randomsearchproposestats
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Talk to your kids about sex. Tell them just how absolutely incredible it really is.
(The Covert Comic)
The cost of living is going up, and the chance of living is going down.
"Not a Morning Person" doesn't even begin to cover it.
"Making the simple complicated is easy. Making the complicated simple is brilliant."
Nobody's gonna believe that computers are intelligent until they start coming in late and lying about it.
"Success consists of doing the common things of life uncommonly well."
"The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance."
-- Robert R. Coveyou
An intellectual is someone whose mind watches itself.
-- Albert Camus
In the end, man is not entirely guilty — he did not start history. Nor is he wholly innocent — he continues it.
-- Albert Camus
"I don't mind you coming here and wasting all my time, 'cause when you're standing oh so near, I kinda lose my mind."
-- The Cars
"Simple pleasures are the last refuge of the complex."
-- Oscar Wilde
"Shouldn't we be carefully placing these comics in plastic bags?"
"No, we have lives."
(MST3K)
Common sense: The collection of prejudices acquired by age 18.
-- Albert Einstein
The chance of a lifetime is to be yourself.
"The conviction of the rich that the poor are happier is no more foolish than the conviction of the poor that the rich are."
-- Mark Twain
You know what charm is: a way of getting the answer `yes' without having asked any clear question.
-- Albert Camus
If the automobile had followed the same development as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year killing everyone inside.
-- Robert Cringely ("InfoWorld")
Know thyself. If you need help, call the C.I.A.
I never think of the future. It comes soon enough.
-- Albert Einstein
The course of true love never did run smooth.
-- Shakespeare
If people behaved like governments, you'd call the cops.
-- Kelvin Throop
All New: The software is not compatible with any previous version.
"The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out the conservative adopts them."
-- Mark Twain
"Fast, fat computers breed slow, lazy programmers."
-- Robert Hummel
"The computer world is like a great big toy store. But all the toys are broken."
-- Steve Witham
"It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution."
-- Oscar Wilde
When it comes to thought some people stop at nothing.
"Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt."
-- Herbert Hoover
What do people mean when they say the computer went down on them?
-- Marilyn Pittman
"The imposition of stigma is the commonest form of violence used in democratic societies."
-- R. A. Pinker
Government of the people
By a corrupt subset of the people
For the people who can afford the corrupt subset of the people.

-- Chris Newport
"You should see the album cover--for my hairspray if nothing else."
-- Tori Amos (Regarding Y Kant Tori Read)
The more we disagree, the bigger the chance that at least one of us is right.
"SPOOOOOOON!"
-- The Tick
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
-- Goethe
People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first.
-- David H. Comins
Renning's Maxim: Man is the highest animal. Man does the classifying.
You must be the change you wish to see in the world.
-- Gandhi
"I really didn't foresee the Internet. But then, neither did the computer industry. Not that that tells us very much of course - the computer industry didn't even foresee that the century was going to end."
-- Douglas Adams
"The country has charms only for those not obliged to stay there."
-- Edouard Manet
Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow
Don't walk behind me, I may not lead
Just walk beside me and be my friend
-- Albert Camus
Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant "idiot".
-- Terry Pratchett ("The Colour of Magic")
There is no salvation in becoming adapted to a world which is crazy.
-- Henry Miller ("The Colossus of Maroussi", 1941)
"Virtual" means never knowing where your next byte is coming from.
"A facility for quotation covers the absence of original thought."
-- Dorothy Leigh Sayers
In a church bulletin: The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The Congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs.
-- Aldous Huxley
"Everything is convention, including law. When it is not the thought that led to the convention, but just the records of the convention that define morals, structural ethics are too dependant, and likely doomed."
All sunshine makes the desert.
-- Arab proverb
'Love' is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.
-- Robert A. Heinlein (Jubal Harshaw, Stranger in a Strange Land)
When I examine myself and my methods of thought, I come to the conclusion that the gift of fantasy has meant more to me than any talent for abstract, positive thinking.
-- Albert Einstein