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Interpretation is the revenge of the intellect upon art.-- Susan Sontag
"The only interesting answers are those which destroy the questions."-- Susan Sontag
Magic happens.
Shikata ga nai.
Adolescence, n: The stage between puberty and adultery.
I have had solemnly explained to me the audible differences between digital data (S/PDIF) carried over coax and carried over optical (coax is bassier, apparently).
-- Tag
Religion is probably, after sex, the second oldest resource which human beings have available to them for blowing their minds.-- Susan Sontag
"God created sex. Priests created marriage."-- Voltaire
The advantage of emotions is that they lead us astray.-- Oscar Wilde
If God created us in his own image, we have more than reciprocated.-- Voltaire
Patageometry, n: The study of those mathematical properties that are invariant under brain transplants.
If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.-- Paul Beatty
"Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd."-- Voltaire
All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.-- Sean O'Casey
Catapult: device for throwing cats long distances.
I do not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.-- Voltaire
Eiffel Tower: The Empire State Building after taxes.
"I'll take Fucking Clues for $200."
The standard you walk past is the standard you accept.
Accordion, n: A bagpipe with pleats.
The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them.-- Mark Twain
Those who don't know, talk. Those who don't talk, know.
Propaganda - A socially correct goose
Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself.-- Rita Mae Brown
"Debugging is anticipated with distaste, performed with reluctance, and bragged about forever."
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.-- Voltaire
Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.-- Alfred Hitchcock
Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.-- Carl Sagan
Only the good die young. Note the average age in Congress.
The voters have spoken, the bastards...
Language and its absurd conjunctions;
Constellations and crustaceans rhyme.
Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
Support your local medical examiner. Die strangely.-- Nikki Gustas
"What's reality anyway? Nothing but a collective hunch."-- Jane Wagner
I revel some but not nearly enough to get up on stage. In fact, the amount of drunken revelry required to get me on stage in a karaoke bar would probably also send me into a coma.-- Joe Lavin
Lies, damned lies and user documentation.
On applause: They named it Ovation from the Latin ovis, a sheep.-- Plutarch
"The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if they foul up, there's no law against whacking them around a little."-- Porterfield
"To call war the soil of courage and virtue is like calling debauchery the soil of love."-- George Santayana
They don't make nostalgia like they used to.
"How many of you ever started dating somene because you were too lazy to commit suicide?"-- Judy Tenuta
You wouldn't know a good time if it stripped naked, hopped on your face, and started wiggling!-- C. Stanley
Antidotes are what you take to prevent dotes.
Don't intterupt me when I'm talking to myself
The rich aren't like us, they pay less taxes.
"Reality is the leading cause of stress for those in touch with it."-- Jack Wagner
Idle hands are the air guitar's playground (Alas)
The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from.-- Andy Tanenbaum
"Propaganda is to democracy what violence is to totalitarianism."-- Noam Chomsky
Reality can be beaten with enough imagination.
It's strange that men should take up crime when there are so many legal ways to be dishonest.-- Sunshine magazine
Life is what happens to you when you're making other plans.-- Betty Talmadge
The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient while Nature cures the disease.-- Voltaire
Man has always sacrificed truth to his vanity, comfort and advantage. He lives by make-believe.-- W. Somerset Maugham
"Science has made gods of us before we were even worthy of being men."-- Jean Rostand
When nothing else remains, one must scream. Silence is the ultimate crime against humanity.-- Nadezhda Mandelstam
Life is a sexually transmitted, fatal disease...
In order to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.-- Carl Sagan
Abortion is advocated only by persons who have themselves been born.-- Ronald Reagan
"A sense of humor is the only thing that keeps intelligent people from hanging themselves."-- Voltaire
The only thing I regret about my past is the length of it. If I had my life to live again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner.-- Tallulah Bankhead
Half of the people in the world are below average.
Seagull Manager: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps over everything and then leaves.
The human language is like a cracked kettle on which we beat out a tune for a dancing bear, when we hope with our music to move the stars.-- Gustave Flaubert
Sign in a Nairobi restaurant:
"Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager."
Putt's Law: Technology is dominated by two types of people: Those who understand what they do not manage and those who manage what they do not understand.
The music is the magic carpet that the other things take naps on.-- Tori Amos
"The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do."-- Walter Bagehot
On an American Airlines package of nuts: Instructions: Open package, eat nuts.
The nuclear arms race is like two sworn enemies standing waist deep in gasoline, one with three matches, the other with five.-- Dr. Carl Sagan
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.
"Healing takes courage, and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it."-- Tori Amos
Adventure: The land between entertainment and panic.
Headline: Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
Words skittered out of his mouth like cartoon dogs on fresh-waxed linoleum, frantically going nowhere.-- Amy Tan
Skepticism, like chastity, should not be relinquished too readily.-- George Santayana
If you can't take the heat, don't tickle the dragon.-- Scott Fahlman
"'Stay' is a charming word in a friend's vocabulary."
Music soothes the savage beast. ...unless it's polka.
"People aren’t against you; they are for themselves."
A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.
Headline: Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
Headline: Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
Dessert is probably the most important stage of the meal, since it will be the last thing your guests remember before they pass out all over the table.-- The Anarchist Cookbook
If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.
[Not to mention, butterfly would be flutterby. Ed.]-- Doug Larson