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"Life is a zoo in a jungle."
-- Peter De Vries

"The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do."
-- Walter Bagehot

Caffeine is not a substitute for sheep.
-- Peter da Silva

Seattle reminds me a lot of London, where people will drink 12 beers but they never act drunk. Which makes you wonder what the point is of drinking 12 beers, if you're not going to put the lampshade on your head. You're killing your liver and still having no fun.
-- Peter Bagge

"The murals in restaurants are on a par with the food in museums."
-- Peter De Vries

Education makes people easy to lead, but difficult to drive; easy to govern, but impossible to enslave.
-- Henry Peter Brougham

Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.
-- Laurance J. Peter

If you don't know where you are going, you'll probably end up somewhere else.
-- Laurence J. Peter

Confession is good for the soul only in the sense that a tweed coat is good for dandruff.
-- Peter de Vries

Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings.
-- Laurence J. Peter

[Perl] isn't a programming language, it's a thousand special case rules flying in close formation.
-- Peter da Silva

"Life at the top is financially rewarding, spiritually draining, physically exhausting, and short."
-- Peter C. Newman

The loom works perfectly well without the steam powered wig darner and shortbread cutter stapled to the side.
-- Peter da Silva

"In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence."
-- Laurence Johnston Peter

"In America, through pressure of conformity, there is freedom of choice, but nothing to choose from."
-- Peter Alexander Ustinov

"The main differences between a computer salesman and a used car salesman is that the used car salesman can probably drive and knows when he's lying."
-- Peter da Silva

"When solving a kernel panic you must first ask yourself what you were doing that could possibly frighten an operating system."
-- Peter van der Linden

She's not my girlfriend. I find her interesting because she's a client and she sleeps above her covers. Four feet above her covers.
-- Dr. Peter Venkman (Ghostbusters.)

> 0C is freezing, 100C is boiling, 70F is a nice day, and 110C is a nice
> sauna.
This is the same logic that took out the Mars Polar Lander, I see.

-- Peter da Silva

"Competence, like truth, beauty and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder."
-- Dr. Laurence Peter and Raymond Hull

We have gone from a world of concentrated knowledge and wisdom to one of distributed ignorance. And we know and understand less while being increasingly capable.

-- Peter Cochrane

I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life.
-- Lester Burnham (American Beauty)

Hi, this is Peter. Right now alien creatures are eating my brain. Please leave a message at the tone and when they are finished one of the alien creatures will assume my form and get back to you.
-- Peter da Silva (heard occasionally on his answering machine)

"Most of us, when all is said and done, like what we like and make up reasons for it afterwards."
-- Soren F. Petersen

"A government that is big enough to give you all you want is big enough to take it all away."
-- Barry Goldwater

Better blatant than latent.
-- Scott Safier

“Pain (any pain – emotional, physical, mental) has a message. The information it has about our life can be remarkably specific, but it usually falls into one of two categories: “We would be more alive if we did more of this,” and, “Life would be more lovely if we did less of that.” Once we get the pain’s message, and follow its advice, the pain goes away.”
-- Peter McWilliams

Oh, soddit, blackmail is too much like work.
-- Roger BW

Thy sky is falling...no, I'm tipping over backwards.
-- Steven Wright

"Children are like TV sets. When they start acting weird, whack them across the eyes with a big rubber basketball shoe."
-- Hunter S. Thompson

He said "It's all in your head", and I said "So's everything" but he didn't get it /
I thought he was a man but he was just a little boy.

-- Fiona Apple (Paper Bag)

Choconiverous, adj: Biting off the head of the chocolate Easter bunny first.
-- Rich Hall ("Sniglets")

There is always a big future in computer maintenance.
-- Deteriorata (from the National Lampoon Radio Dinner album)

Accordion, n: A bagpipe with pleats.

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