randomsearchproposestats
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See my big frustration here is that my main squeeze has turned out to be a Late Blooming Nerd, and is in the habit of (in the midst of cuddling) saying sweet things like "you think if I disable the caching it would work?"
-- Ro Reid

"The bigger the information media, the less courage and freedom they allow. Bigness means weakness."
-- Eric Sevareid

Penguin Trivia #46: Animals who are not penguins can only wish they were.
-- Chicago Reader 10/15/82

In order to keep anything cultural, logical, or ideological, you have to reinvent the reality of it.
-- Ani Difranco

To err is human but to really foul things up requires a computer.
(Farmer's Almanac for 1978)

Everyone is a genius. It's just that some people are too stupid to realize it.

What is dignity without honesty?
-- Cicero

Usenet is like Tetris for people who still know how to read.
(Computer Museum (Boston))

"Those who realize their folly are not true fools"
-- Chuang Tzu

Books: A controlled hallucinogen known to regularly cause people to imagine things that are not really there.

Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I've come to realize there is a very close resemblance to the first.
-- Ronald Reagan

Sometimes the appropriate response to reality is to go insane.
-- Philip K Dick

The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand.
We listen to reply.

As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain, and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.
-- Albert Einstein

Ralph's Observation: It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize that you are in a hurry.

Try to relax and enjoy the crisis.
-- Ashleigh Brilliant

> Those who will not study history are condemned to repeat it.
And those who do study it, tend to repeat each other.

-- Ketil Malde

Education's purpose is to replace an open mind with a full one.
-- David Nestor

Skepticism, like chastity, should not be relinquished too readily.
-- George Santayana

Facts are stupid things.
-- Ronald Reagan (1988 Republican Convention)

Brandolini's law: The amount of energy needed to refute bullshit is an order of magnitude larger than to produce it.

The time to relax is when you don't have time for it.
-- Sidney J. Harris

"... it is important to realize that any lock can be picked with a big enough hammer."
(Sun System & Network Admin manual)

As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take which course he will he will be sure to repent it.
-- Socrates

Law of Cat Elongation:
A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any counter top that has anything remotely interesting on it.

A good pun is its own reword.

You go right on thinking that. Don't let reality stop you.
-- dpm

"The first thing to remember about Unix is that nothing is ever spelled correctly."
-- Steve Lidie

Recursive, adj: See Recursive.

Law of Cat Inertia:
A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force - such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.

In America the President reigns for four years, and Journalism governs forever and ever.
-- Oscar Wilde

Art is the desire of a man to express himself, to record the reactions of his personality to the world he lives in.
-- Amy Lowell

Experience allows you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
-- Franklin P. Jones

Why should we subsidize intellectual curiosity?
-- Ronald Reagan

A language is a dialect with an army and a navy.
-- Max Weinreich

Boycott shampoo. Demand real poo!

A man generally has two reasons for doing a thing. One that sounds good, and a real one.
-- J. Pierpoint Morgan

Education... has produced a vast population able to read but unable to distinguish what is worth reading.
-- G. M. Trevelyan

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
-- Anais Nin

Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
-- Laura Creighton

"We are at times too ready to believe that the present is the only possible state of things."
-- Marcel Proust

"Before you go and criticize the younger generation, just remember who raised them."

"I sound like a fruitcake sitting here saying all this shit."
-- Trent Reznor

"Read the best books first, or you may not have a chance to read them all."
-- Henry David Thoreau

The revolution will NOT be televised.

Err. I'm visualising. I'm either really scared, or really turned on.
Or both. Maybe that's a typical reaction to Skud.

-- Rebecca B. Gray

"I wanted to make a little spot in the context of the record where there was this break in the action. In the midst of this buildup of these ever-growing, terrible machines, I just wanted to remember that there is somewhere... else."
-- Trent Reznor

"Most people do not watch TV because they want to watch TV. They watch TV to relieve themselves of the burden of finding something actually enjoyable to do."

Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it takes a long time, and the light bulb has to really want to change.

I'm an apatheist. The question is no longer interesting, and the answer no longer matters.
-- petro (a.s.r)

There's no excuse for laziness, except for maybe if you've been in a real bad train accident, and had to have a large part of your brain removed.
-- Lev L. Spiro

What is the nature of God? His nature is entirely dependent upon the age or culture that has reinvented him.
-- Solomon Skink

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
-- Redd Foxx

As I stare into the abyss of the toilet bowl I try hard to rememeber the reason why I felt the desperate need to mix vodka and red wine with whiskey and tequila.
-- Shirley Manson

Abortion is advocated only by persons who have themselves been born.
-- Ronald Reagan

"I know what I don't believe in. I know what I've rejected. But I'm not sure what I do believe in."
-- Trent Reznor

Microsoft: Re-inventing the square wheel.

Just because you're not paranoid, doesn't mean they're not out to get you.
-- The Register

Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
-- Jules Renord

No Risk Lifestyle, n:
Death

People do not seem to realize that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Headline: Miners Refuse to Work after Death

"I didn't want to come across as an industrial, snarling, Satan-singing entity"
-- Trent Reznor

A BBC correspondent, reporting on plans to build a McDonalds amidst ancient Roman ruins: 'To really get into the spirit of Pompeii, the restaurant would have to be buried in volcanic ash. And if you ask me, that's not a bad idea.'

Science may have found a cure for most evils, but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all--the apathy of human beings.
-- Helen Keller

The reward for a job well done is more work.

"A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation."
-- H. H. Munro (Saki)

Lactomangulation - n. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk carton so badly that one has to resort to using the "illegal" side.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

"Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest."
-- Mark Twain