147 hits
"I don't know who Jim Henson is but I've heard he has his hand in a lot of things around here."-- Kermit the Frog (in 1972)
Hope is the feeling you have that the feeling you have isn't permanent.
Sign in a hotel elevator in Paris:
"Please leave your values at the front desk."
Beware the fury of a patient woman.
My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
We accept the love we think we deserve
One can't proceed from the informal to the formal by formal means.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, let the machine get it.
Is not that the nature of men and women--that the pleasure is in the learning of each other?
Democracy is the form of government where everyone gets what the majority deserves.
Paul's Law: You can't fall off the floor.
"I'm not mad at the world... just at all the people in it."
I like the kind of people that can hold on to the the feeling they have after the song or movie ends.
"Must... defy... laws... of... physics!"-- The Tick
Those who speak by the yard and think by the inch should be kicked by the foot.
The future exists first in the imagination, then in the will, then in reality.
America is like a melting pot. The people at the bottom get burned, and the scum floats to the top.
"The first 80% of software development is the easy part. The hard part is the next 80%"
I'd love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.
"Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise. Seek what they sought"-- Basho
Come, let us retract the foreskin of misconception and apply the wire brush of enlightenment.
In the beginning was the word, and the word was "aardvark".
Television: the bland leading the bland.
Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
"All the people stared as if we were both quite insane."-- The Hollies
And the pickles frolicked with the waffles, joyously.
355/113 -- Not the famous irrational number PI, but an incredible simulation.
The goodness of morals depends upon what the morals say, not just the fact that they are morals.-- Rob Bernardo
People often find it easier to be a result of the past than a cause of the future.
pride is not the opposite of shame, but its source
The bigger they are, the harder they hit.
What really matters is the name you succeed in imposing on the facts -- not the facts themselves.-- Cohen's Law
Alimony: the fee a woman charges for name-dropping.
The light at the end of a tunnel may be an oncoming train.
Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder.
Of all the truths in the world, humor is the most satisfying and often the healthiest.
"Remember the Golden Rule: Those who have the gold make the rules."
Never underestimate the falseness of a generalisation.
When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
You measure democracy by the freedom it gives its dissidents, not the freedom it gives its assimilated conformists.-- Abbie Hoffman
"The conviction of the rich that the poor are happier is no more foolish than the conviction of the poor that the rich are."-- Mark Twain
In the fight between you and the world, back the world.-- Franz Kafka
Laugh, and the world laughs with you. But you know most of them didn't get the joke in the first place, the lying weasels.-- Wade Kwon
Deja moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
It's a joke. Like the funny kind, but different.
If it wasn't for the optimist the pessimist would never know how happy he isn't.
"Man gazing at the stars is proverbially at the mercy of the puddles in the road."-- Alexander Smith
Life is like a dog-sled team; If you ain't the lead dog, the scene never changes.
If you're not part of the freaks, you're part of the boredom.-- Perry Farrell
TCP_UP - The 16-bit TCP Urgent Pointer, encoded as the hex representation of the value of the field. The hex string MUST be capitalized since it is urgent. (RFC 3093)
A bird in the hand is the best way to eat chicken.
Half of the people in the world are below average.
The meek shall inherit the earth. The rest of us are going to the stars.-- Robert A. Heinlein
"Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt."-- Herbert Hoover
"I'd like to meet the person who invented sex and see what they're working on now."
Study the past, if you would divine the future.-- Confucius
2, 3, 3, 37 - the prime factorization of the beast.
The very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common. Instead of altering their views to fit the facts, they alter the facts to fit their views ... which can be very uncomfortable if you happen to be one of the facts that needs altering.-- Dr. Who ("Face of Evil")
Heller's Law: The first myth of management is that it exists.
It's not the men in my life, it's the life in my men.-- Mae West
"News" is just the stuff they use to fill up all the empty space they couldn't sell for advertising.
Lecture, n: Where the notes of the professor become the notes of the student without passing through the mind of either one.
There are three sorts of despots. There is the despot who tyrannizes over the body. There is the despot who tyrannizes over the soul. There is the despot who tyrannizes over the soul and body alike. The first is called the Prince. The second is called the Pope. The third is called the People.-- Oscar Wilde
This must be morning. I never could get the hang of mornings.
I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
Just as the whole is more than the sum of parts, the forest more than the tree and birds, so is mankind greater than the wanking of its nerds on slashdot.org.
The music is the magic carpet that the other things take naps on.-- Tori Amos
After 16 years, MTV has finally completed its de-evolution into the shiny things network.-- The Onion
Q: Why did the germ cross the microscope?
A: To get to the other slide.
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.-- Steven Wright
At the beginning and at the end of love, the two lovers are embarrassed to find themselves alone.-- La Bruyere
Hermits have no peer pressure.
Spirtle, n: The fine stream from a grapefruit that always lands right in your eye.-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")
Ban the bomb. Save the world for conventional warfare.
Law of diminishing IQ:
The IQ of the group is the lowest IQ of a member of the group divided by the number of people in the group.
Monday is the root of all evil.
"If houses were built the way software is built,
the first woodpecker would bring down civilization."
"The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out the conservative adopts them."-- Mark Twain
The voters have spoken, the bastards...
The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.-- H. L. Mencken
Q: Why did the tachyon cross the road?
A: Because it was on the other side.
The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.
The law should make men free. The problem is making the law free.
Funny. All the wireless people seem to be the marionettes.
Only the good die young. Note the average age in Congress.
"Do not the most moving moments of our lives find us without words?"
Arachnoleptic fit, n: The frantic dance performed just after you accidentally walk through a spider web.
"The thing that I'm into is the philosophy of the music. I love the surprise of things, the accidents--just the sound of a word, to try to express them in the best way, so that the emotion is totally revealed."-- Beth Gibbons
Being in a nudist colony probably takes all the fun out of Halloween.
Dessert is probably the most important stage of the meal, since it will be the last thing your guests remember before they pass out all over the table.-- The Anarchist Cookbook
Adultery - two wrong people doing the right thing.
Everything has been thought of before, but the problem is to think of it again.-- Goethe
Just because you're not paranoid, doesn't mean they're not out to get you.-- The Register
"Don't be afraid to go after what you want to do, and what you want to be. But don't be afraid to be willing to pay the price."-- Lane Frost
"The biggest disease today isn't leprosy or tuberculosis, but the feeling of being unwanted."-- Mother Theresa
Eat a live toad in the morning, and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
It is a good thing to in your mind be able to seperate the artist from the art.
"If you do not think about the future, you cannot have one."-- John Galsworthy
The applied mathematician can find the solution to any difficulty, whilst the pure mathematician can find the difficulty to any solution.
The future ain't what it used to be.
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.-- Will Rogers
Conservative: a man who believes nothing should be done for the first time.
"I think all the boys that write the screaming stuff would write the best love songs... because they have the most to hide. The guys that are in the most pain are usually the ones with the biggest hearts."-- Tori Amos
Accuracy, n: The vice of being right.
Be alert. The world needs more lerts.
The world is full of willing people; some willing to work, the rest willing to let them.-- Robert Frost
Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
The principle difference between a cat and a lie is that the cat has only nine lives.
It's true that the French have a certain obsession with sex, but it's a particularly adult obsession. France is the thriftiest of all nations; to a Frenchman sex provides the most economical way to have fun. The French are a logical race.-- Anita Loos
The BeOS takes the best features from the major operating systems. It's got the power and flexibility of Unix, the interface and ease of use of the MacOS, and Minesweeper from Windows.-- Tyler Riti
Join the army: meet interesting people, then kill them.
X.400 is the mail system of the future, and I hope it stays that way.-- Erik Fair
A real leader faces the music, even when he doesn't like the tune.
Thinking: The talking of the soul with itself.-- Plato
Domestication is the enemy of romance.
Proof by omission: The reader may easily supply the details. The other 253 cases are analogous.
The elephant is the only mammal that can't jump.
The more we disagree, the bigger the chance that at least one of us is right.
"It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution."-- Oscar Wilde
The fact that I know I'm often a fool, but that I also have an IQ a fair bit over a hundred, scares me. What fools the rest of the world must be.
Renning's Maxim: Man is the highest animal. Man does the classifying.
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.-- Oscar Wilde
It is possible to believe that all the past is but the beginning of a beginning, and that all that is and has been is but the twilight of the dawn. It is possible to believe that all the human mind has ever accomplished is but the dream before the awakening.-- H.G. Wells
What is wanted is not the will to believe but the will to find out, which is the exact opposite.-- Bertrand Russell
I find "Yes, you _can_ do it that way, but the rest of the Internet community will point at you and giggle", followed by my walking out in a flurry of RFCs, tends to be quite effective-- Tanuki the Raccoon-Dog (a.s.r.)
There are people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying.
We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.-- T.S. Eliot
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.-- Kierkegaard
"One good turn gets most of the blankets"
Microsoft: Re-inventing the square wheel.
"Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed."-- Mark Twain
In Taiwan, the translation of the Pepsi slogan "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" came out as "Pepsi will bring your ancestors back from the dead."
In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and kid the people.-- Groucho Marx
"Geologists know how to make the bedrock."
Cloning is the sincerest form of flattery.