randomsearchproposestats
71 hits
"Theory: when you have ideas. Ideology: when ideas have you."
When you don't have an education, you've got to use your brain.
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
Say what you like about me, but sometimes I wish that I were really rich and didn't have to work. And also handsome.
-- Dave George
Ad: Vacation special: Have your home exterminated. Get rid of aunts.
It's okay. Life doesn't have to be perfect. It just has to be lived.
(Dexter)
Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
"Are you queer? Maybe just for tonight? 20 minutes? You don't have to be conscious."
Like I've always said, If you don't have anything nice to say, come sit by me.
(Steel Magnolias)
You can't remember the plot of the Dr. Who movie because it didn't have one, just a lot of plot holes strung together. It did have a lot of flashing lights, though.
-- Terry Pratchett (alt.fan.pratchett)
Materialism: buying things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people that don't matter.
He who laughs last probably didn't understand the joke.
You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
-- Steven Wright
And if I may conjecture a further objection,
love is nothing to do with destined perfection,
The connection is strengthened,
The affection simply grows over time,

Like a flower
or a mushroom
or a guinea pig
or a vine
or a sponge
or bigotry
...or a banana

And love is made more powerful
by the ongoing drama of shared experience,
and the synergy of a kind of symbiotic empathy, or... something
-- Tim Minchin (If I Didn't Have You)
"I don't have to choose, nyaah, nyaaah, nah nyaah nyaah."
-- Sandra Hereld
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted.
You don't have to think too hard while talking to teachers.
-- J.D. Salinger
Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.
-- A. H. Weiler
The time to relax is when you don't have time for it.
-- Sidney J. Harris
Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
-- Mae West
"You don't have to suffer to be a poet. Adolescence is enough suffering for anyone."
-- John Ciardi
Technology is a way of organizing the universe so that man doesn't have to experience it.
-- Max Frisch
"So you think that money is the root of all evil. Have you ever asked what is the root of all money?"
-- Ayn Rand
"Life was so much easier when your clothes didn't match and boys had cooties"
"Good old days: Beer foamed and drinking water didn't."
I didn't go to university. Didn't even finish A-levels. But I have sympathy for those who did.
-- Terry Pratchett (alt.fan.pratchett)
"I didn't want to come across as an industrial, snarling, Satan-singing entity"
-- Trent Reznor
"I don't have any solution, but I certainly admire the problem."
-- Ashleigh Brilliant
"Memory is like an orgasm. It's a lot better if you don't have to fake it."
-- Seymour Cray (on virtual memory)
I love you, you love me,
With a little fricassee
And some mustard and ketchup smeared all over you,
Can't I have you for lunch too?
"I didn't understand this at first, but YOUR CONVINCING USE OF CAPITAL LETTERS HAS MADE IT ALL CLEAR TO ME."
-- J. Nairn
Some days I think it just doesn't pay to get out of bed. Like Saturdays, when I don't have to go to work.
-- R. M. Weiner
QoS means I don't have enough bandwidth, but if you pay me extra money I'll drop someone else's packets instead of yours.
-- Dave Rand
"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have is that I didn't study my Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people."
-- Dan Quayle
Dracula: I am Count Dracula!
Yakko: Didn't you use to teach math on Sesame Street?
(Animaniacs)
Once in a while it really hits people that they don't have to experience the world in the way they have been told to.
-- Alan Keightley
"If I had thought about it, I wouldn't have done the experiment. The literature was full of examples that said you can't do this."
-- Spencer Silver (on the work that led to the unique adhesives for 3-M "Post-It" Notes)
NASA doesn't have any live weapons; we can only drop management paperwork on those who peeve us--but with a B-52 we can drop a lot of it!
-- Mary Shafer
The door opened. It opened very slowly, and with the maximum amount of creak. Simple neglect wouldn't have caused that depth of groan; you'd need careful work with hot water over a period of weeks.
-- Terry Pratchett (Wyrd Sisters)
I'm totally unfreaked about any kind of bodily function. My band are with it too; they'll carry my tampons round in their pockets if I don't have a bag
-- Shirley Manson
Have you noticed the way people's intelligence capabilities decline sharply the minute they start waving guns around?
-- Dr. Who
"Do you know a cow was murdered to make that jacket?"
"I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I guess I'll have to kill you too."
-- Paul Crowley
If we couldn't laugh at things that didn't make sense,
we couldn't react to a lot of the world around us."
(Calvin & Hobbes)
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
"Our generation has an incredible amount of realism, yet at the same time it loves to complain and not really change. Because, if it does change, then it won't have anything to complain about."
-- Tori Amos
That's, uh, quite a dress you almost have on.
(An American in Paris)
Dad taught me everything I know, but he didn't teach me everything he knows.
-- Al Unser Jr.
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
"Our wines leave you nothing to hope for."
"I learned early... If you don't have anything intelligent to say, you should probably keep your mouth shut until you do. Gives them the illusion that you're smarter than you really are."

-- Amanda Firefox
Sign in a hotel elevator in Paris:
"Please leave your values at the front desk."
What a man knows at fifty that he didn't know at twenty is, for the most part, incommunicable.
-- Adlai Stevenson
"You know they've reintroduced the death penalty for insurance company directors?"
"Really?" said Arthur. "No I didn't. For what offense?"
Trillian frowned. "What do you mean, offense?"
"I see."
-- Douglas Adams (The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
Laugh, and the world laughs with you. But you know most of them didn't get the joke in the first place, the lying weasels.
-- Wade Kwon
You don't have to flaunt technical ability in order to benefit from it. If you have the capability to play a million notes, and then you play only three notes, that lends an amazing profundity to the three notes you did choose.
-- Robert Fripp (paraphrased)
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.
-- Erica Jong
"I really didn't foresee the Internet. But then, neither did the computer industry. Not that that tells us very much of course - the computer industry didn't even foresee that the century was going to end."
-- Douglas Adams
"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
-- Drew Carey
"Have you ever wondered how that could have happened?"
"No."
"That was a rhetorical question. It wasn't meant to be answered."
"But that was a rhetorical answer. It wasn't meant to be questioned."
Many of us spend half our time wishing for things we could have if we didn't spend half our time wishing.
-- Alexander Woollcott
"I hate it when people quote the Bible to defend themselves, because it's not like Jesus wrote the Bible. His friends did. And you know how your friends always fuck up stories. Jesus is probably like, 'I didn't walk on water. You were drunk, and I was in a puddle.'"
-- S.L. Pouthier
"Well, to be fair I did have a couple of gadgets he probably didn't, like a teaspoon and an open mind."
-- The Doctor
He said "It's all in your head", and I said "So's everything" but he didn't get it /
I thought he was a man but he was just a little boy.
-- Fiona Apple (Paper Bag)
Nerb, n: a noun used as a verb. For example: ''They didn't language the proclamation very well''. nerb, nerbing, nerbed v. the act of using nouns as verbs in a sentence.
-- Rich Hill
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
This idea (of not noticing the identity of certain repetitive events) is interesting when we apply it to ourselves. Are there highly repetitive events which occur in our lives time and time again, and which we handle in the identical stupid way each time, because we don't have enough of an overview to perceive their sameness?
-- Douglas Hofstadter
Progress might have been all right once, but it has gone on too long.
-- Ogden Nash
A friend should be someone you don't have to prove things to, and with whom you can be yourself, whatever that is. A friend is also someone who should be able to tell you you are being silly or brain-damaged or making poor decisions about something without you being upset and offended, like when the love of your life is taking you to the cleaners, and you are completely blind to it.
-- Joseph Francis
"You know," said Arthur, "it's at times like this, when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die from asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young."
"Why, what did she tell you?"
"I don't know, I didn't listen."
-- Arthur coping with certain death as best as he can. (The High Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
"Life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful."
-- Annette Funicello
"If you do not think about the future, you cannot have one."
-- John Galsworthy
"Anger is natural. It's part of the force. You just have to learn to hang out with it."
-- Tori Amos