randomsearchproposestats
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"You should be kissed, and often, and by someone who knows how."
(Gone With the Wind)
And the pickles frolicked with the waffles, joyously.
"Play with each other. Play with yourselves. Just don't play with the squirrels, they bite."
"A child prodigy is one with highly imaginative parents."
Even if you're paranoid, maybe the guy with the chainsaw really is after you.
Always play with their minds.
-- Lucas (Empire Records)
Q: What's tiny and yellow and very, very, dangerous?
A: A canary with the super-user password.
"There is nothing wrong with the software that rm won't cure."
-- Arnie Romo
Rhetorical subtlety doesn't work on people with the perceptive powers of an eggplant.
-- Spencer Sun
Nine-tenths of the people were created so you would want to be with the other tenth.
-- Horace Walpole
In Taiwan, the translation of the Pepsi slogan "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" came out as "Pepsi will bring your ancestors back from the dead."
No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy.
-- Henry Kissinger
Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
-- Jules Renord
"If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat."
-- Mark Twain
"The murals in restaurants are on a par with the food in museums."
-- Peter De Vries
Accordion, n: A bagpipe with pleats.
The nuclear arms race is like two sworn enemies standing waist deep in gasoline, one with three matches, the other with five.
-- Dr. Carl Sagan
"Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished."
-- Goethe
It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.
-- Emerson
"My work always tried to unite the true with the beautiful; but when I had to choose one or the other, I usually chose the beautiful."
-- Hermann Weyl
"Al Gore attacks with the agility of a pregnant cow!"
-- Celebrity Deathmatch
The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.
-- Henry David Thoreau
Anybody that wants the presidency so much that he would spend two years campaigning and organizing for it should not be trusted with the office.
"Sometimes the need to mess with their heads outweighs the millstone of humiliation."
-- Fox Mulder (The X-Files)
...people with a moebius strip of a mind...
Is it red or white wine with Tokyo?
-- David Adler as Godzilla
Clique: A group of insiders who greet outsiders with their backsides; a closed circle of asses.
(Cynic's Dictionary)
There has been opposition to every innovation in the history of man, with the possible exception of the sword.
-- Benjamin Dana
"Confronted with the choice, the American people would choose the policeman's truncheon over the anarchist's bomb.
-- Spiro T. Agnew
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so sure of themselves but wiser people are full of doubts.
-- Bertrand Russell
"I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions --but I don't always agree with them."
-- George Bush Sr. (US President)
Maybe that explains Perl: Larry Wall let a kitten have its way with the bash, sed, and expr doc, then implemented the result.
-- Jay Maynard
Funny. All the wireless people seem to be the marionettes.
All New: The software is not compatible with any previous version.
X-Chromosome: A genetic double-cross that empowers women with the ability to bear children and reserves for men the right to be color-blind hemophiliacs.
(Cynic's Dictionary)
"When people are bored, it is primarily with their own selves that they are bored."
-- Eric Hoffer
Why do people settle their minds? When they see or while they know that about 3 billion other people don't agree with them, why do they hardly consider a serious talk with one of them?
Never wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, and the pig likes it.
A man with one watch knows what time it is; a man with two watches is never quite sure.
There is much to be said in favor of modern journalism. By giving us the opinions of the uneducated, it keeps us in touch with the ignorance of the community.
-- Oscar Wilde
"They are wrong who say that love is blind. On the contrary, nothing - not even the smallest detail - escapes the eyes; one sees everything in the loved one, notices everything; but melts it all into one flame with the great and simple: �I love you.�"
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
-- Mark Twain
For a long time it puzzled me how something so expensive, so leading edge, could be so useless, and then it occurred to me that a computer is a stupid machine with the ability to do incredibly smart things, while computer programmers are smart people with the ability to do incredibly stupid things. They are, in short, a perfect match.
-- Bill Bryson
"I think all the boys that write the screaming stuff would write the best love songs... because they have the most to hide. The guys that are in the most pain are usually the ones with the biggest hearts."
-- Tori Amos
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
-- Susan Ertz
"If pigs could vote, the man with the slop bucket would be elected swineherd everytime, no matter how much slaughtering he did on the side."
-- Orson Scott Card
"What's with today, today?"
-- Lucas (Empire Records)
I wouldn't touch the Metric System with a 3.048m pole.
"The great nations have always acted like gangsters, and the small nations like prostitutes."
-- Stanley Kubrick (in an interview with The Guardian, 5th June 1963)
Philosophy is a game with objectives and no rules. Mathematics is a game with rules and no objectives.
And so, the children of the revolution were faced with the age-old problem: it wasn't that you had the wrong kind of government, which was obvious, but that you had the wrong kind of people.
-- Terry Pratchett (Night Watch)
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, 'Make me one with everything.'
-- Robin Williams (Bicentennial man)
Don't you think that with the proper amount of manpower, pliers, ropes, belts and duct tape, you actually COULD lead a horse to water AND make it drink?
-- Andy Overman
Anyone with a bit of intelligence and enough perseverance could do magic, which was why the wizards cloaked it with rituals and the whole pointy-hat business.

The trick was to do magic and get away with it.
-- Terry Pratchett (Moving Pictures)
"A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention in human history, with the possible exception of handguns and tequila."
-- Mitch Radcliffe
"Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial 'we'."
-- Mark Twain
The future exists first in the imagination, then in the will, then in reality.
First law of debate: Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.
The value of the Constitution depends on the good will of government itself. If the Supreme Court rules that the Bill of Rights should not interfere with the important business of government (which they have done on at least two occasions), then the Constitution is meaningless.
-- John Kormylo
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.
"The Camden Aquarium, in defense of sharks, has a placard stating that the most lethal wild animal in the US is deer. (Their mode of attack is to stand in your headlights, and then launch their dead or crippled bodies through the windscreen into your lap)."
"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have is that I didn't study my Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people."
-- Dan Quayle