41 hits
"He'd never realized that, deep down inside, what he really wanted to do was make things go splat."-- Terry Pratchett (Reaper Man)
He was as shy as a newspaper is when referring to its own merits.
Take my word for it, the silliest woman can manage a clever man, but it needs a very clever woman to manage a fool.-- Kipling
If you're going to tell people the truth, you better make them laugh.
Never moon a werewolf.
Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock.-- Pablo Picasso
Proof by omission: The reader may easily supply the details. The other 253 cases are analogous.
My karma ran over my dogma.
The public seems incapable of distinguishing between your garden variety idiot and your genuine lunatic. It is the same confusion the public has had over the last five Presidents.-- Mark Leeper
"Character may be manifested in the great moments, but it is made in the small ones."-- Phillips Brooks
I'm an apatheist. The question is no longer interesting, and the answer no longer matters.-- petro (a.s.r)
So many idiots, so few meteors.
When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 per minute.-- Steven Wright
NASA doesn't have any live weapons; we can only drop management paperwork on those who peeve us--but with a B-52 we can drop a lot of it!-- Mary Shafer
Erotica is stuff that's meant to be read with one hand.-- Carl Manz
"I figured out why I'm not getting seriously rich. I write newspaper columns. Nobody ever makes newspaper columns into Major Motion Pictures starring Tom Cruise. The best you can hope for, with a newspaper column, is that people will like it enough to attach it to their refrigerators with magnets shaped like fruit."-- Dave Barry
"All the parts falling off this car are of the very finest British manufacture"-- Bumper sticker
As the main says, it has yet to be proven intelligence has any survival value.
Whether it deserves some respect is another matter.
"God is my co-pilot, but the Devil is my bombardier."-- Bumper sticker
He said "It's all in your head", and I said "So's everything" but he didn't get it /
I thought he was a man but he was just a little boy.-- Fiona Apple (Paper Bag)
"Paper has a genius for multiplication that cannot be equalled anywhere else in nature."-- Hugh Keenleyside
"The country has charms only for those not obliged to stay there."-- Edouard Manet
"We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?"-- Bumper sticker
"In our minds, love and lust are really separated. It's hard to find someone that can be kind and you can trust enough to leave your kids with, and isn't afraid to throw her man up against the wall and lick him from head to toe."-- Tori Amos
Renning's Maxim: Man is the highest animal. Man does the classifying.
It's 3:30 A.M. Do you know where your mail is?
Education, then, beyond all other devices of human origin, is the great machinery.-- Horace Mann
Bagdikian's Observation:
Trying to be a first-rate reporter on the average American newspaper is like trying to play Bach's 'St. Matthew Passion' on a ukelele.
God must love assholes--she made so many of them.
One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.-- Lucille S. Harper
Guru, n: A computer owner who can read the manual.
I think it's adorable that our fans call me Shirl. It's preferrable to asshole.-- Shirley Manson
"What makes resisting temptation difficult, for many people, is that they don't want to discourage it completely."-- Franklin P. Jones