43 hits
Aftermath, n: The period following algebra.
PMS, n: the short period of time when women act like men do all the time.
"Even the AI hated [my book]?"
"The AI loved it. That's when we knew for sure that people were going to hate it."-- Dan Simmons (Hyperion)
Cashtration, n.: The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
The defect of equality is that we only desire it with our superiors.-- Henry Becque
Funny. All the wireless people seem to be the marionettes.
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted.
Experience is what causes a person to make new mistakes instead of old ones.
Future: That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.-- Ambrose Bierce
Rule of Defactualization: Information deteriorates upward through bureaucracies.
"The essence of intelligence is skill in extracting meaning from everyday experience."
Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it.-- George Bernard Shaw
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.
Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.-- Woody Allen
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.-- T. S. Eliot
Lust comes at first sight, love comes after staring at the same person for elongated periods of time.-- lj user slvrstarlight
"The west won the world not by the superiority of its ideas or values or religion but rather by its superiority in applying organized violence. Westerners often forget this fact, non-westerners never do."-- Samuel P. Huntington
"Picture the sun as the origin of two intersecting 6-dimensional hyperplanes from which we can deduce a certain transformational sequence which gives us the terminal velocity of a rubber duck ..."
"The Rolex Hyperion. An elegant new standard in quality excellence and discriminating handcraftsmanship. For the individual who is truly able to discriminate with regard to excellent quality standards of crafting things by hand. Fabricated of 100 percent 24-karat gold. No watch parts or anything. Just a great big chunk on your wrist. Truly a timeless statement. For the individual who is very secure. Who doesn't need to be reminded all the time that he is very successful. Much more successful than the people who laughed at him in high school. Because of his acne. People who are probably nowhere near as successful as he is now. Maybe he'll go to his 20th reunion, and they'll see his Rolex Hyperion. Hahahahahahahahaha."-- Dave Barry (In Search of Excellence)
Teacher's First Law of Grading Lab Papers: If an experiment has perfect results, the student has cheated.
Taking me seriously is a big mistake. I certainly wouldn't.-- Ani Difranco
You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.-- Sacha Guitry
"If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat."-- Mark Twain
2+2=5-ism: Caving in to a target marketing strategy aimed at oneself after holding out for a long period of time. "Oh, all right, I'll buy your stupid cola. Now leave me alone."-- Douglas Coupland ('Generation X')
Technology is a way of organizing the universe so that man doesn't have to experience it.-- Max Frisch
The door opened. It opened very slowly, and with the maximum amount of creak. Simple neglect wouldn't have caused that depth of groan; you'd need careful work with hot water over a period of weeks.-- Terry Pratchett (Wyrd Sisters)
"The poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese."-- G. K. Chesterton
"All dogmas perish the thinking mind, especially ones you agree with."-- Adam Richardson
One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.-- Plato
That's what friendship means: sharing the prejudice of experience.-- Charles Bukowski
Experience allows you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.-- Franklin P. Jones
Education is what you get when you read the fine print; experience is what you get when you don't.-- Pete Seeger
Robin: I wanna make sure you're serious about turning over a new leaf. I need a sign.
Poison Ivy: How about "Slippery When Wet"? (Batman & Robin)
The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed.-- Albert Einstein
Rational, adj: Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.-- Ambrose Bierce
"Nothing in man is more serious than his sense of humor; it is the sign that he wants all the truth."-- Mark Van Doren