randomsearchproposestats
53 hits
It's okay. Life doesn't have to be perfect. It just has to be lived.
(Dexter)
Ad: Vacation special: Have your home exterminated. Get rid of aunts.
Before Xerox, five carbons were the maximum extension of anybody's ego.
All that glitters has a high refractive index.
Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance.
-- Confucius
Rehab is for quitters.
Remember, it takes 42 muscles to frown, but only 4 to extend your middle finger and tell someone to "bite me!"
I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
"Life is a zoo in a jungle."
-- Peter De Vries
"I find imperfection the most interesting thing about a person"
-- Jodi Foster
Headline: 'Two sisters reunited after eighteen years at checkout counter'
Caffeine is not a substitute for sheep.
-- Peter da Silva
Coincidences are spiritual puns.
-- G. K. Chesterton
Cornflakes are not the innocent critters they seem!
-- Sterling Morrison
Terror: A female Klingon with PMS.
Aquadextrous, adj: Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")
Baby orang-otans look like surprised coconuts.
-- Terry Pratchett
Sometimes it's better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness.
-- Terry Pratchett
"It isn't premarital sex if you don't get married."
-- Michael Juster
"The poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese."
-- G. K. Chesterton
If the moon hit your eye like a big pizza pie, it might be amor�, but I'd be more worried about the interplanetary gravitational effects from this cataclysmic event.
-- Paul Paternoster
Sexuality does not "turn on" at puberty and "turn off" at menopause. It is not a thing external, no matter how hard our culture teaches us to push it away. It is every bit as integral and fundamental the day you're born as it is the day you die.
-- David Casti
'If you put butter and salt on it, it tastes like salty butter.'
-- Terry Pratchett (concerning popcorn, Moving Pictures)
Where all men think alike, no one thinks very much.
-- Walter Lippmann
War does not determine who is right, war determines who is left.
Censorship reflects society's lack of confidence in itself.
-- Potter Stewart
I was thinking of 'duh?' in the sense of 'a sentence containing several words more than three letters long, and possibly requiring general knowledge or a sense of history that extends past last Tuesday, has been used in my presense.'
-- Terry Pratchett (alt.fan.pratchett)
The voters have spoken, the bastards...
There is always a big future in computer maintenance.
-- Deteriorata (from the National Lampoon Radio Dinner album)
Don't you talk to me about progress. Progress just means bad things happen faster.
-- Terry Pratchett
"And then the world went mad. All right, madder."
-- Terry Pratchett (Pyramids)
Adult, n: One old enough to know better.
Cat: Ethereal music wreathed in mystery.
To some extent any use of language (and conceptual categories) distorts reality by coercing instances into types.
-- Rob Bernardo
"Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind."
-- Terry Pratchett
I try to make computers say things like "You have 60 seconds to achieve safe distance".
-- Terry Pratchett
Just because you're not paranoid, doesn't mean they're not out to get you.
-- The Register
"The murals in restaurants are on a par with the food in museums."
-- Peter De Vries
Cloning is the sincerest form of flattery.
Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant "idiot".
-- Terry Pratchett ("The Colour of Magic")
Beware by whom you are called sane.
-- Walter Inglis Anderson
Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.
-- Terry Pratchett (Hogfather)
"Art, like morality, consists of drawing the line somewhere."
-- G. K. Chesterton
Aftermath, n: The period following algebra.
Headline: Miners Refuse to Work after Death
"The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do."
-- Walter Bagehot
(A)bort (R)etry (T)oss computer across room?
God made us sisters. Prozac made us friends.
"In the Beginning there was nothing, which exploded."
-- Terry Pratchett (Lords and Ladies)
Don't intterupt me when I'm talking to myself
Be wiser than other people if you can, but do not tell them so.
-- Lord Chesterfield
This sentence contradicts itself -- no, actually it doesn't.
-- Douglas Hofstadter
The duke had a mind that ticked like a clock and, like a clock, it regularly went cuckoo.
-- Terry Pratchett (Wyrd Sisters)