50 hits
It says a lot about the US when they ban lawn darts but you can still buy semi-automatic weapons in a department store.-- Brian Manz
"Make lots of money", "enjoy the work", "operate within the law": choose 2-- Brian Anderson
I think it's a beautiful day to go to the zoo and feed the ducks.
To the lions.-- Brian Kantor (the SDM)
Erotica is stuff that's meant to be read with one hand.-- Carl Manz
Be warned that being an expert is more than understanding how a system is supposed to work. Expertise is gained by investigating why a system doesn't work.-- Brian Redman
"Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities"
Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
Sometimes I wish I had a knob to turn up the intelligence on the Internet. I have one on my monitor marked brightness, but it doesn't seem to work very well, does it?-- Bryan Manske
Headline: Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What do people mean when they say the computer went down on them?-- Marilyn Pittman
Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug it.-- Brian Kernighan
Take my word for it, the silliest woman can manage a clever man, but it needs a very clever woman to manage a fool.-- Kipling
When someone mentions "the City" in my presence, I usually interpret it to mean exciting Charlton, Ontario (pop. 200, including cows). Anyone who uses expressions so vague deserves to be misinterpreted on a biblical scale.-- Brian Jarvis
Renning's Maxim: Man is the highest animal. Man does the classifying.
An idea isn't responsible for the people who believe in it.-- Don Marquis
Life is too short not to be horny on main
"If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat."-- Mark Twain
The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them.-- Mark Twain
You ain't inebriated if you can still spell it.
A man with one watch knows what time it is; a man with two watches is never quite sure.
So many idiots, so few meteors.
"No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes she were not."-- H.L. Mencken
A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.
A man without God is like a fish without a skateboard.
Great Lover, n: A man who can breathe through his ears.
The primary difference between a man and a woman is that a man gets his self-esteem when a woman says "yes" and a woman gets hers when she says "no". (Amy's Orgasm)
When man calls an animal "vicious", he usually means that it will attempt to defend itself when he tries to kill it.
Headline: Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
If I can make just one person laugh, then it must've been a pretty good eulogy.-- Wade Kwon
Some women get excited about nothing, and then marry him.
"To create man was a fine and original idea; but to add the sheep was tautology."-- Mark Twain
"I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants."-- A. Whitney Brown
"Nothing in man is more serious than his sense of humor; it is the sign that he wants all the truth."-- Mark Van Doren
"Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Become a Librarian."
"A hard man is good to find."-- Mae West
Education, then, beyond all other devices of human origin, is the great machinery.-- Horace Mann
If you can't take the heat, don't tickle the dragon.-- Scott Fahlman
Love is like pi: natural, irrational and very important.-- Lisa Hoffman
Computers save man a lot of guesswork, but then, so do bikini's.
Poetry is the mixture of common sense, which not all have, with an uncommon sense, which very few have.-- John Masefield
Christ: A man who was born at least 5,000 years ahead of his time.
The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it.-- Abbie Hoffman
"All children are morbid. It is their one saving grace."-- Truman Capote