randomsearchproposestats
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The key is to commit crimes so confusing that police feel too stupid to even write a crime report about them.
-- Randy K. Milholland (Something Positive Comic, 2001-10-30)

I like life -- it's something to do.

You're never too old to learn something stupid.

A witty saying proves nothing, but saying something pointless gets people's attention.

Secret, n: Something you tell to one person at a time.

There's a difference between knowing something and realizing it.

Whenever you fall, pick something up.
-- Oswald Avery

"Pretty is something you're born with. But beautiful, that's an equal opportunity adjective."

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
-- T. S. Eliot

Patience is something you admire greatly in the driver behind you but not in the one ahead of you.

Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.
-- Carl Sagan

If I'm not always happy, that doesn't mean I'm doing something wrong. It means I am doing something real.
-- Laurie Seligman

A good listener is usually thinking about something else.
-- Kin Hubbard

The goal of Computer Science is to build something that will last at least until we've finished building it.

Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.
-- Fran Lebowitz

"It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends upon his not understanding it."

Bullshit, in contrast to mere nonsense, is something that implies, but does not contain, adequate meaning or truth.

Occam's eraser: The philosophical principle that even the simplest solution is bound to have something wrong with it.

Glamour is that indefinable something about a girl who has a large bosom.
-- Andy Rothman

Expecting something for nothing is the most popular form of hope.
-- Arnold Glasgow

Nothing true is popular, and nothing popular is true.

I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.
-- Lily Tomlin

"A successful tool is one that was used to do something undreamed of by its author."
-- S. C. Johnson

Don't lick something unless you really mean it.
-- Naked Dancing LLama (www.frolic.org)

Children aren't happy without something to ignore,
And that's what parents were created for.

-- Ogden Nash

Law of Refrigerator Observation:
If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat.

"Every man is afraid of something.That`s how you know he`s in love with you;when he is afraid of losing you"

'He says gods like to see an atheist around. Gives them something to aim at.'
-- Terry Pratchett (Small Gods)

Part of the difference of learning something by interest or necessity is how we file it, with what urgency, and how we think of it when we think of it again.

"Most people do not watch TV because they want to watch TV. They watch TV to relieve themselves of the burden of finding something actually enjoyable to do."

"Worry is like a rocking chair--it gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere."
-- Dorothy Galyean

If you're going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now.
-- Marie Osmond

"It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something."

Women treat us just as humanity treats its gods. They worship us and are always bothering us to do something for them.
-- Oscar Wilde

"Life is pain. Anyone who says differently is selling something."
-- Westley (The Princess Bride)

Just because something's toxic doesn't mean it's not tasty.
-- Matthew J. Siske

"See?" said the cat. "Give them an opposed thumb and they think they're something special."
-- Terry Pratchett (Moving Pictures)

When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty.
-- George Bernard Shaw

"Whenever I say something they find hard to hear /
they chalk it up to my anger and never to their own fear."

-- Ani Difranco (Pretty Girl)

Men are like a fine wine.
They start out as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the living shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

The man who sets out to carry a cat by its tail learns something that will always be useful and which never will grow dim or doubtful.
-- Mark Twain.

When you live in the shadow of insanity, the appearance of another mind that thinks and talks as yours does is something close to a blessed event.
-- R. Pirsig

[A] thing is symmetrical if there is something we can do to it so that after we have done it, it looks the same as it did before.
-- Richard Feynman

Relationships are like sharks, Liz. If you’re not left with several bite marks after intercourse, then something’s wrong.
-- Jenna