30 hits
"The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do."-- Walter Bagehot
He was as shy as a newspaper is when referring to its own merits.
He said "It's all in your head", and I said "So's everything" but he didn't get it /
I thought he was a man but he was just a little boy.-- Fiona Apple (Paper Bag)
Seattle reminds me a lot of London, where people will drink 12 beers but they never act drunk. Which makes you wonder what the point is of drinking 12 beers, if you're not going to put the lampshade on your head. You're killing your liver and still having no fun.-- Peter Bagge
"Paper has a genius for multiplication that cannot be equalled anywhere else in nature."-- Hugh Keenleyside
Ad from newspaper:
'Dinner Special--Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.'
Bagdikian's Observation:
Trying to be a first-rate reporter on the average American newspaper is like trying to play Bach's 'St. Matthew Passion' on a ukelele.
Oh, soddit, blackmail is too much like work.-- Roger BW
"God is my co-pilot, but the Devil is my bombardier."-- Bumper sticker
Thy sky is falling...no, I'm tipping over backwards.-- Steven Wright
"I figured out why I'm not getting seriously rich. I write newspaper columns. Nobody ever makes newspaper columns into Major Motion Pictures starring Tom Cruise. The best you can hope for, with a newspaper column, is that people will like it enough to attach it to their refrigerators with magnets shaped like fruit."-- Dave Barry
Teacher's First Law of Grading Lab Papers: If an experiment has perfect results, the student has cheated.
"We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?"-- Bumper sticker
Scientists find wonder in everything, except extremely dull papers on quality assurance.
-- Telo (#xkcd)
"All the parts falling off this car are of the very finest British manufacture"-- Bumper sticker
Accordion, n: A bagpipe with pleats.
All your base pairs are belong to us
"We apologize for the error in last week's paper in which we stated that Mr. Arnold Dogbody was a defective in the police force. We meant, of course, that Mr. Dogbody is a detective in the police farce." (Correction Notice in the Ely Standard)
"A government that is big enough to give you all you want is big enough to take it all away."-- Barry Goldwater
"He'd never realized that, deep down inside, what he really wanted to do was make things go splat."-- Terry Pratchett (Reaper Man)
One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.-- Lucille S. Harper
Many topics summarily dismissed as "idiocy" here have been brought up on a regular basis for far too long by a seemingly endless succession of half-wits who think their feculant pearls of wisdom are somehow new, and deserving of a carefully crafted response.-- Bob Lodenkamper
Many times one is asked to "listen" to the same dusty old set of lies, factual errors, hate and stupidity that some fool thinks is an acceptable ethical system. Why bother? Believe me, it gets old real fast.-- Bob Lodenkamper