114 hits
The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears.
I thought I was in love once, and then later I thought maybe it was just an inner-ear imbalance.-- Fraser (Due South)
They say that every man has a price at which he'll do anything. I like to think it's the other way around; every man has a line, a line he won't cross over, no matter what the cost.-- Fraser Sr. (Due South)
I'd love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.
Thinking: The talking of the soul with itself.-- Plato
God must love assholes--she made so many of them.
Maybe cybergoths are just cyberpunks who get laid.-- Sourcerer
"Que sera, seratonin! (Meep.)"-- Mercy
If the brain were so simple that we could understand it, we would be so simple that we couldn't.
In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.
All New: The software is not compatible with any previous version.
Old age and treachery will beat youth and skill every time. (A coffee cup)
The only way to amuse some people is to slip and fall on an icy pavement.
I'm tired of being this pristine little socially acceptable monstrosity
pride is not the opposite of shame, but its source
We would often be sorry if our wishes were gratified.-- Aesop
...problems continue in the South African black townships. Four people were killed in violent clashes yesterday. A black spokesman said - this situation is a tragedy for our people; we get no help from the government; blacks are dying and all the whites can do is talk about cricket. [very brief pause] last night at the Sydney Cricket Ground, the South African cricket team defeated Australia in the day-night match... (A(ustralian)BC-FM news)
If the mind were exercised as much as the mouth, we would be a race of geniuses.
"There is no cause so right that one cannot find a fool following it." (Niven's Law #16)
Confession is good for the soul only in the sense that a tweed coat is good for dandruff.-- Peter de Vries
Stenderup's law: The sooner you fall behind, the more time you will have to catch up.
Nowadays, originality is the art of concealing your source.
There are people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying.
"It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets."-- Voltaire
I like the kind of people that can hold on to the the feeling they have after the song or movie ends.
Bees are very busy souls
They have no time for birth controls
And that is why in times like these
There are so many Sons of Bees.
"To call war the soil of courage and virtue is like calling debauchery the soil of love."-- George Santayana
"There is nothing wrong with the software that rm won't cure."-- Arnie Romo
The sweetest of all sounds is praise.-- Xenophon
The sooner you start to code, the longer the program will take.-- Roy Carlson
"I have so many different personalities in me, and I still feel lonely."-- Tori Amos
I have so little sex appeal that my gynecologist calls me 'sir.'-- Joan Rivers
There are three sorts of despots. There is the despot who tyrannizes over the body. There is the despot who tyrannizes over the soul. There is the despot who tyrannizes over the soul and body alike. The first is called the Prince. The second is called the Pope. The third is called the People.-- Oscar Wilde
It is better to waste one's youth, than to do nothing at all with it.-- Courteline
Belief is that which explains that we cannot reason. Therefore it is almost impossible to change someone's belief.
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.-- Steven Wright
Occam's eraser: The philosophical principle that even the simplest solution is bound to have something wrong with it.
"Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems."-- Homer Simpson
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.-- Steven Wright
He was just... well, like a lot of madmen. Somewhat accurate view of the problem, really insane view of the solution. (Kid Radd)
"We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?"-- Bumper sticker
Glamour is that indefinable something about a girl who has a large bosom.-- Andy Rothman
"I hate it when people quote the Bible to defend themselves, because it's not like Jesus wrote the Bible. His friends did. And you know how your friends always fuck up stories. Jesus is probably like, 'I didn't walk on water. You were drunk, and I was in a puddle.'"-- S.L. Pouthier
I've always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific.-- Lily Tomlin
"For every problem, there is one solution which is simple, neat and wrong."-- H. L. Mencken
"Art, like morality, consists of drawing the line somewhere."-- G. K. Chesterton
Technology is a way of organizing the universe so that man doesn't have to experience it.-- Max Frisch
Words skittered out of his mouth like cartoon dogs on fresh-waxed linoleum, frantically going nowhere.-- Amy Tan
"Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum viditur." (Whatever is said in Latin sounds profound.)
Frisbeetarianism: the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
Law of Cat Landing:
A cat will always land in the softest place possible; often the mid-section of an unsuspecting, reclining human.
The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from.-- Andy Tanenbaum
The applied mathematician can find the solution to any difficulty, whilst the pure mathematician can find the difficulty to any solution.
There are lots of things I'd like to be someday, but "normal" is definitely not one of them.-- Nelson Minar
"Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise. Seek what they sought"-- Basho
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Rincewind rather enjoyed times like this. They convinced him that he wasn't mad because, if he was mad, that left no word at all to describe some of the people he met.-- Terry Pratchett (Sourcery)
People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war or before an election.-- Otto von Bismarck
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
It is not difference which immobilizes us, but silence. And there are so many silences to be broken.-- Audre Lorde
Music is the science of manipulating emotion through sound.-- Angus Gray
"The thing that I'm into is the philosophy of the music. I love the surprise of things, the accidents--just the sound of a word, to try to express them in the best way, so that the emotion is totally revealed."-- Beth Gibbons
"Do not bend the spoon, instead realize the truth."
"The truth?"
"That the spoon effect will be added later by some sort of SGI workstation."
"It's foolish to be prejudiced. There are so many reasons to hate people on an individual basis."-- Dennis Miller
"When I meet God, I'm gonna ask him one question: Why did you make me so unattractive, yet so horny?"-- Lindsay Acord
"Grand ennui" sounds so much nicer than "annoyance."-- Eric P. Scott
You're probably the sort who would have Dorothy arrested for throwing water on the Wicked Witch of the West.-- Eric Holeman
Don't talk to me about the public not being able to stomach the abnormal, man -- most people get too used to lying to themselves about anything uncomfortable at so early an age that they themselves are not a reliable source.-- Susan Juroff
"Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength."
"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."-- Groucho Marx
Many a man fails to become a thinker for the sole reason that his memory is too good.-- Friedrich Nietzsche
"I sound like a fruitcake sitting here saying all this shit."-- Trent Reznor
It's strange that men should take up crime when there are so many legal ways to be dishonest.-- Sunshine magazine
"When your world looks kind of mean, and you wish that you weren't there.... Just close your eyes and look beneath, and you can be anywhere...." (Muppet Babies Theme Song)
"The secret of the demagogue is to make himself as stupid as his audience so that they will believe they are as clever as he."-- Karl Kraus
"They call him the Sand Spider"
"Why do they call him that?"
"Probably because it sounds scary." (True Lies)
Apparently a real radio transcript conversation off the coast of Newfoundland.
Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees the South to avoid a collision.
Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees the North to avoid a collision.
Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.
Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.
Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, I SAY AGAIN, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.
Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.
The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.-- Henry David Thoreau
"The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently."-- Nietzsche
"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation."-- Oscar Wilde
Those who do not remember history are doomed to sound silly.-- Carole Ashmore
"You assist an evil system most effectively by obeying its orders and decrees. An evil system never deserves such allegiance. Allegiance to it means partaking of the evil. A good person will resist an evil system with his or her whole soul."-- Mahatma Gandhi
Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have trained for years and years can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.
The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed.-- Albert Einstein
"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked.'"-- Jerry Seinfeld
Dot: Do you think Scratchy'd like some cologne?
Fifi: We have "Obsession", "Repression", and "Ecstacy".
Dot: Do you have anything for beginners? (Animaniacs; Survey Ladies)
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.-- Douglas Adams
Last night you were unhinged. You were like some desperate, howling demon. You frightened me.
...do it again.-- Morticia Addams
Any member introducing a dog into the Society's premises shall be liable to a fine of one pound. Any animal leading a blind person shall be deemed a cat. (Rule 46, Oxford Union Society, London)
Aardvark: Like an anteater, but harder to spell, the aardvark hangs around South American locations getting to know the local ant population, and attempting genocide on them. Well recognised for its long snout, with which it sucks up said unfortunate ants, the aardvark is best known for that bit in Tintin where it cleans up Captain Haddock's face. The Aardvark was originally named by Spanish Explorer Aaron Varkinos in 1533. [See also: Ant]-- Daniel Bowen (Toxic Custarpedia)
It was irritating to have one's physical shortcomings pointed out quite so plainly twice in one evening, once by a beautiful girl and once by a dying badger.-- Tom Holt
"Success in almost any field depends more on energy and drive than it does on intelligence. This explains why we have so many stupid leaders."-- Sloan Wilson
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.-- Elizabeth Taylor
The good critic is he who narrates the adventures of his soul among masterpieces.-- Anatole France
Einstein argued that there must be simplified explanations of nature, because God is not capricious or arbitrary. No such faith comforts the software engineer.-- Fred Brooks
Every time I have to pipe something into awk I get this mental picture of a big fat seagull with stdin connected at the wrong end.-- Arther van der Harg (a.s.r.)
"Personally, I think choosing between men and women is like choosing between cake and ice cream. You'd have to be daft not to try both when there are so many flavours."-- Björk