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“I speak two languages: Body and English.”-- Mae West
A writer is someone who writes, and a stinger is something that stings. But fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, haberdashers don't haberdash, hammers don't ham, and humdingers don't humding.-- Richard Lederer (Crazy English)
"The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary."-- James D. Nicoll
Love your enemies: they'll go crazy trying to figure out what you're up to.
A genius is just a crazy person with an audience-- Tim Minchin
If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.
[Not to mention, butterfly would be flutterby. Ed.]-- Doug Larson
"I may be crazy.
But I can fly."
Boss, n.: According to the Oxford English Dictionary, in the Middle Ages the words 'boss' and 'botch' were largely synonymous, except that boss, in addition to meaning 'a supervisor of workers' also meant 'an ornamental stud.'
Mind you, the Elizabethans had so many words for the female genitals that it is quite hard to speak a sentence of modern English without inadvertently mentioning at least three of them.-- Terry Pratchett (alt.fan.pratchett)
"When I say "You sucked my brain out", the english translation is "I am in love with you, and it is no fun". But I don't use words like love, cuz words like that don't matter. But don't look so offended, you know you should be flattered."-- Ani Difranco
A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day.
"In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."
A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."
Additional: Our biggest enemy is going space crazy through loneliness. The only thing that helps me maintain my slender grip on reality is the friendship I share with my collection of singing potatoes.-- Holly (Red Dwarf II, Queeg)