46 hits
"Question Authority. They usually know where the bathroom is."-- Daria
Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
Headline: Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
"Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Become a Librarian."
Pedestrian, n: The variable (and audible) part of the roadway for an automobile.
Daria: I believe in coffee, coffee for everyone. But I don't want to sell chocolate anymore. It makes me feel dirty.
Jane: The bad kind of dirty. (Daria)
The standard you walk past is the standard you accept.
"With increased knowledge comes an increased capacity for pain. So if ignorance is bliss, enlightenment must be pure hell."-- Darien Fawkes (The Invisible Man)
Darth Vader sleeps with a Teddywookie.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.-- Marianne Williamson (A Return to Love)
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act, but a habit.-- Aristotle
It says a lot about the US when they ban lawn darts but you can still buy semi-automatic weapons in a department store.-- Brian Manz
Frisbeetarianism: the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
You ain't inebriated if you can still spell it.
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.-- Gloria Leonard
"They say necessity is the mother of invention. And when the necessity is survival, she can be one mean mother. Of course, it's her child, invention, who's the real dangerous one."-- Darien Fawkes (The Invisible Man)
"I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants."-- A. Whitney Brown
What do people mean when they say the computer went down on them?-- Marilyn Pittman
It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.-- Aristotle
A dark past creates a long path back to the surface.
"Greek mythology says that whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad. I'd never been sure whether 'mad' meant crazy or angry. Either way, the gods were working on me pretty good right now."-- Darien Fawkes (The Invisible Man)
"Make lots of money", "enjoy the work", "operate within the law": choose 2-- Brian Anderson
"If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough."-- Mario Andretti
Patageometry, n: The study of those mathematical properties that are invariant under brain transplants.
I think it's a beautiful day to go to the zoo and feed the ducks.
To the lions.-- Brian Kantor (the SDM)
Sure, when... - OINK FLAP OINK FLAP - Well I'll be darned!
Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity.
Your powers are useless, I'm wearing tin foil underwear!
"Propaganda is to democracy what violence is to totalitarianism."-- Noam Chomsky
"Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear."
Funny. All the wireless people seem to be the marionettes.
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.-- Clarence Darrow
Vegetarians are people who cannot hear tomatos screaming.-- Joseph Campbell
If you're going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now.-- Marie Osmond
I'm extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end.
Call me a wacky conservative, but I believe that sex toys should be easily differentiated from Pez dispensers.-- Victoria Swann
Insecurity is comparing our behind the scenes to others highlight reel.
A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a simple system that worked.-- John Gall ("Systemantics")
"There are really not many jobs that actually require a penis or a vagina, and all other occupations should be open to everyone."-- Gloria Steinem