations of our neighbors.-- Evelyn Underhill
"The best education consists in immunizing people against systematic attempts at education."-- Paul Karl Feyerabend
"Loved by some, accepted by others and misunderstood by most."
"Men do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit playing."-- Oliver Wendell Holmes
The only good strategy is one that no one else understands.-- Tracy Kidder
�We have a saying, my people. �Don�t kill if you can wound, don�t wound if you can subdue, don�t subdue if you can pacify, and don�t raise your hand at all until you�ve first extended it.��-- Wonder Woman
Absent, adj: Exposed to the attacks of friends and acquaintances; defamed; slandered.
What part of "AWW C'MON, PLEASE??" don't you understand? (T-Shirt)
Never underestimate the human capacity for cognitive dissonance.
Mother is far too clever to understand anything she does not like.-- Arnold Bennett
"Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong answers."
The herd instinct among economists makes sheep look like independent thinkers.
Sometimes you have to bite people hard on the lip before they realize you're not kissing them, so keenly do they yearn for approval.-- Jess Anderson
"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be."-- Douglas Adams
There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX.
We don't believe this to be a coincidence.-- Jeremy S. Anderson
Too much of a good thing is wonderful.-- Mae West
"In America, through pressure of conformity, there is freedom of choice, but nothing to choose from."-- Peter Alexander Ustinov
For a man to truly understand rejection, he must first be ignored by a cat.
Saying that Java is better just because it works on all platforms is like saying anal sex is better just because it works on all genders
"At age 20, we worry about what others think of us.
At 40, we don't care what they think of us.
At 60, we discover they haven't been thinking of us at all."-- Ann Landers
There are many ways to define our fragile existence; many ways to give it meaning. But it is our memories that shape its purpose and give it context.-- Mohinder Suresh (Heroes)
There must be more to life than sitting there wondering if there is more to life.
Brain: Are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: Uhh, yeah, Brain, but where are we going to find rubber pants our size?
Much learning does not teach understanding.-- Heraclitus
"Be kinder than necessary 'cause everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."
"It's a dog eat dog world, and I'm wearing milk bone underwear."-- Norm (Cheers)
"The spam wars are about rendering email useless for unsolicited advertising before unsolicited advertising renders email useless for communication."-- Walter Dnes / Jeff Wynn
If the brain were so simple that we could understand it, we would be so simple that we couldn't.
"It ain't the parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand."-- Mark Twain
Putt's Law: Technology is dominated by two types of people: Those who understand what they do not manage and those who manage what they do not understand.
"I wish I could drink like a lady
I can take one or two at the most.
Three and I'm under the table --
Four and I'm under the host!"
"The decision to kiss for the first time is the most crucial in any love story. It changes the relationship of two people much more strongly than even the final surrender; because this kiss already has within it that surrender."-- Emil Ludwig
"I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours."
One of the problems with learning that many teachers fail to see is that until you really understand something, any argument made out of that understanding context tends to be pretty useless.
I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.-- Confucius
The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand.
We listen to reply.
Patageometry, n: The study of those mathematical properties that are invariant under brain transplants.
"Friends don't let Friends drive Naked."
I don't want to be understandable. I want to be felt.-- Martha Graham
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.-- Groucho Marx
I don't understand men, women, sheep, grass, or computers. Understanding is for those too weak to handle confusion.-- Stevie Ulrich
Real programmers don't comment their code. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.
Please storyteller, pull a tale from your pocket,
Spin me a story from your coat-tails so bare,
For my heart has turned cold, and my dreams are too old,
And I need to know the magic's still there-- Heather Alexander (Storyteller)
"This site is intended for people over 18, but only because kids shoot each other if they hear the word 'fuck'."
"The shortest distance between two points is under construction."-- Noelie Alito
It's a mistake to underestimate the human capacity for self-delusion.-- Robert Park
If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.-- Dorothy Parker
The weirder you are, the better you have to be if you still want to get paid.-- Ben Aveling
These lovers of esoterica seem to derive a great deal of intellectual satisfaction out of not quite understanding what they are doing.
Scientists find wonder in everything, except extremely dull papers on quality assurance.
-- Telo (#xkcd)
"I understand your question and the answer is 'You're thinking too hard.'"-- Jose Garcia
The moment you think you understand a great work of art, it's dead for you.-- Oscar Wilde
The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.-- Albert Einstein