randomsearchproposestats
142 hits
"Hey, Aeryn's gorgeous--she can change any guy's tune. She can also change 'im from tenor to soprano, but that's beside the point."
-- Grace
Education, then, beyond all other devices of human origin, is the great machinery.
-- Horace Mann
"The world is a comedy to those who think, a tragedy to those who feel."
-- Horace Walpole
Nine-tenths of the people were created so you would want to be with the other tenth.
-- Horace Walpole
"Forget all those health clinics and gyms. Sex is the best cure for everything, especially stress. If I have a good night of sex, all my problems are gone by 10 o' clock in the morning."
-- Grace Jones
Much learning does not teach understanding.
-- Heraclitus
"All children are morbid. It is their one saving grace."
-- Truman Capote
Accuracy, n: The vice of being right.
If the mind were exercised as much as the mouth, we would be a race of geniuses.
The truth is not decided by democracy.
Music is the science of manipulating emotion through sound.
-- Angus Gray
A penny saved is 2.5 grams of zinc alloy.
Can we have a new wall?
(graffiti at foot of graffiti-strewn wall)
Back of tranquility lies conquered unhappiness.
-- David Grayson
If practice makes perfect and nobody's perfect, why practice?
I don't want to be understandable. I want to be felt.
-- Martha Graham
The only good strategy is one that no one else understands.
-- Tracy Kidder
Acute Angle: A very attractive early Briton.
All that glitters has a high refractive index.
There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.
You idiots! These are not them! You've captured their stunt doubles!
-- Spaceball Officer (Spaceballs)
A dark past creates a long path back to the surface.
"...the only place for 63,000 bugs is a rain forest"
We were raised in vastly different places,/
Yet speak this uncanny similar tongue./
Sometimes we're different races./
Certainly we're different classes./
Yet our common bonds and common graces,/
Common wounds and destinations,/
Keep us closer than some married folks.
-- Judy Grahn
I want to die like my grandfather, peaceful and in my sleep - not screaming like the other people in the car.
You can't make a program without breaking some egos.
"The Schizophrenic: An Unauthorized Autobiography"
Headline: Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
"The problem with post-modernism is that you like it more if you're innumerate or illiterate; both is best."
-- Graydon
If I'm not back in five minutes, wait longer.
(Ace Ventura)
Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty.
Private faces in public places /
Are wiser and nicer /
Than public faces in private places.
-- W.H. Auden
I'm not a perfectionist. That would be a character flaw.
The difference between theory and practice is greater in practice than it is in theory.
Persuasion rules, OK? - just this once?
(graffiti in Brighton)
Cowardice rules - if that's okay with you.
(graffiti in London)
"Here's a horrible thought: You know how dumb the average person is? Well, half the human race is even dumber than that..."
Lunatic Asylum, n: The place where optimism most flourishes.
Fight for the right to pretend to work.
(graffiti, in Marylebone)
Lesbians, when only the breast will do.
(graffiti in Sydney, NSW)
"Rebellion is almost as stupid as obedience. In either case you let yourself be defined by what they tell you to do."
-- Paul Graham
VB is very useful for allowing non programmers to prove they cant program.
-- Druck
Lost: gray and white female cat. Answers to electric can opener.
Dracula: I am Count Dracula!
Yakko: Didn't you use to teach math on Sesame Street?
(Animaniacs)
A real leader faces the music, even when he doesn't like the tune.
"There is no abstract art. You must always start with something. Afterward you can remove all traces of reality."
-- Pablo Picasso
At any time, at any place, our snipers can drop you. Have a nice day.
Very few profundities can be expressed in less than 80 characters.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
-- Rich Cook
"The remarkable thing about Shakespeare is that he really is very good, in spite of all the people who say he is very good."
-- Robert Graves
"O human race, born to fly upward, wherefore at a little wind dost thou so fall?"
-- Dante Alighieri
"The disappearance of a sense of responsibility is the most far-reaching consequence of submission to authority."
-- Stanley Milgram
Peace is not the absence of war. Peace is the presence of a system for resolving conflicts before war becomes necessary. War never creates peace.
Err. I'm visualising. I'm either really scared, or really turned on.
Or both. Maybe that's a typical reaction to Skud.
-- Rebecca B. Gray
Grasshoppotamus: A creature that can leap to tremendous heights, once.
Use the best: Linux for servers, Mac for graphics, Windows for Solitaire.
"I always say it was great for God to send his only son, but I'm waiting for him to send his only daughter. Then things will be really great."
-- Candace Pert
We would often be sorry if our wishes were gratified.
-- Aesop
To be patriotic, hate all nations but your own; to be religious, all sects but your own; to be moral, all pretenses but your own.
-- Lionel Strachey
The end of the human race will be that it will eventually die of civilization.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Documentation is the castor oil of programming. Managers know it must be good because the programmers hate it so much."
"Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street."
When you strike a flowing river, no trace remains in the water.
-- O-Sensei Morehei Ueshiba
Men are like parking spaces: the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.
Customer: Cute cat. What's its name?
Randal Graves: Annoying customer.
(Clerks)
It's only by NOT taking the human race seriously that I retain what fragments of my once considerable mental powers I still possess.
-- Roger Noe
The game of Monopoly is a lot like life, except you don't get $200 for going through a green light, and you don't drive a thimble. But wouldn't it be cool if you did?
-- Craig Stacey
"Most men complacently accept 'knowledge' as 'truth.' They are sheep, ruled by fear."
-- Sydney Losstarot (Vagrant Story)
Never run from anything immortal. It only attracts their attention.
(The Last Unicorn)
Arithmetic: An obscure art no longer practiced in the world's developed countries.
Language and its absurd conjunctions;
Constellations and crustaceans rhyme.
Democracy is the form of government where everyone gets what the majority deserves.
"Men show their character in nothing more clearly than by what they find laughable."
"I want a car. Chicks dig the car."
"This is why Superman works alone."
-- Richard Grayson and Bruce Wayne (Batman & Robin)
Any research done on how to efficiently use computers has been long lost in the mad rush to upgrade systems to do things that aren't needed by people who don't understand what they are really supposed to do with them.
-- Graham Reed
Rule of Defactualization: Information deteriorates upward through bureaucracies.
Mia Wallace: "Pretty smart."
Vincent Vega: "Yeah, I got my moments."
(Pulp Fiction)
There is no CyberSpace, just a lot of people pretending.
-- Sam Kass
Alien, n: A being who travels great distances to molest our cattle and trample our grain.
"The essence of intelligence is skill in extracting meaning from everyday experience."
The nuclear arms race is like two sworn enemies standing waist deep in gasoline, one with three matches, the other with five.
-- Dr. Carl Sagan
College isn't the place to go for ideas.
-- Helen Keller
If god meant for us to program, he's a sadist.
-- Rob Earhart
Murphy's Pharmaceutcal Law:
Only Adults have difficulty with child-proof bottles.
Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.
-- Paul Biron
Practical people would be more practical if they would take a little more time for dreaming.
-- J. P. McEvoy
Silent gratitude isn't very much use to anyone.
-- G.B. Stearn
Come, let us retract the foreskin of misconception and apply the wire brush of enlightenment.
"Programming graphics in X is like finding the square root of PI using Roman numerals."
-- Henry Spencer
God has no place within these walls, just as facts have no place within organized religion.
-- Homer Simpson
In a cemetery:
"Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves."
They came. They saw. They did a little shopping.
(Graffiti on the Berlin Wall shortly after it opened)
"News" is just the stuff they use to fill up all the empty space they couldn't sell for advertising.
Most Gracious Queen we thee implore,
To go away and sin no more,
But if that effort be too great,
To go away at any rate.
-- Lord Colchester
Real programmers can write assembly code in any language.
-- Larry Wall
"This space intentionally has nothing but text explaining why this space has nothing but text explaining that this space would otherwise have been left blank, and would otherwise have been left blank."
Weinberg's Second Law: If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.
The older I get, the more I think you ever learn is either further subtleties, or further distractions.
Given the pace of technology, I propose we leave math to the machines and go play outside.
(Calvin & Hobbes)
It is practically impossible to teach good programming style to students that have had prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
-- Edsger Dijkstra
"Grand ennui" sounds so much nicer than "annoyance."
-- Eric P. Scott
"Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest."
-- Mark Twain
If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.

The rest of them will write Perl programs.
Arachnoleptic fit, n: The frantic dance performed just after you accidentally walk through a spider web.
Teacher's First Law of Grading Lab Papers: If an experiment has perfect results, the student has cheated.
The default Magic Word, Abracadabra, actually is a corruption of the Hebrew phrase ha-Bracha dab'ra which means "pronounce the blessing".
The sooner you start to code, the longer the program will take.
-- Roy Carlson
"Fast, fat computers breed slow, lazy programmers."
-- Robert Hummel
I find "Yes, you _can_ do it that way, but the rest of the Internet community will point at you and giggle", followed by my walking out in a flurry of RFCs, tends to be quite effective
-- Tanuki the Raccoon-Dog (a.s.r.)
Real programmers don't comment their code. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.
"...screws fall out all the time, sir. The world is an imperfect place."
-- Bender (Breakfast Club)
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
-- Groucho Marx
Education's purpose is to replace an open mind with a full one.
-- David Nestor
A typedef name was a complete surprise to me at this point in your program.

(Apple MPW C compiler error message)
Murphy's Eleventh Law of Computing:
A computer program will follow your orders, but rarely your intentions.
"Drive in no traffic and leave the turn signal on, it doesn't make any difference"
-- John Glenn (on why space would be a good place for seniors to live)
Practical philosophy: The glass is neither half empty nor half full. It is twice as large as it needs to be.
"Propaganda is to democracy what violence is to totalitarianism."
-- Noam Chomsky
Now you see that evil will always triumph, because good is dumb.
-- Dark Helmet (Spaceballs)
"She's a Grade A, Class One, Turbo-driven Fruitcake."
-- Barbara Ellen (on Tori Amos)
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
-- Will Rogers
"In matters of conscience, the law of majority has no place."
-- Mahatma Gandhi
Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers.
-- Leonard Brandwein
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
-- Gloria Leonard
"The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places."
-- Hemingway
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
-- Albert Einstein
"I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her."
-- Ellen DeGeneres
"I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing."
-- Agatha Christie
Bureaucracy is the enemy of innovation.
-- Mark Shepherd (former CEO of Texas Instruments)
Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.
-- H. L. Mencken
Democracy according to the NRA: Firearms are necessary to protect individual liberties; most of all the right to own firearms.
Real Programmers never work from 9 to 5. If any real programmer is around at 9 a.m., it's because they were up all night.
-- Some computer geek
Spirtle, n: The fine stream from a grapefruit that always lands right in your eye.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")
Practical or mean and sneaky? - getting a permanent heart tatoo on your arm and getting three-day temporary tatoos for the names.
Beepilepsy, n: Aflicts those with vibrating pagers characterized by sudden spasms, goofy facial expressions and loss of speech
"A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation."
-- H. H. Munro (Saki)
"Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words."
-- Dorothy Parker
"Any idiot can face a crisis - it's this day-to-day living that wears you out."
-- Anton Chekhov
Since before the Earth was formed and before the sun burned hot in space, cosmic forces of inexorable power have been working relentlessly toward this moment in space-time -- you receiving this fortune.
"Colleges are places where pebbles are polished and diamonds are dimmed."
-- R.S. Ingersoll
You wouldn't know a good time if it stripped naked, hopped on your face, and started wiggling!
-- C. Stanley
Magnocartic, adj: Any automobile that, when left unattended, attracts shopping carts.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")