135 hits
Accuracy, n: The vice of being right.
The chance of a lifetime is to be yourself.
In case of emergency, speak in cliches.
If the mind were exercised as much as the mouth, we would be a race of geniuses.
The very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common. Instead of altering their views to fit the facts, they alter the facts to fit their views ... which can be very uncomfortable if you happen to be one of the facts that needs altering.-- Dr. Who ("Face of Evil")
You can't spell evil without vi.
Given the pace of technology, I propose we leave math to the machines and go play outside. (Calvin & Hobbes)
The cost of living is going up, and the chance of living is going down.
Monday is the root of all evil.
Ass, n: The masculine of "lass".
Never send a monster to do the work of an evil genius.
"The essence of intelligence is skill in extracting meaning from everyday experience."
Luxury is the main cause of boredom; Boredom is a main cause of extreme thoughts, eg. violence.
That's what friendship means: sharing the prejudice of experience.-- Charles Bukowski
Peace is not the absence of war. Peace is the presence of a system for resolving conflicts before war becomes necessary. War never creates peace.
All good work is done in defiance of management.-- Bob Woodward
"The disappearance of a sense of responsibility is the most far-reaching consequence of submission to authority."-- Stanley Milgram
Music is the science of manipulating emotion through sound.-- Angus Gray
QUOTE OF THE DAY: `
Is not that the nature of men and women--that the pleasure is in the learning of each other?
Anything is good if it's made of chocolate.
In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.-- Mark Twain
We shame outselves for the sake of simplicity.
The advantage of emotions is that they lead us astray.-- Oscar Wilde
pride is not the opposite of shame, but its source
Because these moments, as precious as they are, they're evil when they're gone.
Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.-- H. L. Mencken
Most children grow up to be adults in spite of their parents, not because of them.
On the outskirts of every agony sits some observant fellow who points.-- Virginia Woolf
Pigslice, n: The last unclaimed piece of pizza that everyone is secretly dying for.-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")
In case of nuclear war, prayer in schools will be okay.
Destinesia: The act of entering a room and forgetting why.
I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.
Antisocial arrogance is only for those of us who deserve it.
We suffer primarily not from our vices or our weaknesses, but from our illusions. We are haunted, not by reality, but by those images we have put in place of reality.-- Daniel J. Boorstin
Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason than that of blindfolded fear.-- Thomas Jefferson
Part of the difference of learning something by interest or necessity is how we file it, with what urgency, and how we think of it when we think of it again.
More to be feared than ignorance is the pretense of knowledge.
"As soon as questions of will or decision or reason or choice of action arise, human science is at a loss."-- Noam Chomsky
The definition of easy work is work that someone else has to do.
The best way to get rid of worries is to let them die of neglect.
A real leader faces the music, even when he doesn't like the tune.
"It is a man's own mind, not his enemy or foe, that lures him to evil ways."-- Buddha
'The main reception foyer was almost empty but Ford nevertheless weaved his way through it.'
(Ford making his way out of Milliways whilst under the influence of enough alchol to make a rhino sing) (The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
"You assist an evil system most effectively by obeying its orders and decrees. An evil system never deserves such allegiance. Allegiance to it means partaking of the evil. A good person will resist an evil system with his or her whole soul."-- Mahatma Gandhi
The haunting fragrance of her mysterious perfume lingered with me long after the blinding sting of her pepper spray had faded.-- Nick DeCamp
Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea--massive, difficult to redirect, awe-inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind-boggling amounts of excrement when you least expect it.-- Gene Spatford
Always behave like a duck: keep calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle like the devil underneath.-- Jacob Braude
When you live in the shadow of insanity, the appearance of another mind that thinks and talks as yours does is something close to a blessed event.-- R. Pirsig
The more we disagree, the bigger the chance that at least one of us is right.
The experience of programming Windows vs the experience of programming NeXTStep is like going to the dentist and having a root canal without anaesthetic vs going to the dentist and having your gums cleaned with some nitrous oxide thrown in for the entertainment side of things.-- Bill Bumgarner
On an American Airlines package of nuts: Instructions: Open package, eat nuts.
People often find it easier to be a result of the past than a cause of the future.
Once a government is committed to the principle of silencing the voice of opposition, it has only one way to go, and that is down the path of increasingly repressive measures, until it becomes a source of terror to all its citizens and creates a country where everyone lives in fear.-- Harry S. Truman
Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
A medley of extemporanea;
And love is a thing that can never go wrong
And I am Marie of Roumania.-- Dororhy Parker
People want stories about things they can relate to: life and death, good and evil.
There is much to be said in favor of modern journalism. By giving us the opinions of the uneducated, it keeps us in touch with the ignorance of the community.-- Oscar Wilde
Rule of Defactualization: Information deteriorates upward through bureaucracies.
"Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get money from it."-- Stephen Butler Leacock
"The degree of normality in a database is inversely proportional to that of its DBA"
Manners are one of the truly lost causes.-- John Simon
How do you know if honesty is the best policy unless you've tried some of the others?
He who knows only his own side of the case knows little of that.-- John Stuart Mill
History, n. An account, mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.-- Ambrose Bierce
"The beauty of religious mania is that it has the power to explain everything. Once God (or Satan) is accepted as the first cause of everything which happens in the mortal world, nothing is left to chance...logic can be happily tossed out the window."-- Stephen King
The BeOS takes the best features from the major operating systems. It's got the power and flexibility of Unix, the interface and ease of use of the MacOS, and Minesweeper from Windows.-- Tyler Riti
Every human being is capable of everything, no matter how exalted or depraved. Without twenty years of diligent domestication, it is in our nature to commit genocide, infanticide, and canabillism. And drink beer and howl at the moon.-- Donna Barr ("Desert Peach: the Good Uncle")
"Any idiot can face a crisis - it's this day-to-day living that wears you out."-- Anton Chekhov
"No man chooses evil because it is evil;
he only mistakes it for happiness, the good he seeks."-- Mary Wollstonecraft
In business, your judged by what you say... nothing can kill the confidence of a perspective client faster then a proposal littered with grammatical, usage or punctuation errors. (Ad for RightWriter, The Grammar Checker)
"I love writing but hate starting. The page is awfully white and it says, 'You may have fooled some of the people some of the time but those days are over, *giftless*. I'm not your agent and I'm not your mommy, I'm a white piece of paper, you wanna dance with me?'"-- Aaron Sorkin
Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.-- Douglas Adams
Be one of those upon whom nothing is lost.-- Henry James
Mind you, the Elizabethans had so many words for the female genitals that it is quite hard to speak a sentence of modern English without inadvertently mentioning at least three of them.-- Terry Pratchett (alt.fan.pratchett)
"Some people have a large circle of friends while others have only friends that they like."
"The stone age was marked by man's clever use of crude tools; the information age, to date, has been marked by man's crude use of clever tools."
Come, let us retract the foreskin of misconception and apply the wire brush of enlightenment.
"The Ten Commandments contain 297 words. The Bill of Rights is stated in 463 words. Lincoln's Gettysburg Address contains 266 words. A recent federal directive to regulate the price of cabbage contains 26,911 words." (Atlanta Journal)
The course of true love never did run smooth.-- Shakespeare
Private faces in public places /
Are wiser and nicer /
Than public faces in private places.-- W.H. Auden
"It is a besetting vice of democracies to substitute public opinion for law. This is the usual form in which masses of men exhibit their tyranny."-- James Fenimore Cooper
I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.-- Sara-Jane Linton
"If you are a human being, you might as well face it. You are going to rub a lot of people the wrong way."-- Jane Wagner
The Pet Principle:
No matter which side of the door your dog or cat is on, it is the wrong side.
Seeing is forgetting the name of that which one sees.-- Paul Valery
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.-- Mae West.
Civil disobedience is not our problem. Our problem is civil obedience. Our problem is that numbers of people all over the world have obeyed the dictates of the leaders of their government and have gone to war, and millions have been killed because of this obedience... Our problem is that people are obedient all over the world in the face of poverty and starvation and stupidity, and war, and cruelty. Our problem is that people are obedient while the jails are full of petty thieves, and all the while the grand thieves are running the country. That's our problem.-- Howard Zinn
"Simple pleasures are the last refuge of the complex."-- Oscar Wilde
"Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative."-- Oscar Wilde
PHP is a minor evil perpetrated and created by incompetent amateurs, whereas Perl is a great and insidious evil, perpetrated by skilled but perverted professionals.-- Jon Ribbens
Traditionally, emotional and social problems have been judged as the moral shortcomings of an individual. Someone suffering from a psychiatric illness or an addiction is rarely viewed as a person who has a disorder or who is taxed by overwhelming circumstances. Instead the affliction is becomes a metaphor for a host of evils; it serves a testimony of the individual's unworthiness, a cause for condemnation.-- Ellen L. Bassuk ("Scientific American", December 1991)
An unrestricted satisfaction of every need presents itself as the most enticing method of conducting one's life, but it means putting enjoyment before caution, and soon brings its own punishment.-- Sigmund Freud
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.-- Woody Allen
A bit of tolerance is worth a megabyte of flaming.-- Henry Spencer
Remember: Silly is a state of Mind, Stupid is a way of Life.-- Dave Butler
"Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy."-- Groucho Marx
Interpretation is the revenge of the intellect upon art.-- Susan Sontag
Nobody's creepy from the inside, Hazel. Some of them are sad, and some of them hurt, and some of them think they're the only real thing in the whole world. But they're not creepy.-- Neil Gaiman
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.-- Niels Bohr
Clique: A group of insiders who greet outsiders with their backsides; a closed circle of asses. (Cynic's Dictionary)
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.-- Oscar Wilde
"God is my co-pilot, but the Devil is my bombardier."-- Bumper sticker
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.-- Groucho Marx
"Not all moderators and FAQ-compilers eventually become power-mad and insane. Some of them started out that way."
The range of what we think and do is limited by what we fail to notice.-- R. D. Laing
"Reality is the leading cause of stress for those in touch with it."-- Jack Wagner
It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.-- Emerson
Brandolini's law: The amount of energy needed to refute bullshit is an order of magnitude larger than to produce it.
Life moves on, whether we act as cowards or heroes. Life has no other discipline to impose, if we would but realize it, than to accept life unquestioningly. Everything we shut our eyes to, everything we run away from, everything we deny, denigrate or despise, serves to defeat us in the end. What seems nasty, painful, evil, can become a source of beauty, joy and strength, if faced with an open mind. Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it as such.-- Henry Miller
"If we can dispel the delusion that learning about computers should be an activity of fiddling with array indexes and worrying whether X is an integer or a real number, we can begin to focus on programming as a source of ideas."-- Harold Abelson