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Philosophy will clip an angel's wings.
-- John Keats

Schizophrenia beats being alone.

Give me books, French wine, fruit, fine weather and a little music out of doors, played by somebody I do not know.
-- John Keats

Accordion, n: A bagpipe with pleats.

"I met a lady in the meads
Full beautiful, a faery's child;
Her hair was long, her foot was light,
And her eyes were wild."

-- Keats

Don't sweat petty things... or pet sweaty things.

No Risk Lifestyle, n:
Death

Great Lover, n: A man who can breathe through his ears.

Don't be humble. You're not that great.

If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.
-- Paul Beatty

Cat: Ethereal music wreathed in mystery.

Headline: Miners Refuse to Work after Death

"The human mind treats a new idea the way the body treats a strange protein; it rejects it."
-- P. B. Medawar

Reality can be beaten with enough imagination.

A bird in the hand is the best way to eat chicken.

"Early morning cheerfulness can be extremely obnoxious."
-- William Feather

Among animals, it's eat or be eaten. Among people it's define or be defined.

A dark past creates a long path back to the surface.

"Movies don't create psychos. Movies just make psychos more creative."
(Scream)

Catapult: device for throwing cats long distances.

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't make eight cats pull a sled through the snow.

"God created sex. Priests created marriage."
-- Voltaire

Reality is an illusion created by alcohol deficiency.

"Al Gore attacks with the agility of a pregnant cow!"
-- Celebrity Deathmatch

"Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God."

Red meat is not bad for you. Now blue-green meat, that's bad for you.

Life may seem unfair, but Life never cheats the way people do.
-- Stewart Kramer

Women treat us just as humanity treats its gods. They worship us and are always bothering us to do something for them.
-- Oscar Wilde

Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow they may cancel your VISA.

Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.
-- Terry Pratchett (Hogfather)

I paint what I eat. -- Chardin
I eat what I paint. -- Courbet
I eat paint. -- Van Gogh
I paint my food. -- Rauschenberg

In the past, men created witches; now they create mental patients.
-- Tom Szasz

Old age and treachery will beat youth and skill every time.
(A coffee cup)