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Sanity is a cozy lie.
-- Susan Sontag

I plead contemporary insanity.

"In all our searching, the only thing we found that makes the emptiness bearable, is each other"
(Contact)

ERROR: Hit any user to continue

Interpretation is the revenge of the intellect upon art.
-- Susan Sontag

"The only interesting answers are those which destroy the questions."
-- Susan Sontag

Bullshit, in contrast to mere nonsense, is something that implies, but does not contain, adequate meaning or truth.

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
-- Calvin (Calvin & Hobbes)

Landing: a controlled mid-air collision with a planet.

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy

"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed."
-- Carl Gustav Jung

"Any synopsis of a good book is a stupid synopsis."
-- Michel Eyquem de Montaigne

"Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy."

Religion is probably, after sex, the second oldest resource which human beings have available to them for blowing their minds.
-- Susan Sontag

"The Ten Commandments contain 297 words. The Bill of Rights is stated in 463 words. Lincoln's Gettysburg Address contains 266 words. A recent federal directive to regulate the price of cabbage contains 26,911 words."
(Atlanta Journal)

"He who establishes his argument by noise and command shows that his reason is weak."

-- Michel de Montaigne

Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland: Rich and thick.
-- Samuel Beckett

"Competence, like truth, beauty and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder."
-- Dr. Laurence Peter and Raymond Hull

Brought to you by the people who made "out of context" a household word.

"When I play with my cat, who knows if I am not more of a pastime to her than she is to me?"
-- Michel Eyquem de Montaigne

Necessity is the mother of moral relativism
-- Momo (Questionable Content)

"Familiarity breeds contempt--and children."
-- Mark Twain

Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.

QUOTE OF THE DAY: `

"Those who control their passions do so because their passions are weak enough to be controlled."
-- William Blake

This sentence contradicts itself -- no, actually it doesn't.
-- Douglas Hofstadter

"She says control it, then she says don't control it, then she says you're controlling the way she makes you crawl."
-- Tori Amos ("She's Your Cocaine")

There is perhaps no phenomenon which contains so much destructive feeling as moral indignation, which permits envy or hate to be acted out under the guise of virtue.
-- Erich Fromm

"Reality continues to ruin my life."
-- Calvin and Hobbes

Economics exists merely to employ economists.

Hindsight is an exact science.

Language and its absurd conjunctions;
Constellations and crustaceans rhyme.

I need more tact. I never say anything I want to say very well. I'm even worse at what I don't want to say.

All colors agree in the dark.
-- Francis Bacon

Books: A controlled hallucinogen known to regularly cause people to imagine things that are not really there.

"Has anyone ever told you you have a SERIOUS impulse control problem?"
-- Riddler (Batman Forever)

"Reading maketh a full man, conference a ready man, and writing an exact man."
-- Francais Bacon

Study the past, if you would divine the future.
-- Confucius

Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without.
-- Confucius

The question is not so much whether there is life on Mars as whether it will continue to be possible to live on Earth.

All of the books in the world contain no more information than is broadcast as video in a single large American city in a single year. Not all bits have equal value.
-- Carl Sagan

You will continue to suffer if you have an emotional reaction to everything that is said to you. True power is sitting back and observing things with logic. True power is restraint. If words control you that means everyone else can control you. Breathe and allow things to pass.

Good art is not what it looks like, but what it does to us.
-- Roy Adzak ("Contemporary Artists," 1977)

Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
-- Abraham Lincoln

Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance.
-- Confucius

Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty.

Politics: strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles.
-- Ambrose Bierce

"If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough."
-- Mario Andretti

Fungus is actually alive. Be afraid.

The right half of the brain controls the left half of the body. This means that only left handed people are in their right mind.

"When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everybody will respect you."
-- Lao-Tzu

"That's the good thing about dying; when you've nothing to lose, you can run any risk you want."
(Montag, Fahrenheit 451, Ray Bradbury)

Sanity is madness put to good use.
-- George Santayana

There is a superstition in avoiding superstition.
-- Francis Bacon

I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.
-- Confucius

Fanaticism consists of redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim.
-- George Santayana

If practice makes perfect and nobody's perfect, why practice?

Lies, damned lies and user documentation.

Absent, adj: Exposed to the attacks of friends and acquaintances; defamed; slandered.

Computer literacy is a contact with the activity of computing deep enough to make the computational equivalent of reading and writing fluent and enjoyable. As in all the arts, a romance with the material must be well under way. If we value the lifelong learning of arts and letters as a springboard for personal and societal growth, should any less effort be spent to make computing a part of our lives?
-- Alan Kay (``Computer Software'', Scientific American)

"That for which we find words is something already dead in our hearts. There is always a kind of contempt in the act of speaking."
-- Nietzsche (The Twighlight of the Idols)

Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.
-- Confucius

In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.

We are continually faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems.
-- John Gardner

Acute Angle: A very attractive early Briton.

"Life forms... You tiny little life forms... You precious little life forms... Where are you?"
-- Data, singing and playing the control pannel like a musical instrument (Star Trek: Generations)

Come, let us retract the foreskin of misconception and apply the wire brush of enlightenment.

Rule of Feline Frustration: When your cat has fallen asleep on your lap and looks utterly content and adorable, you will suddenly have to go to the bathroom.

In the end, man is not entirely guilty — he did not start history. Nor is he wholly innocent — he continues it.
-- Albert Camus

Chicken Soup, n.:
An ancient miracle drug containing equal parts of aureomycin, cocaine, interferon, and TLC. The only ailment chicken soup can't cure is neurotic dependence on one's mother.

-- Arthur Naiman ("Every Goy's Guide to Yiddish")

"Men have fiendishly conceived a heaven only to find it insipid, and a hell only to find it ridiculous."
-- George Santayana

All that glitters has a high refractive index.

"The most merciful thing in the world...is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents."
-- H.P. Lovecraft

"Mankind will someday realize that we are actually in contact with the dead and with the other world, whatever it is; right now we could predict, if we only exerted enough mental will, what is giong to happen within the next hundred years and be able to take steps to avoid all kinds of catastrophes. When a man dies he undergoes a mutation in his brain that we know nothing about now but which will be very clear someday if scientists get on the ball. The bastards right now are only interested in seeing if they can blow up the world."
-- Bull (On the Road)

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

Headline: Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case

"Being a woman is a terribly difficult trade since it consists principally of dealing with men."
-- Joseph Conrad

Newton's Fourth Law: Every action has an equal and opposite satisfaction.

Facts are stupid things.
-- Ronald Reagan (1988 Republican Convention)

The moral of the story is that with a contrived example, you can prove anything. Oops. No, that's not what I meant to say.
-- Joel Spolsky

"The more corrupt the republic, the more numerous the laws."
-- Cornelius Tacitus

In art, as in no other form of endeavor, there is meaning apart from success.
-- Joseph Conrad

"Psychoanalysis is confession without absolution."

"True friendship is never serene."
-- Marie de Rabutin-Chantal

Skepticism, like chastity, should not be relinquished too readily.
-- George Santayana

Circumpopulate (sur kum pop' yew layt'), v: To finish off a popsicle "laterally" because the "frontal" approach causes one to gag.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

Bees are very busy souls
  They have no time for birth controls
And that is why in times like these
  There are so many Sons of Bees.

Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
-- Winston Churchill

2, 3, 3, 37 - the prime factorization of the beast.

If you're not confused you're not paying attention.

I was thinking of 'duh?' in the sense of 'a sentence containing several words more than three letters long, and possibly requiring general knowledge or a sense of history that extends past last Tuesday, has been used in my presense.'
-- Terry Pratchett (alt.fan.pratchett)

"Conviction is a luxury for those on the sidelines."

Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.

Ban the bomb. Save the world for conventional warfare.

"If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist it's another nonconformist who doesn't conform to the prevailing standards of nonconformity."

Marriage must incessantly contend with a monster that devours everything: familiarity.
-- Honore de Balzac ("The Physiology of Marriage," 1829)

Imagination grows by exercise, and contrary to common belief, is more powerful in the mature than in the young.
-- W. Somerset Maugham

Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is.
-- Francis Bacon

They are ill discoverers that think there is no land, when they can see nothing but sea.
-- Francis Bacon