randomsearchproposestats
43 hits
After 16 years, MTV has finally completed its de-evolution into the shiny things network.
-- The Onion
The only rose without thorns is friendship.
The elephant is the only mammal that can't jump.
Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.
"...the only place for 63,000 bugs is a rain forest"
The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
Kisses are like tears. The only ones that are real are the ones you can't hold back.
Politics is storytelling. We just pick the one we like best.
The only way to amuse some people is to slip and fall on an icy pavement.
The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize.
(Steel Magnolias)
pride is not the opposite of shame, but its source
Patience is something you admire greatly in the driver behind you but not in the one ahead of you.
"In all our searching, the only thing we found that makes the emptiness bearable, is each other"
(Contact)
"SPOOOOOOON!"
-- The Tick
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
-- Mae West.
Q: Why did the germ cross the microscope?
A: To get to the other slide.
The only ism Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.
-- Dorothy Parker
Q: Why did the tachyon cross the road?
A: Because it was on the other side.
"The way I play is a bit torturous but... it's the only way I know how to play."
-- Tori Amos
The only good strategy is one that no one else understands.
-- Tracy Kidder
No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.
"The only interesting answers are those which destroy the questions."
-- Susan Sontag
The only unnatural sex act is that which you cannot perform.
-- Alfred Kinsey
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
-- Steven Wright
Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.
-- Jules de Gaultier
The only valid censorship of ideas is the right of people not to listen.
-- Tommy Smothers
Artificial Intelligence: the art of making computers that behave like the ones in movies.
-- Bill Bulko
"Mobile phones are the only subject on which men boast about who's got the smallest."
-- Neil Kinnock
If it wasn't for the optimist the pessimist would never know how happy he isn't.
"A sense of humor is the only thing that keeps intelligent people from hanging themselves."
-- Voltaire
Proof by omission: The reader may easily supply the details. The other 253 cases are analogous.
A philosopher is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. A theologian is the one who finds it.
How do you know if honesty is the best policy unless you've tried some of the others?
The music is the magic carpet that the other things take naps on.
-- Tori Amos
This isn't life in the fast lane, it's life in the oncoming traffic.
-- Terry Pratchett (alt.fan.pratchett)
Psychiatrists say that one out of four people are mentally ill. Check three friends. If they're OK, chances are you're the one.
I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there.
-- Fred Allen
Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion- several of them. He is the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself and cuts his throat if his theology isn't straight.
-- Mark Twain
"We are at times too ready to believe that the present is the only possible state of things."
-- Marcel Proust
Stay away from needle drugs. Richard Nixon is the only dope worth shooting.
-- Abbie Hoffman ("Steal this Book")
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
-- Goethe
T.V. is the only wet nurse that would create a cripple
-- The Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy (Television, the Drug of the Nation)
Don’t speak unless you can improve on the silence.