43 hits
(A)bort (R)etry (T)oss computer across room?
Guru, n: A computer owner who can read the manual.
Real Programmers never work from 9 to 5. If any real programmer is around at 9 a.m., it's because they were up all night.-- Some computer geek
You can tell how far we have to go when FORTRAN is the language of supercomputers.-- Steven Feiner
We think in language, therefore the quality of our thoughts can only ever be as good as the quality of our language.-- George Carlin
C++, the language in which only friends can access your private members.
“I speak two languages: Body and English.”-- Mae West
"The learned fool writes his nonsense in better language than the unlearned, but still 'tis nonsense."-- Benjamin Franklin
Computer Science without FORTRAN and COBOL is like birthday cake without ketchup and mustard.
Computers save man a lot of guesswork, but then, so do bikini's.
Real programmers can write assembly code in any language.-- Larry Wall
"We need a president who's fluent in at least one language."-- Buck Henry
Murphy's Eleventh Law of Computing:
A computer program will follow your orders, but rarely your intentions.
Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window.-- Steve Wozniak
The goal of Computer Science is to build something that will last at least until we've finished building it.
[Perl] isn't a programming language, it's a thousand special case rules flying in close formation.-- Peter da Silva
Language and its absurd conjunctions;
Constellations and crustaceans rhyme.
I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain.-- Lily Tomlin
On-line, adj: The idea that a human being should always be accessible to a computer.
What do people mean when they say the computer went down on them?-- Marilyn Pittman
"The computer world is like a great big toy store. But all the toys are broken."-- Steve Witham
Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer.
BASIC, n.:
A programming language. Related to certain social diseases in that those who have it will not admit it in polite company.
"It is no coincidence that in no known language does the phrase 'as pretty as an airport' exist."-- Douglas Adams
"Fast, fat computers breed slow, lazy programmers."-- Robert Hummel
Nobody's gonna believe that computers are intelligent until they start coming in late and lying about it.
"The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary."-- James D. Nicoll
"A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention in human history, with the possible exception of handguns and tequila."-- Mitch Radcliffe
"The computer programmer is a creator of universes for which he alone is responsible. Universes of virtually unlimited complexity can be created in the form of computer programs."-- Joseph Weizenbaum
We may begin to see reality differently simply because the computer ... provides a different angle on reality.-- Heinz Pagels
To some extent any use of language (and conceptual categories) distorts reality by coercing instances into types.-- Rob Bernardo
"I really didn't foresee the Internet. But then, neither did the computer industry. Not that that tells us very much of course - the computer industry didn't even foresee that the century was going to end."-- Douglas Adams
C, n.: A programming language that is sort of like Pascal except more like assembly except that it isn't very much like either one, or anything else. It is either the best language available to the art today, or it isn't.-- Ray Simard
"Philosophy is a battle against the bewitchment of our intelligence by means of language."-- Ludwig Wittgenstein
Well, there's a quantum computer that can factor [the number] 15, so those of you using 4-bit RSA should worry.-- Bruce Schneier
"Language is a city to the building of which every human being brought a stone."-- Mark Twain