133 hits
2, 3, 3, 37 - the prime factorization of the beast.
Music soothes the savage beast. ...unless it's polka.
"How else am I to get you to treat me like a man of weight and substance unless I act as morally perturbed and angst-ridden as everyone else in this room?"-- Beast (X-Men comic)
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
Christ: A man who was born at least 5,000 years ahead of his time.
Schizophrenia beats being alone.
The sun is like breasts - risky to look at unless you've got sunglasses.
The more we disagree, the bigger the chance that at least one of us is right.
People often find it easier to be a result of the past than a cause of the future.
Procrastination will rule one day, OK?
Colorless green ideas sleep furiously.
The voters have spoken, the bastards...
If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.-- Paul Beatty
"Theory: when you have ideas. Ideology: when ideas have you."
A great nation is any mob of people which produces at least one honest man a century.
The goal of Computer Science is to build something that will last at least until we've finished building it.
Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
Be careful of the closeness of the signs lunch and lesbian. If you sign, "I'm hungry, let's eat lesbians", you should be sure that's what you meant.-- Steve Eastman
He who laughs last found the dirty meaning.
Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder.
Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
Reality can be beaten with enough imagination.
Love ceases to be a pleasure, when it ceases to be a secret.-- Aphra Behn
"Simple pleasures are the last refuge of the complex."-- Oscar Wilde
"We need a president who's fluent in at least one language."-- Buck Henry
Life is a sexually transmitted, fatal disease...
A poet is someone who is astonished by everything.
A dark past creates a long path back to the surface.
The standard you walk past is the standard you accept.
There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.
Headline: Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty.
He who laughs last probably didn't understand the joke.
Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.-- Steven Wright
When a metric becomes a target, it ceases to be a good metric
"You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her."
Choconiverous, adj: Biting off the head of the chocolate Easter bunny first.-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")
Jack Benny played Mendelssohn last night. Mendelssohn lost.
C Code.
C Code Run.
Run, Code, RUN!
PLEASE!!!!
Life is like a beautiful melody, only the lyrics are messed up.
The definition of easy work is work that someone else has to do.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
What part of "AWW C'MON, PLEASE??" don't you understand? (T-Shirt)
If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.
* St-Lemur puts pasta next to antipasti
<KCaesar> You FOOL! You'll kill us all! (bash.org)
"Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong answers."
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.-- Goethe
Old age and treachery will beat youth and skill every time. (A coffee cup)
That your decision was right doesn't in any way mean your reasons were.
On the sexes:
Brains times Beauty times Availability = Constant.
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.-- Oscar Wilde
It's not how fast you run, or how high you jump. It's how well you bounce.
At a doctors office in Rome:
"Specialist in women and other diseases"
A committee is an alley down which good ideas are lead and quietly strangled
Natural selection won't matter soon, not anywhere as much as conscious selection. We will civilize and alter ourselves to suit our ideas of what we can be. Within one more human lifespan, we will have changed ourselves unrecognizably.-- Greg Bear
"I like to go to the beach and bury metal objects that say 'get a life' on them"
"Life was so much easier when your clothes didn't match and boys had cooties"
"Bad habits are like a comfortable bed, easy to get into, but hard to get out of."
Nothing is better than Sex.
Masturbation is better than nothing.
Therefore, Masturbation is better than Sex.
Every man is a damn fool for at least five minutes every day; wisdom consists of not exceeding the limit.-- Elbert Hubbard
It's easier to get forgiveness for being wrong than forgiveness for being right.
"I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?"-- Jean Kerr
My life has a superb cast but I can't figure out the plot.
-Ashleigh Brilliant
It will be generally found that those who sneer habitually at human nature and affect to despise it, are among its worst and least pleasant examples.-- Charles Dickens
Never run from anything immortal. It only attracts their attention. (The Last Unicorn)
Murphy's Seventh Law of Computing:
He who laughs last probably made a back-up.
Sign in a hotel elevator in Paris:
"Please leave your values at the front desk."
I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
"He that will not reason is a bigot, He that cannot reason is a fool, He that dares not reason is a slave."-- William Drummond
Q: Why did the astrophysicist order three hamburgers?
A: Because he was hungry.
"The first 80% of software development is the easy part. The hard part is the next 80%"
It is always easy to see both sides of an issue we are not particularly concerned about.
"Making the simple complicated is easy. Making the complicated simple is brilliant."
Nationalism is an infantile disease. It is the measles of mankind.-- Albert Einstein
Politicians should be changed frequently, like diapers - and for much the same reason.
Study the past, if you would divine the future.-- Confucius
When I was your age I...wait, I can't tell that story, it's wildly inappropriate. Which, oddly enough, is my point. Don't you want wildly inappropriate stories that you can't tell your children?-- Castle
The past does not repeat itself, but it rhymes.-- Mark Twain
"I have to find a way of saying the truth without saying it; that is exactly what is literature, after all: clever lies which only secretly say the truth."-- Simone de Beauvoir
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.
Is not that the nature of men and women--that the pleasure is in the learning of each other?
Motrin and espresso. The breakfast of champions.-- Sweet Poly
Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
"There is a pleasure sure in being mad which none but madmen know."-- Dryden
This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.-- Oscar Wilde
If a tree falls in a forest and lands on a politician, even if you can't hear the tree or the screams, I'll bet you'd at least hear the applause.-- Paul Tindale
Bozone, n: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating.
Proof by omission: The reader may easily supply the details. The other 253 cases are analogous.
"Pretty is something you're born with. But beautiful, that's an equal opportunity adjective."
For an instant I think I saw. I saw the loneliness of man as a gigantic wave which had been frozen in front of me, held back by the invisible wall of a metaphor.-- Carlos Casteneda
"Shouldn't we be carefully placing these comics in plastic bags?"
"No, we have lives." (MST3K)
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft building progress by weight.-- Bill Gates
"Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd."-- Voltaire
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
"Debugging is anticipated with distaste, performed with reluctance, and bragged about forever."
The advantage of emotions is that they lead us astray.-- Oscar Wilde
I have never seen anything fill up a vacuum so fast and still suck.-- Rob Pike (on X)
We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospection.-- Anais Nin
Theists think all gods but theirs are false. Atheists simply don't make an exception for the last one.
"Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative."-- Oscar Wilde
"In all our searching, the only thing we found that makes the emptiness bearable, is each other" (Contact)
Is there no accounting for taste? There isn't even a budget for it.-- Sean Levy
In the past, men created witches; now they create mental patients.-- Tom Szasz
"Whoever ceases to be a student has never been a student."-- George Iles
"I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch."-- Gilda Radner
Critics think that things should be done in good taste. Most people think that things should just taste good.-- Gene Simmons
"Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest."-- Mark Twain
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.-- Andy Rooney
The definition of a beautiful woman is one who loves me.-- Sloan Wilson
There's no problem so large it can't be solved by killing the user off, deleting their files, closing their account and reporting their REAL earnings to the IRS.-- Bastard Operator From Hell
"Without freedom from the past, there is no freedom at all, because the mind is never new, fresh, innocent."
"Fast, fat computers breed slow, lazy programmers."-- Robert Hummel
"It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them."-- Fred Adler
Commitment can be illustrated by a breakfast of ham and eggs. The chicken was involved; the pig was committed.
It is better to waste one's youth, than to do nothing at all with it.-- Courteline
Sexuality does not "turn on" at puberty and "turn off" at menopause. It is not a thing external, no matter how hard our culture teaches us to push it away. It is every bit as integral and fundamental the day you're born as it is the day you die.-- David Casti