randomsearchproposestats
135 hits
Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to become comfortable?
-- Mia (Pulp Fiction)
Proof by intimidation: 'Trivial'.
Blow your mind - smoke dynamite.
Breakfast is the most important meal of the afternoon.
-- Amelia T. Smith
"Laws are made for us; we are not made for the laws.
-- William Milonoff
Mia Wallace: "Pretty smart."
Vincent Vega: "Yeah, I got my moments."
(Pulp Fiction)
Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity.
Success can corrupt; usefulness can only exalt.
-- Dimitri Mitropoulos
Never eat more than you can lift.
-- Miss Piggy
Economics exists merely to employ economists.
Hermits have no peer pressure.
The fun with white chocolate macadamia nut cookies is telling which white fatty substance is which. I can't.
Schizophrenia beats being alone.
"Question Authority. They usually know where the bathroom is."
-- Daria
The military don't start wars. Politicians start wars.
-- William Westmoreland
Ad: Vacation special: Have your home exterminated. Get rid of aunts.
Human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind.
-- William James
Propaganda - A socially correct goose
"Words sound stupid--look into my eyes."
-- Michael Stipe
A genius is just a crazy person with an audience
-- Tim Minchin
Nurture your mind with great thoughts.

-- Benjamin Disraeli
"All I want is a warm bed and a kind word and unlimited power."
-- Ashleigh Brilliant
"I don't have any solution, but I certainly admire the problem."
-- Ashleigh Brilliant
Call on God, but row away from the rocks.
-- Indian proverb
"Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives."
-- William Dement
Organic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon compounds.
Biochemistry is the study of carbon compounds that crawl.
-- Mike Adams
A sufficiently optimistic statement is indistinguishable from social sycophancy.
Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
"Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life."
-- Michael Sinz
"Men are more apt to be mistaken in their generalizations than in their particular observations."
-- Machiavelli
"Man gazing at the stars is proverbially at the mercy of the puddles in the road."
-- Alexander Smith
Linux is free only if your time has no value.
-- Jamie Zawinski
"I'm a nymphomaniac of the heart."
-- Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Mirth prolongeth life and causeth health.
Microsoft: Re-inventing the square wheel.
Most religions do not make men better, only warier.
-- Elias Canetti
Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window.
-- Steve Wozniak
Absence of proof is not proof of absence.
-- Michael Crichton
War does not determine who is right, war determines who is left.
"Familiarity breeds contempt--and children."
-- Mark Twain
Try to relax and enjoy the crisis.
-- Ashleigh Brilliant
Ad Nauseam: Commercials that make you puke.
Headline: Miners Refuse to Work after Death
...people with a moebius strip of a mind...
"It isn't premarital sex if you don't get married."
-- Michael Juster
"May we all stay crazy and live the bitchin' life!"
-- Robin Williams
Criticism? An artist wants praise. Praise.
-- Virginia Woolf
"In the U.S. you have to be a deviant or exist in extreme boredom...Make no mistake; all intellectuals are deviants in the U.S."
-- William Burroughs
Begin somewhere; you cannot build a reputation on what you intend to do.
-- Liz Smith
"One person can trigger a million thoughts."
If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
They don't make nostalgia like they used to.
I don't know much about morality but I know what I shouldn't like.
-- Tim Minchin
Watching these guys trying to be wireheads is like watching old people fuck
-- Mike Belt
"We need a new cosmology. New Gods. New Sacraments. Another drink."
-- Patti Smith
"I'm often silent when I'm screaming inside."
Among economists, the real world is often a special case.
-- Horngren
It says a lot about the US when they ban lawn darts but you can still buy semi-automatic weapons in a department store.
-- Brian Manz
My sources are unreliable, but their information is fascinating.
-- Ashleigh Brilliant
I tried marijuana once. I did not inhale.
-- William J. Clinton
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Machine learning, n: Automation of your biases
Knowledge is often mistaken for intelligence. This is like mistaking a cup of milk for a cow.
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
-- Gloria Leonard
"I like the word 'indolence'. It makes my laziness seem classy."
-- Bern Williams
"Early morning cheerfulness can be extremely obnoxious."
-- William Feather
You ain't inebriated if you can still spell it.
If you aren't fired with enthusiasm, you will be fired with enthusiasm.
Seminars, n.: From `semi' and `arse', hence, any half-assed discussion.
"The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places."
-- Hemingway
"I understand your question and the answer is 'You're thinking too hard.'"
-- Jose Garcia
If common sense was so common then everyone would have it.
-- Steve Giammarco
Life is a sexually transmitted, fatal disease...
Love thine enemies... it really pisses them off.
Nothing is so smiple that it can't be screwed up.
You never know what is enough until you know what is more than enough.
-- William Blake
"It is much easier to be critical than to be correct."
-- Benjamin Disraeli
There is no salvation in becoming adapted to a world which is crazy.
-- Henry Miller ("The Colossus of Maroussi", 1941)
"Bother," said the Borg, "We've assimilated Pooh."
I am Dyslexic of Borg. Your ass will be laminated.
"Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know."
-- Ernest Hemingway
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, 'Make me one with everything.'
-- Robin Williams (Bicentennial man)
Things won are done; joy's soul lies in the doing.
-- William Shakespeare
"Why are women so much more interesting to men than men are to women?"
-- Virginia Woolf
On the outskirts of every agony sits some observant fellow who points.
-- Virginia Woolf
Smile, it makes people wonder what you're thinking.
Do not condemn the judgment of another because it differs from your own. You may both be wrong.
-- Dandemis
Women's virtue is man's greatest invention.
-- Cornelia Otis Skinner
As the cheetah said to the chameleon:
You can hide, but you can't run!
-- Alan Williams
He who knows only his own side of the case knows little of that.
-- John Stuart Mill
"You don't have to suffer to be a poet. Adolescence is enough suffering for anyone."
-- John Ciardi
"Make lots of money", "enjoy the work", "operate within the law": choose 2
-- Brian Anderson
Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.
Remember, to be forewarned is to be forearmed, and to be forearmed is to be half octopus.
-- Gene Smith
For most mothers, day care is a problem. I'm looking for night care, too.
-- Cathy Crimmins
Yakko: It's that time again!
Wakko: To make the Fox censors cry?
-- Animaniacs (The Wheel of Morality)
There was never a saint with red hair.
(Russian proverb)
Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly.
-- Morticia Adams
If I have seen further than other men, it is by stepping on their glasses.
-- Michael Swaine
I must invent my own philosophical systems, or else be enslaved by other men's.
-- William Blake
"'Stay' is a charming word in a friend's vocabulary."
Headline: Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
If it wasn't for the optimist the pessimist would never know how happy he isn't.
Pedestrian, n: The variable (and audible) part of the roadway for an automobile.
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
-- Bradley's Bromide
Landing: a controlled mid-air collision with a planet.
"I may not be totally perfect, but parts of me are excellent."
-- Ashleigh Brilliant
"No one has ever loved anyone the way everyone wants to be loved."
-- Mignon McLaughlin
People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first.
-- David H. Comins
BASIC, n.:
A programming language. Related to certain social diseases in that those who have it will not admit it in polite company.
"Sometimes the need to mess with their heads outweighs the millstone of humiliation."
-- Fox Mulder (The X-Files)
If I'm not back in five minutes, wait longer.
(Ace Ventura)
Call me a wacky conservative, but I believe that sex toys should be easily differentiated from Pez dispensers.
-- Victoria Swann
"If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly."
-- Ashleigh Brilliant
I think it's a beautiful day to go to the zoo and feed the ducks.
To the lions.
-- Brian Kantor (the SDM)
Don't seek happiness. Happiness is like an orgasm. If you think about it too much it goes away.
-- Tim Minchin
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
-- Marianne Williamson (A Return to Love)
There are lots of things I'd like to be someday, but "normal" is definitely not one of them.
-- Nelson Minar
The time for action is past! Now is the time for senseless bickering!
-- Ashleigh Brilliant
"Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Become a Librarian."
Politicians should be changed frequently, like diapers - and for much the same reason.
Silence is the door between Love and Fear; and on Fear's side there is no latch.
-- Diane Duane ("the Door into Fire")
The worst is not so long as we can say "This is the worst."
-- William Shakespeare (King Lear)
"The disappearance of a sense of responsibility is the most far-reaching consequence of submission to authority."
-- Stanley Milgram
The light at the end of a tunnel may be an oncoming train.
Destinesia: The act of entering a room and forgetting why.
A Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer is to computing what a McDonalds Certified Food Specialist is to fine cuisine.
"Faith" is a fine invention
When Gentlemen can see --
But microscopes are prudent
In an Emergency.
-- Emily Dickinson
Why are all the gorgeous ones homicidal maniacs? Is it me?
-- Bruce Wayne (Batman & Robin)
"When men are pure, laws are useless; when men are corrupt, laws are broken."
-- Benjamin Disraeli
The human animal differs from the lesser primates in his passion for lists of "Ten Best".
-- H. Allen Smith
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
-- William James
Sign on an electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts"
Vegetarians are people who cannot hear tomatos screaming.
-- Joseph Campbell
"Emacs is for people who desperately want to get drunk, but feel guilty doing so without a reason."
-- Miles O'Neal