randomsearchproposestats
70 hits
"Life is a zoo in a jungle."
-- Peter De Vries
Caffeine is not a substitute for sheep.
-- Peter da Silva
"The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do."
-- Walter Bagehot
Seattle reminds me a lot of London, where people will drink 12 beers but they never act drunk. Which makes you wonder what the point is of drinking 12 beers, if you're not going to put the lampshade on your head. You're killing your liver and still having no fun.
-- Peter Bagge
"The murals in restaurants are on a par with the food in museums."
-- Peter De Vries
Education makes people easy to lead, but difficult to drive; easy to govern, but impossible to enslave.
-- Henry Peter Brougham
Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.
-- Laurance J. Peter
Confession is good for the soul only in the sense that a tweed coat is good for dandruff.
-- Peter de Vries
If you don't know where you are going, you'll probably end up somewhere else.
-- Laurence J. Peter
Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings.
-- Laurence J. Peter
[Perl] isn't a programming language, it's a thousand special case rules flying in close formation.
-- Peter da Silva
The loom works perfectly well without the steam powered wig darner and shortbread cutter stapled to the side.
-- Peter da Silva
"In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence."
-- Laurence Johnston Peter
"Life at the top is financially rewarding, spiritually draining, physically exhausting, and short."
-- Peter C. Newman
"The main differences between a computer salesman and a used car salesman is that the used car salesman can probably drive and knows when he's lying."
-- Peter da Silva
"In America, through pressure of conformity, there is freedom of choice, but nothing to choose from."
-- Peter Alexander Ustinov
"When solving a kernel panic you must first ask yourself what you were doing that could possibly frighten an operating system."
-- Peter van der Linden
"Competence, like truth, beauty and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder."
-- Dr. Laurence Peter and Raymond Hull
> 0C is freezing, 100C is boiling, 70F is a nice day, and 110C is a nice
> sauna.
This is the same logic that took out the Mars Polar Lander, I see.
-- Peter da Silva
She's not my girlfriend. I find her interesting because she's a client and she sleeps above her covers. Four feet above her covers.
-- Dr. Peter Venkman (Ghostbusters.)
Oh, soddit, blackmail is too much like work.
-- Roger BW
"Most of us, when all is said and done, like what we like and make up reasons for it afterwards."
-- Soren F. Petersen
We have gone from a world of concentrated knowledge and wisdom to one of distributed ignorance. And we know and understand less while being increasingly capable.

-- Peter Cochrane
Hi, this is Peter. Right now alien creatures are eating my brain. Please leave a message at the tone and when they are finished one of the alien creatures will assume my form and get back to you.
-- Peter da Silva (heard occasionally on his answering machine)
I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life.
-- Lester Burnham (American Beauty)
All your base pairs are belong to us
"A government that is big enough to give you all you want is big enough to take it all away."
-- Barry Goldwater
War does not determine who is right, war determines who is left.
There is always a big future in computer maintenance.
-- Deteriorata (from the National Lampoon Radio Dinner album)
Better blatant than latent.
-- Scott Safier
I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
"Children are like TV sets. When they start acting weird, whack them across the eyes with a big rubber basketball shoe."
-- Hunter S. Thompson
Thy sky is falling...no, I'm tipping over backwards.
-- Steven Wright
"Good food, good meat, good god - let's eat!"
-- Prayer by Homer Simpson
Education is what you get when you read the fine print; experience is what you get when you don't.
-- Pete Seeger
Headline: Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
Accordion, n: A bagpipe with pleats.
“Pain (any pain – emotional, physical, mental) has a message. The information it has about our life can be remarkably specific, but it usually falls into one of two categories: “We would be more alive if we did more of this,” and, “Life would be more lovely if we did less of that.” Once we get the pain’s message, and follow its advice, the pain goes away.”
-- Peter McWilliams
"I find imperfection the most interesting thing about a person"
-- Jodi Foster
"It isn't premarital sex if you don't get married."
-- Michael Juster
Sometimes it's better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness.
-- Terry Pratchett
Baby orang-otans look like surprised coconuts.
-- Terry Pratchett
Where all men think alike, no one thinks very much.
-- Walter Lippmann
Headline: Miners Refuse to Work after Death
"And then the world went mad. All right, madder."
-- Terry Pratchett (Pyramids)
Censorship reflects society's lack of confidence in itself.
-- Potter Stewart
He said "It's all in your head", and I said "So's everything" but he didn't get it /
I thought he was a man but he was just a little boy.
-- Fiona Apple (Paper Bag)
"Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind."
-- Terry Pratchett
(A)bort (R)etry (T)oss computer across room?
Just because you're not paranoid, doesn't mean they're not out to get you.
-- The Register
Sufficiently advanced incompetence is indistinguishable from malice
Choconiverous, adj: Biting off the head of the chocolate Easter bunny first.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")
Beware by whom you are called sane.
-- Walter Inglis Anderson
Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant "idiot".
-- Terry Pratchett ("The Colour of Magic")
"She hates me."
"She hates me too. But I have enough sense to hate her back."
-- Corey and Gina (Empire Records)
Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.
-- Terry Pratchett (Hogfather)
"In the Beginning there was nothing, which exploded."
-- Terry Pratchett (Lords and Ladies)
Guru, n: A computer owner who can read the manual.
'If you put butter and salt on it, it tastes like salty butter.'
-- Terry Pratchett (concerning popcorn, Moving Pictures)
Living your life is a task so difficult, it has never been attempted before.
"I'll fight for you, but I will not compete for you... There's a difference."
This sentence contradicts itself -- no, actually it doesn't.
-- Douglas Hofstadter
"Guilt was the grease in which the wheels of the authority turned."
-- Terry Pratchett (Small Gods)
Never send a monster to do the work of an evil genius.
Eiffel Tower: The Empire State Building after taxes.
Creepy music coming from a cemetery should always be investigated more closely.
Dickens, as you know, never got round to starting his home page.
-- Terry Pratchett (alt.fan.pratchett)
"[The] human mind was like a compass. No matter how much you shook it up, no matter what happened to it, sooner or later it'd carry on pointing the same way."
-- Terry Pratchett (Johnny and the Dead)
Don't you talk to me about progress. Progress just means bad things happen faster.
-- Terry Pratchett
Law of Cat Elongation:
A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any counter top that has anything remotely interesting on it.