37 hits
"How else am I to get you to treat me like a man of weight and substance unless I act as morally perturbed and angst-ridden as everyone else in this room?"-- Beast (X-Men comic)
If men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament.
"Shouldn't we be carefully placing these comics in plastic bags?"
"No, we have lives." (MST3K)
Talk to your kids about sex. Tell them just how absolutely incredible it really is. (The Covert Comic)
War on common sense - I think we actually won that one...
People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first.-- David H. Comins
"Virtual" means never knowing where your next byte is coming from.
Creepy music coming from a cemetery should always be investigated more closely.
Nobody's gonna believe that computers are intelligent until they start coming in late and lying about it.
In the past, men created witches; now they create mental patients.-- Tom Szasz
Organic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon compounds.
Biochemistry is the study of carbon compounds that crawl.-- Mike Adams
The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.-- Terry Pratchett
"You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses."-- Ziggy
"Until we take how we see ourselves (and how we see others) into account, we will be unable to understand how others see and feel about themselves and their world. Unaware, we will project our intentions on their behavior and call ourselves objective."-- Stephen Covey
His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.-- Woody Allen
"The Ten Commandments contain 297 words. The Bill of Rights is stated in 463 words. Lincoln's Gettysburg Address contains 266 words. A recent federal directive to regulate the price of cabbage contains 26,911 words." (Atlanta Journal)
Men forget, but never forgive. Women forgive, but never forget.
"I don't mind you coming here and wasting all my time, 'cause when you're standing oh so near, I kinda lose my mind."-- The Cars
If you sat a million monkeys down at a million computers, they might just come up with a great... Oh wait... we're already doing that.-- J.P. Styskal
Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.-- Abraham Lincoln
Ad Nauseam: Commercials that make you puke.
(A)bort (R)etry (T)oss computer across room?
Economics exists merely to employ economists.
Young men think old men are fools; but old men know young men are fools.-- George Chapman
PMS, n: the short period of time when women act like men do all the time.
"Faith" is a fine invention
When Gentlemen can see --
But microscopes are prudent
In an Emergency.-- Emily Dickinson
"It's been reported that John Bobbitt's porno movie grossed over 10 million. I'm not sure whether that's dollars or people."-- Conan O'Brien
Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it - even if I have said it - unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.-- Buddha
Guru, n: A computer owner who can read the manual.
"Democracy consists of choosing your dictators, after they've told you what it is you want to hear."-- Alan Coren