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Real Programmers never work from 9 to 5. If any real programmer is around at 9 a.m., it's because they were up all night.-- Some computer geek
(A)bort (R)etry (T)oss computer across room?
Guru, n: A computer owner who can read the manual.
What do people mean when they say the computer went down on them?-- Marilyn Pittman
"The computer world is like a great big toy store. But all the toys are broken."-- Steve Witham
Murphy's Eleventh Law of Computing:
A computer program will follow your orders, but rarely your intentions.
The goal of Computer Science is to build something that will last at least until we've finished building it.
Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window.-- Steve Wozniak
On-line, adj: The idea that a human being should always be accessible to a computer.
Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer.
Computers save man a lot of guesswork, but then, so do bikini's.
Computer Science without FORTRAN and COBOL is like birthday cake without ketchup and mustard.
We may begin to see reality differently simply because the computer ... provides a different angle on reality.-- Heinz Pagels
"I really didn't foresee the Internet. But then, neither did the computer industry. Not that that tells us very much of course - the computer industry didn't even foresee that the century was going to end."-- Douglas Adams
Nobody's gonna believe that computers are intelligent until they start coming in late and lying about it.
"The computer programmer is a creator of universes for which he alone is responsible. Universes of virtually unlimited complexity can be created in the form of computer programs."-- Joseph Weizenbaum
"Fast, fat computers breed slow, lazy programmers."-- Robert Hummel
I try to make computers say things like "You have 60 seconds to achieve safe distance".-- Terry Pratchett