111 hits
"Hope is a state of mind, not of the world. Hope, in this deep and powerful sense, is not the same as joy that things are going well, or willingness to invest in enterprises that are obviously heading for success, but rather an ability to work for something because it is good."
-- Vaclav Havel
Camels have 3 eyelids.
Hermits have no peer pressure.
"Theory: when you have ideas. Ideology: when ideas have you."
It is better to have loved and lost than to have hated and won.
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
The voters have spoken, the bastards...
Hope is the feeling you have that the feeling you have isn't permanent.
It's been lovely, but I have to scream now.
It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
I used to have a handle on life, then it broke.
Pulling together is the aim of despotism and tyranny. Free men pull in all kinds of directions. It's the only way to make progress.-- Havelock Vetinari
Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
I have a firm grip on reality. Now I can strangle it.
"Some people have a large circle of friends while others have only friends that they like."
The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears.
There are multitudes in me. But not if I have to behave.
You should have quit while you were only slighly behind.
I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.
I used to have an internal modem, but it made me walk funny.
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy
My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
When you don't have an education, you've got to use your brain.
Some people have a way about them that seems to say: 'If I have only one life to live, let me live it as a jerk.'
"Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong answers."
"You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses."-- Ziggy
Do not mock a pain that you haven�t endured
"Remember the Golden Rule: Those who have the gold make the rules."
At any time, at any place, our snipers can drop you. Have a nice day.
Ad: Vacation special: Have your home exterminated. Get rid of aunts.
It's okay. Life doesn't have to be perfect. It just has to be lived. (Dexter)
Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.-- Mae West
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
If God had meant for us to go around naked we would have been born that way.
"Healing takes courage, and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it."-- Tori Amos
"Are you queer? Maybe just for tonight? 20 minutes? You don't have to be conscious."
Stenderup's law: The sooner you fall behind, the more time you will have to catch up.
Those who say they 'sleep like a baby' haven't got one.
"Last week a cop stopped me in my car. He asked me if I had a police record. I said 'no, but I have the new Devo album'. Cops have no sense of humor."
Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge?
Where is the knowledge we have lost in information?-- T. S. Eliot
"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be."-- Douglas Adams
Murphy's Pharmaceutcal Law:
Only Adults have difficulty with child-proof bottles.
Like I've always said, If you don't have anything nice to say, come sit by me. (Steel Magnolias)
"Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self."-- Cyril Connolly
Truth is the most valuable thing we have. Let us economize it.
"Shouldn't we be carefully placing these comics in plastic bags?"
"No, we have lives." (MST3K)
"If I have any more caffeine, I'm going to end up running down the hallway naked." (Someone on Slashdot)
I like the kind of people that can hold on to the the feeling they have after the song or movie ends.
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.-- Mark Twain
Materialism: buying things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people that don't matter.
Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
Once in a while it really hits people that they don't have to experience the world in the way they have been told to.-- Alan Keightley
I have never seen anything fill up a vacuum so fast and still suck.-- Rob Pike (on X)
If God created us in his own image, we have more than reciprocated.-- Voltaire
"God help us both."
"We Lylmik will help you as best we can. You will have to coerce God yourself."
History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.-- Abba Eban
Dot: Do you think Scratchy'd like some cologne?
Fifi: We have "Obsession", "Repression", and "Ecstacy".
Dot: Do you have anything for beginners? (Animaniacs; Survey Ladies)
You can't have everything. Where would you put it?-- Steven Wright
People who claim they don't let little things bother them have never slept in a room with a single mosquito.
"I have so many different personalities in me, and I still feel lonely."-- Tori Amos
Progress might have been all right once, but it has gone on too long.-- Ogden Nash
I have so little sex appeal that my gynecologist calls me 'sir.'-- Joan Rivers
Sometimes you have more perspective than the situation, sometimes the situation has more perspective than you.
The fewer clear facts you have in support of an opinion, the stronger your emotional attachment to that opinion.
It is surely a great calamity for a human being to have no obsessions.-- Robert Bly
Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.-- Confucius
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.-- Groucho Marx
"I don't have to choose, nyaah, nyaaah, nah nyaah nyaah."-- Sandra Hereld
"You have all eternity to be cautious in when you're dead."-- Lois Platford
It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.-- Steven Wright
You don't have to think too hard while talking to teachers.-- J.D. Salinger
Creative minds always have been known to survive any kind of bad training.-- Anna Freud
Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.-- A. H. Weiler
Occam's eraser: The philosophical principle that even the simplest solution is bound to have something wrong with it.
"This space intentionally has nothing but text explaining why this space has nothing but text explaining that this space would otherwise have been left blank, and would otherwise have been left blank."
You rarely have time for everything you want in this life, so you have to make choices. And hopefully your choices can come from a deep sense of who you are.-- Fred Rogers
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.-- Elizabeth Taylor
"If we'd stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time."-- Edith Wharton
Religion is for people afraid of going to hell. Spirituality is for people who have already been there.
If common sense was so common then everyone would have it.-- Steve Giammarco
The weirder you are, the better you have to be if you still want to get paid.-- Ben Aveling
"Anger is natural. It's part of the force. You just have to learn to hang out with it."-- Tori Amos
"We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?"-- Bumper sticker
"If you do not think about the future, you cannot have one."-- John Galsworthy
Abortion is advocated only by persons who have themselves been born.-- Ronald Reagan
"Any girl can be glamourous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid."-- Hedy Lamarr
I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it.-- Edgar Allan Poe
"We desire nothing so much as what we ought not to have"-- Buddha
The man who strikes first admits that his ideas have given out.-- Chinese Proverb
It will be a great day when our schools have all the money they need, and the Air Force has to hold a bake sale to buy a new bomber.
I've always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific.-- Lily Tomlin
I have no problem dealing with reality, but as a lifestyle I find it too confining.-- Lily Tomlin
Speer's 1st Law of Proofreading: The visibility of an error is inversely proportional to the number of times you have looked at it.
Politics is like coaching a football team. You have to be smart enough to understand the game but not smart enough to lose interest.
"You don't have to suffer to be a poet. Adolescence is enough suffering for anyone."-- John Ciardi
Anybody who goes to see a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.-- Samuel Goldwyn
Technology is a way of organizing the universe so that man doesn't have to experience it.-- Max Frisch