randomsearchproposestats
36 hits
It's is not, it isn't ain't, and it's it's, not its, if you mean it is. If you don't, it's its. Then too, it's hers. It isn't her's. It isn't our's either. It's ours, and likewise yours and theirs.
(Oxford University Press)
Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland: Rich and thick.
-- Samuel Beckett
Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau.
-- Irving Fisher (Professor of Economics, Yale University, 1929.)
I didn't go to university. Didn't even finish A-levels. But I have sympathy for those who did.
-- Terry Pratchett (alt.fan.pratchett)
A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry.
Hence University education.
-- George Bernard Shaw
Jesus said to them, "Who do you say that I am?"
They replied, "You are the eschatological manifestation of the ground of our being, the kerygma of which we find the ultimate meaning in our interpersonal relationships."
And Jesus said, "What?"
-- graffiti at St. John's University, New York (A Year of Graffiti, Nigel Rees, Great Britain, 1983)
Humor is just another defense against the universe
-- Mel Brooks
The Creation of the Universe was made possible by a grant from Texas Instruments.
(Credits, "The Creation of the Universe" (A PBS scientific documentary))
Any member introducing a dog into the Society's premises shall be liable to a fine of one pound. Any animal leading a blind person shall be deemed a cat.
(Rule 46, Oxford Union Society, London)
Why does the universe go to all the bother of existing?
-- Stephen Hawking
Unseen University had never admitted women, muttering something about problems with the plumbing, but the real reason was an unspoken dread that if women were allowed to mess around with magic they would probably be embarrassingly good at it.
-- Terry Pratchett
In order to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
-- Carl Sagan
The two most common elements in the Universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
-- Harlan Ellison
Technology is a way of organizing the universe so that man doesn't have to experience it.
-- Max Frisch
A man said to the universe, "Sir, I exist."
"However," replied the universe, "the fact has not created in me a sense of obligation."
-- Stephan Crane ("War is Kind," 1899)
What is inconceivable about the universe is that it is at all conceivable.
-- Albert Einstein
Hermits have no peer pressure.
The universe is full of magical things, patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.
-- Eden Phillpots
 "It's gone wrong."
Professor George Eisenkopf, resident nuclear genius at the University of Chicopee Falls, Iowa, and the State Department's leading authority on civilian atomic power, scratched his nose with the plastic coffee-stirrer he'd been given on the plane.
 "It isn't working properly," he added, in case there were any laymen present.
-- Tom Holt ("Odds and Gods")
Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch to be sure.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
-- Rich Cook
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
-- Albert Einstein
"The computer programmer is a creator of universes for which he alone is responsible. Universes of virtually unlimited complexity can be created in the form of computer programs."
-- Joseph Weizenbaum
Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
-- Calvin (Calvin & Hobbes)
My goal is simple. It is complete understanding of the universe, why it is as it is and why it exists at all.
-- Stephen Hawking
Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.
-- Albert Einstein
Given that God is infinite, and given that the Universe is also infinite, would you like a toasted tea cake?
-- Talkie Toaster (Red Dwarf: 'White hole')
Now, in the Overall Schema Of The Universe, I would imagine that this sort of thing ranks somewhere down around gnat's eyelashes.
-- George Madison
If I had a degree, it would be in Literary Criticism and Cinema Studies. I would never consider a technical degree; how-to stuff, I think, should be self-taught or trade school taught. Training has nothing to do with education, which is what belongs in universities.
-- Roger Klorese
For animals, the entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks.
-- Terry Pratchett
I have so little sex appeal that my gynecologist calls me 'sir.'
-- Joan Rivers
When in doubt, make a fool of yourself. There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot in the universe- So what the hell, leap.
"WARNING: This Product Attracts Every Other Piece of Matter in the Universe."
-- Susan Hewitt and Edward Subitzky
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
-- Douglas Adams (The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
Practical uses of physics laws:
Student to teacher:
"I determined the momentum of my homework's so accurately that, according to Heisenberg, it could be anywhere in the universe by now..."
Christian Fundamentalism: The doctrine that there is an absolutely powerful, infinitely knowledgeable, universe spanning entity that is deeply and personally concerned about my sex life.
-- Andrew Lias