46 hits
"Mosquitoes have caused more deaths than all the wars. Guppies devour mosquito larvae so may be the best defense against them...We budget billions for military systems. Preposterous! Spend it on guppies!" (letter to the editor, Eugene newspaper)
He was as shy as a newspaper is when referring to its own merits.
"Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial 'we'."-- Mark Twain
It is better to have loved and lost than to have hated and won.
Ad from newspaper:
'Dinner Special--Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.'
"I figured out why I'm not getting seriously rich. I write newspaper columns. Nobody ever makes newspaper columns into Major Motion Pictures starring Tom Cruise. The best you can hope for, with a newspaper column, is that people will like it enough to attach it to their refrigerators with magnets shaped like fruit."-- Dave Barry
A dark past creates a long path back to the surface.
One can't proceed from the informal to the formal by formal means.
...postmodernity, once the plaything of smarty-pants French guys, in truth belongs to the engagingly stupid. (Newsweek)
Never send a monster to do the work of an evil genius.
"It is better to be quotable than to be honest."-- Tom Stoppard
Q: Why did the germ cross the microscope?
A: To get to the other slide.
I like the kind of people that can hold on to the the feeling they have after the song or movie ends.
It is better to waste one's youth, than to do nothing at all with it.-- Courteline
Bagdikian's Observation:
Trying to be a first-rate reporter on the average American newspaper is like trying to play Bach's 'St. Matthew Passion' on a ukelele.
It is better to be hated for what one is than loved for what one is not.-- Andre Gide
Sometimes it's better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness.-- Terry Pratchett
America is like a melting pot. The people at the bottom get burned, and the scum floats to the top.
There are only two industries that refer to their customers as 'users.'-- Edward Tufte
"I like to go to the beach and bury metal objects that say 'get a life' on them"
I think it's a beautiful day to go to the zoo and feed the ducks.
To the lions.-- Brian Kantor (the SDM)
Absent, adj: Exposed to the attacks of friends and acquaintances; defamed; slandered.
Nothing is better than Sex.
Masturbation is better than nothing.
Therefore, Masturbation is better than Sex.
The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.
"Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self."-- Cyril Connolly
It's better to be silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.-- Abraham Lincoln
Given the pace of technology, I propose we leave math to the machines and go play outside. (Calvin & Hobbes)
Whoever said women don't like porn just isn't talking to the right women. Or showing them the right porn.
"A book should serve as an axe to the ice inside us."-- Franz Kafka
The meek shall inherit the earth. The rest of us are going to the stars.-- Robert A. Heinlein
"Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers."-- T. S. Eliot
"In America--as elsewhere--free speech is confined to the dead."-- Mark Twain
Keep emotionally active. Cater to your favorite neurosis.
Democracy according to the NRA: Firearms are necessary to protect individual liberties; most of all the right to own firearms.
"It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them."-- Fred Adler
As the cheetah said to the chameleon:
You can hide, but you can't run!-- Alan Williams
I do not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.-- Voltaire
"Whenever I say something they find hard to hear /
they chalk it up to my anger and never to their own fear."-- Ani Difranco (Pretty Girl)
Speer's 1st Law of Proofreading: The visibility of an error is inversely proportional to the number of times you have looked at it.
"Language is a city to the building of which every human being brought a stone."-- Mark Twain