30 hits
Sometimes it's better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness.-- Terry Pratchett
In the beginning was the word, and the word was "aardvark".
"Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot."
Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
Men are like parking spaces: the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.
He who laughs last found the dirty meaning.
Never wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, and the pig likes it.
The cost of living is going up, and the chance of living is going down.
And the pickles frolicked with the waffles, joyously.
People must think I'm a mushroom. They constantly keep me in the dark and feed me bullshit.
The guns and the bombs, the rockets and the warships, are all symbols of human failure.-- Lyndon B Johnson
"The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug."-- Mark Twain
America is like a melting pot. The people at the bottom get burned, and the scum floats to the top.
He who laughs last probably didn't understand the joke.
Some women get excited about nothing, and then marry him.
In the fight between you and the world, back the world.-- Franz Kafka
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.-- Anais Nin
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.-- Steven Wright
Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you mad.-- Aldous Huxley
"What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary."-- Richard Harkness
In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and kid the people.-- Groucho Marx
I'm an apatheist. The question is no longer interesting, and the answer no longer matters.-- petro (a.s.r)
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.-- Clarence Darrow
"Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems."-- Homer Simpson
"And the heat goes on... where the hand has been."-- Byrne/Eno
"I understand your question and the answer is 'You're thinking too hard.'"-- Jose Garcia
It will be a great day when our schools have all the money they need, and the Air Force has to hold a bake sale to buy a new bomber.