randomsearchproposestats
35 hits
"He'd never realized that, deep down inside, what he really wanted to do was make things go splat."
-- Terry Pratchett (Reaper Man)
Eheu, horsum venit vir qui fert locustas!
[Uh-oh, here comes the lobster man!]
('Latin For Even More Occasions')
Take my word for it, the silliest woman can manage a clever man, but it needs a very clever woman to manage a fool.
-- Kipling
He was as shy as a newspaper is when referring to its own merits.
If you're going to tell people the truth, you better make them laugh.
Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock.
-- Pablo Picasso
Proof by omission: The reader may easily supply the details. The other 253 cases are analogous.
The public seems incapable of distinguishing between your garden variety idiot and your genuine lunatic. It is the same confusion the public has had over the last five Presidents.
-- Mark Leeper
Never moon a werewolf.
A popular man arouses the jealousy of the powerful.
-- Frank Herbert (Dune)
"Character may be manifested in the great moments, but it is made in the small ones."
-- Phillips Brooks
"I figured out why I'm not getting seriously rich. I write newspaper columns. Nobody ever makes newspaper columns into Major Motion Pictures starring Tom Cruise. The best you can hope for, with a newspaper column, is that people will like it enough to attach it to their refrigerators with magnets shaped like fruit."
-- Dave Barry
When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 per minute.
-- Steven Wright
NASA doesn't have any live weapons; we can only drop management paperwork on those who peeve us--but with a B-52 we can drop a lot of it!
-- Mary Shafer
I'm an apatheist. The question is no longer interesting, and the answer no longer matters.
-- petro (a.s.r)
My karma ran over my dogma.
Erotica is stuff that's meant to be read with one hand.
-- Carl Manz
"All the parts falling off this car are of the very finest British manufacture"
-- Bumper sticker
"Invest in America, Buy a Congressman."
-- Bumper sticker
"Out of my mind. Back in five minutes."
-- Bumper sticker
Where there's a will, I want to be in it."
-- Bumper sticker
So many idiots, so few meteors.
"I get enough exercise just pushing my luck."
-- Bumper sticker
"Make Love, Not War. (see driver for details)"
-- Bumper sticker
As the main says, it has yet to be proven intelligence has any survival value.
Whether it deserves some respect is another matter.
There is always a big future in computer maintenance.
-- Deteriorata (from the National Lampoon Radio Dinner album)
"God is my co-pilot, but the Devil is my bombardier."
-- Bumper sticker
He said "It's all in your head", and I said "So's everything" but he didn't get it /
I thought he was a man but he was just a little boy.
-- Fiona Apple (Paper Bag)
"In our minds, love and lust are really separated. It's hard to find someone that can be kind and you can trust enough to leave your kids with, and isn't afraid to throw her man up against the wall and lick him from head to toe."
-- Tori Amos
"Paper has a genius for multiplication that cannot be equalled anywhere else in nature."
-- Hugh Keenleyside
"The country has charms only for those not obliged to stay there."
-- Edouard Manet
"We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?"
-- Bumper sticker
Renning's Maxim: Man is the highest animal. Man does the classifying.
Bagdikian's Observation:
Trying to be a first-rate reporter on the average American newspaper is like trying to play Bach's 'St. Matthew Passion' on a ukelele.
Education, then, beyond all other devices of human origin, is the great machinery.
-- Horace Mann