77 hits
He said "It's all in your head", and I said "So's everything" but he didn't get it /
I thought he was a man but he was just a little boy.-- Fiona Apple (Paper Bag)
A wolf in sheeps clothing needs professional help.
Ban the bomb. Save the world for conventional warfare.
Keep emotionally active. Cater to your favorite neurosis.
355/113 -- Not the famous irrational number PI, but an incredible simulation.
The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.
The fewer clear facts you have in support of an opinion, the stronger your emotional attachment to that opinion.
"The degree of normality in a database is inversely proportional to that of its DBA"
Rational, adj: Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.-- Ambrose Bierce
Insanity, a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.-- R. D. Lang
I'm opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.-- Mark Twain
Love is like pi: natural, irrational and very important.-- Lisa Hoffman
Passionate hatred can give meaning and purpose to an empty life.-- Eric Hoffer
The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it.-- Abbie Hoffman
You can be a professional without being constipated about it.-- David Keyser
Clique: A group of insiders who greet outsiders with their backsides; a closed circle of asses. (Cynic's Dictionary)
Abortion is advocated only by persons who have themselves been born.-- Ronald Reagan
Sniglet, n: Any word that doesn't appear in the dictionary, but should.-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")
Subduction leads to orogeny!
Math Anxiety: An intense lifelong fear of two trains approaching each other at speeds of 60 and 80 mph. (Cynic's Dictionary)
"Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt."-- Herbert Hoover
"Psychoanalysis is confession without absolution."
Quality Of Life: What an industrialized nation is said to offer when enough of its citizens are suffering from terminal stress. (Cynic's Dictionary)
Nationalism is an infantile disease. It is the measles of mankind.-- Albert Einstein
Poetry is a deal of joy and pain and wonder, with a dash of the dictionary.-- Kahlil Gibran
"Picture the sun as the origin of two intersecting 6-dimensional hyperplanes from which we can deduce a certain transformational sequence which gives us the terminal velocity of a rubber duck ..."
Speer's 1st Law of Proofreading: The visibility of an error is inversely proportional to the number of times you have looked at it.
"People can travel great distances on a computer, so why can't we travel that way emotionally?"-- Tori Amos
To in good days say "look what i've reached"
and on bad days say "why was this done to me"
..is mighty disproportionate.
Proof by intimidation: 'Trivial'.
Angst, n: A form of suffering caused by too much thinking; a phenomenon probably considered incomprehensible by those who own a recreational vehicle.-- Rick Bayan (The Cynic's Dictionary)
We have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another.-- Jonathan Swift
Fanfiction is just fixing things in post-post-production
After 16 years, MTV has finally completed its de-evolution into the shiny things network.-- The Onion
Reasonable, adj: Accessible to the infection of our own opinions. Hospitable to persuasion, dissuasion and evasion.-- Ambrose Bierce
Everyone is entitled to my opinion.
Q. What's the difference between an aerobics instructor and a well-mannered professional torturer?
A. The torturer would apologize first.
Accordion, n: A bagpipe with pleats.
The revolution will NOT be televised.
Domestication is the enemy of romance.
Procrastination will rule one day, OK?
Great art is as irrational as great music. It is mad with its own loveliness.
-- George Jean Nathan
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.-- Gloria Leonard
A passionate commitment to social justice is no substitute for knowing what the hell you're talking about.-- Thomas Sowell
Television: the bland leading the bland.
Lies, damned lies and user documentation.
It is always the best policy to speak the truth, unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar.-- Jerome K. Jerome
"It's been reported that John Bobbitt's porno movie grossed over 10 million. I'm not sure whether that's dollars or people."-- Conan O'Brien
Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I've come to realize there is a very close resemblance to the first.-- Ronald Reagan
X-Chromosome: A genetic double-cross that empowers women with the ability to bear children and reserves for men the right to be color-blind hemophiliacs. (Cynic's Dictionary)
"One person can trigger a million thoughts."
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.-- Winston Churchill
Newton's Fourth Law: Every action has an equal and opposite satisfaction.
If there is any fixed star in our constitutional constellation, it is that no official, high or petty, can prescribe what shall be orthodox politics, nationalism, religion, or other matters of opinion or force citizens to confess by word or act their faith therein.-- Justice Robert Jackson
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Machine learning, n: Automation of your biases
Reality can be beaten with enough imagination.
The skin of civilization is only 7 meals thick
Is there anything safer than TV-style seriousness--i.e., delivering the conventional wisdom as if it were the deeply important truth?-- Pauline Kael
Revolutionary movements attract those who are not good enough for established institutions as well as those who are too good for them.-- George Bernard Shaw
It has been said that man is a rational animal. All my life I have been searching for evidence which could support this.-- Bertrand Russell