22 hits
I fell so hard and I took it so well that I felt like if I were any more of a happy-go-lucky klutz that I'd be an anime character-- Puddle (#xkcd)
did you know that in McDonaldland, you can get a license to hamburgle? It's true, the Hamburgler actually pays Grimace the purple guy for the same hamburgers he burgles, just for the opportunity to steal them for sport. He's neither a criminal nor an anarchist, he's a sycophant to the clown plutocracy.-- puddle (#xkcd)
"Man gazing at the stars is proverbially at the mercy of the puddles in the road."-- Alexander Smith
Adult: A person that has stopped growing at both ends but not in the middle.
"We're not exploiting women. We're exploiting middle-aged men with credit cards." (on porn)
Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer.
Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.-- Kin Hubbard
Why am I so soft in the middle when the rest of my life is so hard?-- Paul Simon
"We desire nothing so much as what we ought not to have"-- Buddha
Remember, it takes 42 muscles to frown, but only 4 to extend your middle finger and tell someone to "bite me!"
"I hate it when people quote the Bible to defend themselves, because it's not like Jesus wrote the Bible. His friends did. And you know how your friends always fuck up stories. Jesus is probably like, 'I didn't walk on water. You were drunk, and I was in a puddle.'"-- S.L. Pouthier
"It is a man's own mind, not his enemy or foe, that lures him to evil ways."-- Buddha
"It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them."-- Fred Adler
Always behave like a duck: keep calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle like the devil underneath.-- Jacob Braude
Idle hands are the air guitar's playground (Alas)
It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.-- Alfred Adler
The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions.-- Alfred Adler
I used to have a handle on life, then it broke.