randomsearchproposestats
78 hits
"It's a dog eat dog world, and I'm wearing milk bone underwear."
-- Norm (Cheers)
"Time goes by so fast, people go in and out of your life. You must never miss the opportunity to tell these people how much they mean to you."
(Cheers)
God help us... We're in the hands of engineers.
(Jurassic park)
"Early morning cheerfulness can be extremely obnoxious."
-- William Feather
I'm sure we can arrange an academic scholarship for Detritus. Troll cheerleaers would be nice: 'Two... four.... er.. many... lots'.
-- Terry Pratchett (alt.fan.pratchett)
Argue not with Dragons, for thou art crunchy and go well with cheese.
"The poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese."
-- G. K. Chesterton
"It's all cheese anyway."
-- Barnes and Barnes
Rehab is for quitters.
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
-- Steven Wright
Only a mediocre person is always at his best.
-- Somerset Maugham
Is simplicity best or simply the easiest?
-- Depeche Mode
To be understood is a luxury.
Hermits have no peer pressure.
As the cheetah said to the chameleon:
You can hide, but you can't run!
-- Alan Williams
Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
-- Will Rogers
Headline: 'Two sisters reunited after eighteen years at checkout counter'
"Guilt was the grease in which the wheels of the authority turned."
-- Terry Pratchett (Small Gods)
Coincidences are spiritual puns.
-- G. K. Chesterton
The herd instinct among economists makes sheep look like independent thinkers.
I try to make computers say things like "You have 60 seconds to achieve safe distance".
-- Terry Pratchett
"I don't use drugs, my dreams are frightening enough."
-- M. C. Escher
I didn't go to university. Didn't even finish A-levels. But I have sympathy for those who did.
-- Terry Pratchett (alt.fan.pratchett)
Music Teacher's Door: "Out Chopin"
If I heeded all the advice I've had over the years, I'ld have written 18 books about Rincewind.
-- Terry Pratchett (alt.fan.pratchett)
"A word to the wise is unnecessary."
-- La Rouchefoucauld
Things will get better, despite our efforts to improve them.
-- Will Rogers
Teacher's First Law of Grading Lab Papers: If an experiment has perfect results, the student has cheated.
Baby orang-otans look like surprised coconuts.
-- Terry Pratchett
Dissent is the highest form of patriotism.
-- Thomas Jefferson
Do unto others before they undo you.
I have so little sex appeal that my gynecologist calls me 'sir.'
-- Joan Rivers
If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
-- Will Rogers
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
-- Fletcher Knebel
"Popcorn is good with Parmesan cheese. It makes much more of a meal. You get your grains, you get your dairy, it's hot food. It works, I'm telling you."
"Loved by some, accepted by others and misunderstood by most."
The duke had a mind that ticked like a clock and, like a clock, it regularly went cuckoo.
-- Terry Pratchett (Wyrd Sisters)
It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.
-- Emerson
Of course, it is very important to be sober when you take an exam. Many worthwhile careers in the street-cleansing, fruit-picking and subway-guitar-playing industries have been founded on a lack of understanding of this simple fact.
-- Terry Pratchett (Moving Pictures)
Fame is proof that people are gullible.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
In case of emergency, speak in cliches.
The voters have spoken, the bastards...
Dickens, as you know, never got round to starting his home page.
-- Terry Pratchett (alt.fan.pratchett)
"Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong answers."
There was something - difficult to describe, when you've only got shoddy, post-modernist adjectives to work with - cheerfully revential in his manner, as if he had just seen the Messiah and remembered that the Messiah owed him twenty quid.
-- Tom Holt ("My Hero")
"And then the world went mad. All right, madder."
-- Terry Pratchett (Pyramids)
Chef, n.: Any cook who swears in French.
"Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind."
-- Terry Pratchett
This isn't life in the fast lane, it's life in the oncoming traffic.
-- Terry Pratchett (alt.fan.pratchett)
"I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"A facility for quotation covers the absence of original thought."
-- Dorothy Leigh Sayers
Microsoft: Re-inventing the square wheel.
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
-- Will Rogers
"A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything."
-- Nietzsche
Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant "idiot".
-- Terry Pratchett ("The Colour of Magic")
"Most bad government has grown out of too much government."
-- Thomas Jefferson
Beware by whom you are called sane.
-- Walter Inglis Anderson
"We have art in order not to die of the truth."
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
"To describe the beating of Egg Whites is almost as cheeky as advising how to lead a happy life."
-- The Joy of Cooking
Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.
-- Terry Pratchett (Hogfather)
"Art, like morality, consists of drawing the line somewhere."
-- G. K. Chesterton
Headline: Miners Refuse to Work after Death
"One person can trigger a million thoughts."
Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder.
God made us sisters. Prozac made us friends.
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
The only valid censorship of ideas is the right of people not to listen.
-- Tommy Smothers
"In the Beginning there was nothing, which exploded."
-- Terry Pratchett (Lords and Ladies)
"Colleges are places where pebbles are polished and diamonds are dimmed."
-- R.S. Ingersoll
"Truth is beautiful, without doubt; but so are lies."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Sometimes it's better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness.
-- Terry Pratchett
"Any idiot can face a crisis - it's this day-to-day living that wears you out."
-- Anton Chekhov
Be wiser than other people if you can, but do not tell them so.
-- Lord Chesterfield
For animals, the entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks.
-- Terry Pratchett
All that glitters has a high refractive index.
"Make lots of money", "enjoy the work", "operate within the law": choose 2
-- Brian Anderson
"In every real man a child is hidden that wants to play."
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
-- Rich Cook