10 hits
"Verily and forsooth," replied Goodgulf darkly.
"In the past year strange and fearful wonders I have seen. Fields sown with barley reap crabgrass and fungus, and even small gardens reject their artichoke hearts. There has been a hot day in December and a blue moon. Calendars are made with a month of Sundays and a blue-ribbon Holstein bore alive two insurance salesmen. The earth splits and the entrails of a goat were found tied in square knots. The face of the sun blackens and the skies have rained down soggy potato chips."
"But what do all these things mean?" gasped Frito.
"Beats me," said Goodgulf with a shrug, "but I thought it made good copy."-- Harvard Lampoon ("Bored of the Rings")
Boycott shampoo. Demand real poo!
Ask a man which way he is going to vote and he will probably tell you. Ask him however why and vagueness is all.-- Bernard Levin
A writer is someone who writes, and a stinger is something that stings. But fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, haberdashers don't haberdash, hammers don't ham, and humdingers don't humding.-- Richard Lederer (Crazy English)
It is illegal to drive more than two thousand sheep down Hollywood Boulevard at one time.
TP's 3rd Law: Any sufficiently advanced philosophical discourse is indistinguishable from bullshit.
-- TitanPoint
I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree.
Perhaps, unless the billboards fall
I'll never see a tree at all.-- Ogden Nash
He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lampposts — for support rather than illumination.-- Andrew Lang